Photo Fermata

Something new!

2011-03-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

I came out of the photography closet and started a new blog today. I proudly own it and stand behind it with my full name. Please take a look at the new space. It is in its infancy, so not much content, but you know I am a pretty regular writer/poster if you read this blog. My new blog is called Looking about.

This is the last post for this blog. Once again - I appreciate all of you and hope you had a good ride. Good bye.

Tschüß, До свидания, Ciao, Adios

2011-01-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

Nothing to look at here. Keep on moving along.

Many pilgrims sailing to distant lands beached their ships, burned them to the ground and moved on to their ultimate destination. They did this to remove the temptation of going back to what was familiar and forced them to move on to their new lives. In Viking cultures, the fallen warrior's body rested on a ship and the family and friends would set it ablaze to say goodbye and send him in to Valhalla. This blog is now beached. This blog is dead. I am burning it down soon to clear some clutter from my life. It served its purpose.

I originally created The Sensual 5-7-5 as an outlet for my artistically and erotically repressed soul. I was a naive blogger who had much to learn. It evolved into the Sensual 7 Seconds, and finally became the The Photo Fermata. Through all of these iterations I used it as a sounding board of ideas, to share rants and raves, to expose readers to ideas, art, and life, to seek glory, to share my dark secrets and to learn what it means to produce in the pixel forest. It did this. Too be honest though, I don't think the blog is worth what it once was.

To grunt and sweat under a weary life - Hamlet 3/1 - Shakespeare

I had the wind taken out of my sails a little while ago concerning this piece of myself known as the Photo Fermata. Diminishing readership, declining comments, and staleness show me it is time to light the torch and burn it down.

Thanks to those who followed and commented. I appreciate the friendships we made. I will continue to read and enjoy all the blogs I currently follow. To my readers, enjoy the old posts. Feel free to comment. I leave this burned out hulk as a vestige of my tiny tree in the overly dense pixel forest.

I hope you all find your place in the world and maybe our paths will cross again.

Tschüß,

Karl

Someday You Will Have Say Goodbye to the Sun

Someday you will have to say "goodbye" to the sun.
You will bid farewell to the moon, the sky, the clouds, and the stars.
As all things that live, we dim out to a smoking wick, our quiet goodbyes to those things that were always with us acknowledge we were the grain and they were the beach.
They may not hear our goodbyes, but their existence in our beings need to be recognized and bid proper adieu.

One of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie, Pulp Fiction

Photo Fermata went shopping for a new outfit

2011-01-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

Valya -011211

Photo Fermata went shopping for a new outfit and is still trying on the new duds before settling on the layout. Thanks to Valya for helping me create one of my best images last year.

There are a few other minor changes to the blog look, but I think you can see the big changes at face value..

The original - Valya - 011211

Valya stencil - 011211

RE-POST Scary shit in Arizona is spreading..

2011-01-10T10:24:00.000-08:00


Don't - Joshua Tree National Park

RE- POST Originally posted on May 5, 2010

First they passed a law in the name of immigration reform allowing police to legally harass you for being brown. Now non-white groups lost their right to learn about their history and culture in public schools. I am sure the liberal arts will be next.

CNN Conversation on Arizona's ethnic studies law (Basically two pundits blasting each other)

So many are making a poison in our country. This poison pits cultures, races, beliefs, religions, art and educational systems against each other. This poison of divisiveness is tearing a hole in our country.

I was too young to develop memories of the turmoil of the 60's and 70's. My only memories are vague unease and stronger memories of the malaise President Carter commented about. Maybe it is time for another cultural revolution. I fear though it may not be a peaceful one.

As I wrote on April 16th:

I look to the four compass points
and am starting to see
the division lines for battles
scratched in varying grounds.

Some are for ideals
some are for religion
some are for freedom for some
some are for closing others in

We are heading to our own chosen lines
we scratch with a sharp, jagged stick
to stand behind and look across to the adversary
then slowly turn our backs to
so we no longer acknowledge
they may be more like us than not.

Is it an itch or a scab?

2011-01-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

NYC - 010711

Damn. I have that itch. I really need to get out of Dodge and go to New York. It is like that lustful itch that nothing but the real thing will satiate. I would be happy as a clam to be sitting on a subway car watching the stops come and go with the daily humanity shuffling about me.

NYC - 010711

I wonder though if that itch is in need of a scratch or is a scab covering something hurt and could leave a scar. Sadly, the earliest I will get back to that place is October. Until then, I guess I am left to look at my images and watching TV shows and movies set there.

What are your favorite movies or TV shows set in NYC that truly reflect the life and locale of that city?

New frontiers

2011-01-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

Valya - 010611

Do you remember that precise moment in your life when you realized, acknowledged and knew, "I am in love."? What about the first time you flew to another country and got off the airplane... and all the signs were different?

I remember the moment when my dog, Paloma, took her last breath and died. At that moment of transition I felt so suddenly alone, sad, and raw. My favorite place in Montana is driving east along Highway 200 between Missoula and Great Falls and getting to that magic moment where the Rocky Mountains suddenly end and the Great Plains hits you with its great expanse.

Rocky Mountain Front/Great Plains outside of Browning, MT - 010611

I am fleshing out an idea for a photo series. It is still very abstract and nebulous to me. The theme is "Borders, Boundaries, and Tipping Points". As a psychology and education graduate, I've always been both perplexed and fascinated by that moment, location, feeling, event, etc., that signals the change or demarcation of what was and what is and will be. We can see what came before and maybe even predict what comes after it, but what is special about that place, time, and experience that turns us around, points us in a into new direction, puts us in another country, or makes us realize we are in love or the love is gone.

Valya - 010611

Courtney - 010611

Even though these areas have always subconsciously interested me all my life, I never thought to formally explore them. I stumbled upon this idea of trying to capture it after showing an artist/photographer friend these photos of Valya and Courtney. He said, "Karl - these two photos are important. They are threshold moments. What is about to happen right now in each changes everything."

Where is that line in SF between the high-end Union Square area and its rough and dirty neighbor, the Tenderloin? What is going through the mind of the beautiful woman at the moment where "yes" becomes the answer? When is the point in time where an era ends and another one replaces it? Where is that point when one more RPM destroys the engine? At what point does that person in from of you become "one of us" or "one of them"?

Right now I am exploring the meaning for words like decision, boundary, border, etc., to find that gossamer of a moment where we pivot, retreat, or march ahead and all changes. I need to figure out where these locations are in the world and in our minds. The challenge will then be to figure out how to capture that moment.

I encourage everyone to share moments of when everything changed, what made that instant powerful, and what did that exact moment mean to you. You can share them in the comments section or send me an email at sidebphotography@gmail.com.

Without a helmet

2011-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

Crossing Houston Street near Katz's deli - NY - 010411

Sometimes I feel like I am taking on all the traffic in the world... while on a bike... without a helmet.

Tourist hint - Be careful how you pronounce the name of Houston Street. It will peg you as an outsider instantly. According to Wikipedia:

The pronunciation of "Houston" confuses many people from outside of New York – invariably becoming one of the easiest signs of spotting tourists – because the letters "ou" are pronounced as in the word house (pronounced /ˈhaʊstən/), whereas the same letters in the name of the city of Houston, Texas are pronounced like the "u" in huge (pronounced /ˈhjuːstən/ or /ˈjuːstən/, "HYOO-stin"). This is because Houston Street was named for William Houstoun – note that the spelling is different – before the fame of Sam Houston, for whom the city in Texas is named.

Bonus trivia - SoHo = South of Houston.

Watch what you swallow.

2011-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

SoHo - NYC - 010310

My Uncle Terwilliger on the Art of Eating Popovers

My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant’s bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with
a penetrating stare…
Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
“To eat these things,”
said my uncle,
“you must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what’s solid…
BUT…
you must spit out the air!”

And…
as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,
that’s darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow. - Theodore Geisel

Maybe this should be my new resolution for the year... be careful of what I swallow.

How many calendars did you get for Christmas?

2011-01-02T17:13:00.000-08:00

Washington Square Park - NYC - 010211

Seems like I always get a few, but not this year. None. I will take everyone's word for it, we are in 2011.

I really miss that city.

Photo first

2010-12-31T11:32:00.000-08:00

SoHo Street Corner - 123110

Good bye 2010 - you were magical and "tragical"...

Photo first

2010-12-30T12:55:00.000-08:00

Kate Moss - NYC Street Art Poster - 123010

Trying something new. I am selecting a photo(s) first and letting it inspire the whole post. For today, I wanted to explore these images of Kate Moss I found in two separate alleys a half mile apart) in SOHO.

I am a big fan of good street art. I don't care whether it is spray-painted, written, or stickers/posters stuck to something. It is vandalism and damages property. I know that and I believe it is a part of the aggressive nature of this art form, similar to street musicians and performers. Most ignore both, some love the expression, others despise the visual/sound pollution and destruction of property both put out.

Where is the art in these pieces? For me, it was the content, placement, location and surrounding environment that made them both powerful. The top one has Kate below a red light staring at you... daring you to enter this door she overlooks. The scribbled pink swishes framing her and the touch of pink on her nipple makes as strong vertical leading to her breast and face. It is all about her vacant, yet judging stare.

Kate Moss x 2, NYC Street Art Poster - 123010

The second photo shows someone covered up other street art with both Kates with an eye for strategic placement. Underneath both Kates and the shoe is a line drawn sketch of two people holding each other in a park. It is a peaceful moment of privacy that is being squashed by Kate (and all the corporate, fashion, glamor, drugs, over-consumption and style empire she represents. On top of Kate is a man's shoe squashing her down as well. The shoe could represent "the man" crushing all that does not directly serve him or is a tool for crushing others.

As with this type of art, you may disagree with my analysis and even with the idea this is art. That is the beauty of art - it doesn't have to work for everyone. If it did, it would only be pop kitsch.

Promises, promises, promises

2010-12-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

Valya - 122910

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. ~John Selden

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. ~George William Curtis

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it. ~Mark Twain, speech in New York City, 31 March 1885

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. ~Andre Gide

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. ~Joey Adams

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
~F.M. Knowles

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. ~Anaïs Nin

Oh, the old habit to make new ones takes to my mind this time of year. What will I start doing? Stop doing? Do more of? Do less of? Who will I do more of with? These are all parts of the resolutions I am looking at starting at midnight Saturday.

Health - A slow diet and increased activity to shed some unwanted Michelin affliction that returned last year. The slow diets tend to work better since they help form better and longer lasting habits.

I really enjoy getting out and being active. I am vague about the type because I like doing many different ones. The perfect activities include: hiking, biking, running, lifting, sex, kayaking, skiing, and many other activities. The key is not to get into a rut of the same stuff. I get bored pretty fast.

Valya-122910

Art - As I mentioned a few days back, I need to work on a few aspects of my photography.
First, I need to take more photos. I get rusty, complacent, and bored if I am not taking photos and creating *fine images from them. I am trying to schedule time with a great model in early February.

Second, I need to work on getting ready for my next stage of life and art, getting an MBA. I've said enough about that journey in a prior post. This includes financial planning and saving for paying for the jump to school.

Third, I need to see more art of others and learn what I can steal, appropriate, and use as influences in my stuff.

Fourth, I need to increase my skills, especially Photoshop and other application abilities. I don't believe in heavily manipulating my images and call it truth, but I don't mind messing them up and distorting their realities.

As for all the other stuff... maybe 2012.

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. ~W.H. Auden

*"Fine" does not mean the same as the defined "fine print" for me. It means I have refined it down to what I want it to be. Whether it meets Ansel, Edward's, etc., criteria does not matter a whit to me.

PHOTO NOTES - God, how did I miss these? I went through my photos of Valya tonight and these two were in the discard pile. I found a bunch more that I tossed and am happy with.

What next???

2010-12-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

5 Pointz - Queens, New York - 122610

"Dígame algo profundo." - A daily challenge from one of my Spanish professors during my undergrad foreign language classes. It means - "Tell me something profound." Since my Spanish was basic and I could only speak in the present and future tense, the profundity of my response was very questionable.

So, when I put up a title like, "What next???", it sounds very profound and alas... it isn't. I am thinking short term, like next semester. Next semester I am taking two classes at my favorite local college. Both are important for helping me get ready for my MFA program.

5 Pointz - Queens, New York - 122610

The first course is history of art from the Renaissance to today. I took this, and other art courses, twenty years ago during my initial undergrad years, but most MFA programs require an art history class taken in the last 5-10 years. I am looking forward to it... again.

The second course is more of an independent working course, but with 17 other photographers. I am taking a Professional Portfolio Development course. It doesn't have much classroom time, but lots of critiques and individual time with the instructor working on my portfolio. I really need this for my MFA application.

As mentioned in yesterday's post, my job situation is precarious. The college classes are pretty inexpensive, so if my job gets axed, I will be able to stay in school.

I am getting impatient to start my MFA, but I remind myself by saying, "baby steps." All of this makes me want to get my camera out today and photograph... something. I have no idea what and that is a problem I will save for another post.

Until then, ciao bellas.

Photo note - Taken at the 5 Pointz buildings in Long Island City, Queens. These buildings are specially set aside for graffiti and street art muralists to use. It is very temporary art with most murals being painted over in only a month or two. I highly recommend it.

As I sit

2010-12-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

River Cam - 122510

It is a low-key Christmas. I'm sitting in a Berkeley coffee shop while my wife is at mass at her uber-liberal Catholic parish. I'm neither jolly, nor ho-ho-ho, but I am not a Grinch either. After 41 Christmases, this day has little meaning to me other than a time to wish others well.

I am not asking for a Christmas miracle to thaw my frozen heart. My Christian belief does not rely on celebrating the false birthday of the religion's namesake. The fact that the church moved it to be near a pagan solstice makes the date meaningless. (I am not disparaging winter solstice, it is my favorite day of the year.)

Next year is tenuous. Over half of the department I work in will be laid off. We have four courses we will be tracked to. 1. Job is safe for another year. 2. Job is cut immediately. 3. Job will last x months until duties/responsibilities can be transferred or outsourced. 4. Job is relocated and I have to move or quit. We find out by January 31st.

My health has been declining for the past half year. Most of it is self-inflicted due to handling stress poorly and adding more stress by my own stupidity to my life. My life is no where near endangered in the short term, but I am doing a great job of taking a decade off it on the tail end.

My art is a high point. I am excited about it. I like the darker turn it has taken. I am not just thinking of the images I made with Courtney, Valya and Moon, but in general. I am starting to appreciate those tough bits of life around us that make us all the same, yet unique in how we approach them.

So, what are my plans for all this? I need to take better care of myself. That is going to be one of my two top priorities for 2011. I need to find time to eat better, workout, and be outside.

My other top priority is my art. It takes two paths. First, I need to actively and consistently creating and pushing it forward. Second, I need to plan and implement strategies to get to the next steps - an MFA and teaching.

Regardless of my job situation, I can work on these two areas. I'd prefer to get laid off in 2012 since my wife will have her PhD and I can follow her to whichever university/college she teaches at. The severance would be good seed money for helping with getting an MFA. If I get the axe this year, I will simplify and find temporary jobs to maintain until I can move to the next step. I guess if I get axed earlier, I will have lots of time to exercise.

So, I guess you were probably expecting a prophetic or (more likely) sappy Christmas message. Not this year. My wish for you though is based on the four gifts of faith - hope, joy, love, and peace. I don't care if you are of my faith, another one, or none at all. I think we all could use these four gifts.

Winter Solstice

2010-12-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

Moon 122110

Winter Solstice -
I love the long darkness that is broken by short daylight illuminating a desaturated gray, white, black and muted colors world.
I love the cold expressions of the earth - steam rising off the water, a dog's breath visible with every pant, the shivers of the people in line for the bus.
I enjoy this day when we are all the same gray beings shuffling about in our gloved lives.
I see the world and all living things as they are - naked of pretense, color, or spark for at this time we exist to move toward the lighter longer days.
Tomorrow is when every day will start getting longer and people come back to color, life, purpose, pretension of what is going to sprout from the sky's warm light.
Instead, this is the day when all pretension of the earth is stripped bare, we are naked of rich beauty and exposed as the raw, unadorned bones and leafless trees.

Hazy Shade of Winter - Paul Simon

Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That's an easy thing to say, but if your hope should pass away
It's simply pretend
That you can build them again

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." ~ Henry Rollins

2010-12-20T19:22:00.000-08:00

California Delta Fence - 122010

Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. ~ Paul Tillich

I love photographers - Courtney

2010-12-19T18:18:00.000-08:00

Courtney the photographer - 121910

A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into. ~Ansel Adams

For the final project in my class I photographed photographers I respect. I wanted to capture them with one of their own images they love and/or feel great pride or connection to. There are many examples of photographer portraits with their photos in the shot. I wanted these to be different. I wanted these to be big and for the photographer to become part of the photo since it is their art.

The first person I worked with is my friend Courtney. She chose this self-portrait that includes her former boyfriend. I can see why this photo is important to her. You can see more of my photos of Courtney from another session here.

I want to thank all of the photographers who sat for me. I will post some photos here that the photographers agreed I could share on this site.

Courtney the photographer - 121910

Unbearable lightness of coincidence???

2010-12-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

Those who follow this blog know about two of my friends here, Carla and Valya (follow these links to read my Proust interviews with them). Valya modeled for me in June and helped me follow my art in a new direction. Carla is a long time friend of this blog.

The coincidence - Carla's old alias was UL or Unbearable Lightness which comes from one of her favorite books, The Unbearable Lightness of Being. She used this alias for years at her blog, What We Saw Today. This morning, Valya published a post with the title Unbearable Lightness of Being along with a photo of her posing in an amazing yoga stretch position that communicates strength, flexibility, and grace all in one.

As a part time scientist, I believe in "pure coincidence" as well as the opposite of it. For now though, I like seeing two parts of my life intersect, however briefly and potentially coincidentally.

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

2010-12-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

California Delta Fence - 121610

If you didn't grow up in agriculture/livestock regions, you may not know the main purpose of barbwire fences. You would think they are there to keep predators away from your livestock. That is a small part of it. The main purpose of barbwire fences is to keep your livestock in a controlled area and prevent them from running away, getting hit by a vehicle, or mingling with your neighbors herd. The invention of barbwire transformed the West from wild openness to closed agriculture empires.

Joshua Tree National Park - 121610

There are so many barbwire fences in our lives - things meant to keep us in. Seat belts, social norms, sidewalks (to keep us from wandering into the streets), offices, cubicles, etc. Our houses are our places to live our lives without intruding into the public. I can get naked, dress, eat, read, watch tv, view porn, make love, scratch, belch, go to the bathroom, yell, listen to music, and do my personal stuff at home without it escaping into the world.

I am neither a fence builder nor a fence wrecker. We need them for safety and privacy. They also hinder us from exploring out of bounds - like kids learning to use crayons in coloring book and told "stay in the lines". Barbwire is designed to scratch and cut both ways... those trying to get in and those trying to get out. Nobody every straddles or sits on barbwire fence due to indecisiveness due to the rusty barbs. Either you are in or out. The question becomes, when is it right to get out?

Two years on...

2010-12-15T01:05:00.000-08:00

Valya - 121510

This blog is a toddler. It is starting to walk on its own and speak simple thoughts. Since December 15, 2008, this blog has:

been reborn not once, but twice and been renamed three or four times.
371 published posts still accessible
60 published posts deleted due to self censorship, poor writing, culling, and other issues
123 draft posts that were never published
15,070 visits
50,558 pages visited
an average reader spending 2 minutes and 33 seconds per visit.
visitors from 114 countries
one evil offspring/brother blog, Hear Me Roar. - A stuttering attempt at validating, defending, and defining masculinity.
are you bored yet with the "greatness"stats??? I am.

I read last years post, One year on and got bored in the first few paragraphs. I wrote last year about all the changes in substance, style, yada yada yada. I am not as sentimental about this blog now as I was a year ago.

Moi, but I've changed since then

My art has changed in the past year. I've given up the notion that I want to be another Edward Weston, Ruth Bernhard, or Imogen Cunningham. You can read more about that here. I am more interested in mixing it up with a sprinkle of those giants, a bit of Robert Frank, a dash of Bob Guccione (RIP) and lots of my own psyche. I am less into celebrating the aesthetic art of the form and more into what the context of the moment means.

My two highlights for the year were trips to Rome and New York City. In Rome I found my spirit. In New York I found my soul. Both changed me forever.

Over the years I've made friends along the way, interviewed a few of them, and savored the comments they shared. Thanks to Carla, Joe, Terrell, Valya, Alex, Z, and many others.

So, enough rambles. Here are my favorite photos of 2010. You may disagree, but all of these are personal, beautiful, and somehow changed me. Some more than others, but they were important. Thanks to locations for being open to me. Thanks to the models for opening themselves to me.

Hit the Road Jack -

Rome

Wells, Nevada

Joshua Tree National Park

New York City

Las Vegas, NV

California Delta and Foothills

Models, muses, beauty, and truth

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. - Andy Warhol

2010-12-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

Valya - 121410

Trying a blog style similar to Valya's. Keep it simple, relevant, and leaving them wanting more.

Simple

2010-12-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

Valya 121310

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness. Henry David Thoreau

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein

For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong. Henry Louis Menken

Feel like drinking.

2010-12-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

Hogs and Heifers Bar- NYC 2010

It's been a long weekend and I feel the need to obliterate it with some alcohol. Not all was bad, or good, but it has been intense. Right now, I would give my last dollar to saddle up on a bar stool in this bar, pour a tall one on two ice cubes, and stare at the bottles on the wall for meaning.

On a different note. I am almost the same age as Elvis when he died at 42. I am about to the age where I am older than all of those that dies too young. MLK was 39. RFK - 42. JFK 36. It wont be long before I start seeing friends dying and not being shocked that it happened at this age.

Until then, I am understanding what Elvis was singing about in this classic. I appreciate his voice and talent more as I grow older and soon, I hope but shouldn't assume, I will have outlived him.

A much lighter version of it.

Word - Sensual

2010-12-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

Sensual - Moon - 2010

Today's word is Sensual

Sensual - (according to dictionary.com)
–adjective

1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.

2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.

3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.

Origin:
1400–50; late ME < L sēnsuālis, equiv. to sēnsu-, s. of sēnsus sense + -ālis -al¹

—Can be confused: sensual, sensuous (see synonym note at this entry ).

—Synonyms
1. Sensual, sensuous, voluptuous refer to experience through the senses. Sensual refers, often unfavorably, to the enjoyments derived from the senses, esp. from the gratification or indulgence of physical appetites: a sensual delight in eating; sensual excesses. Sensuous refers, favorably or literally, to what is experienced through the senses: sensuous impressions; sensuous poetry. Voluptuous implies the luxurious gratification of sensuous or sensual desires: voluptuous joys; voluptuous beauty. See also carnal. 2. lascivious.

If autumn is the extrinsic sensual feast for me, then winter is the intrinsic one. As the world grows gray and cold, my mind, body, and spirit look inward and all sensual gifts are more personal and felt to the core.

Marvin Gaye sang about sexual healing. I wrote about sexual grace. I think it is time for people to enjoy a season of sensual healing and grace. Sensuality is a beautiful gift that can be shared or enjoyed alone. The quiet winter is a perfect season to enjoy it. We aren't so distracted with the fireworks of external experiences of the other seasons and we can truly focus on what gives us, and those we want to share with, the sensual gifts. These gifts can be the warmth of a fire, a touch of love and care on the shoulder, the peace of snow falling on a quiet night, and smell of sensual moments that each of us remember (whether they be filled with spice or eros...)

I find it interesting that one definition of sensual is - "lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste." I guess the sensually repressed had to have their opinion on something they feel should be hidden. Wouldn't the world be better if we took a moment to sensually appreciate the true value of the things we have, instead of just collecting them as status symbols? Why have a big fireplace if you aren't going to lay down and watch it? Why have the best wines gathering dust in a cellar when they are meant to be savored? Why walk by someone special and not share with them that kiss that melts, warms, arouses, takes over you, and ends with a pile of clothing in front of the above mentioned fireplace?

I hope all of you have a sensual moment today. Lose yourself in it if you are alone, share it if it is right, relish and enjoy it either way.

Photo note - Thanks to Moon for creating this image with me. She took the idea of Sensual into the area that makes our skin tingle.

Rejuvenate

2010-12-09T02:32:00.000-08:00

Courtney - 120810

I worked with Courtney again last night. It is part of a series honoring photographers I greatly respect. Photos will be coming soon. It is always interesting having a photographer model for you. They behave very differently from all other types of models. Most are reluctant to be in front of the camera and most know a bit about how the camera functions so the communication is very different.

Imagine

2010-12-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Strawberry Fields - Central Park - New York

Imagine

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Quiet Treatments

2010-12-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

Valya - 120710

A quiet mind cureth all. Robert Burton

Looking for a quiet day here and this photo of Valya (in its two treatments) captures the mood perfectly for me.

Valya - 120710

Congrats to Carla

2010-12-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

Campo di Fiori Statue

Blog friend Carla, aka UL and Dr.L, has outed her identity. So many of us in this area of art and culture hide behind aliases because we are afraid of what may happen if certain groups in our public lives knew of what we created and thought.

Last year I shared my first name, Karl. In that post, Carla wrote a beautiful and true comment.

Good for you!! I wish I could do the same. It is a disgrace we have to fear exposure as creators of fine art nudes. No, it is not a disease, but it is a passion.

Today, Dr. Carla Johnson went all in and showed her cards to those who tried to leverage her anonymity. I think she won that hand magnificently.

Earlier this year I interviewed her for this blog. Please take a moment to read it and get to know her a little better. I also recommend reading her fine blog. She is a true sensual beauty, inside and out.

Piazza Navone

Photo notes - Carla was an inspirational guide to Rome. I retraced some of her steps and got to know her better through it. Here are links ( Part 1 - Part 2) to my post about walking in her footsteps.

Your lights

2010-12-05T17:51:00.001-08:00

Neon Graveyard - Las Vegas, NV

Orange, green, purple. Orange, green, purple... I see your three lights on a string twinkle from your quiet little apartment window that only looks out upon the narrow dirty alley. It is enough to make me wonder what made it worth it.

Others' words.

2010-12-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying a clear morning break after days of rain and gray. I love the dark days and the rain, but the sunny Berkeley morning is nice too.

My friend Valya posted one of our harsh photos on her blog and wrote a great bit of prose that summarizes our work. I highly recommend you visit her blog. Her work can be soft and sensual or rough with jagged sharp edges, and everything in between. Her words are important and used sparingly to keep from overstating the point. One of my goals is to work with her again in the next year. She is a true artist.

Alex wrote a powerful post on erotic imagery, pornography, and a potentially new form of racism. I guess one purpose of art is to push boundaries and expose truths in society. Too bad some of those truths still live.

Remembering Avedon

2010-11-29T10:45:00.000-08:00

Richard Avedon - SFMoMA 2009

Dr. L wrote a great post about the nude in both fashion and art photography and how the lines have blurred. She mentioned one of my favorite photographers, Richard Avedon. I've written about him a bit, so I will spare you of my verbose ramblings on him, but below are a couple of great sites to visit.

The Fraenkel Gallery - This is a great sampling of Avedon's fashion photos, including the famous Natasha Kinski/snake nude.

Richard Avedon - Dark and Light - Here is the first of nine segments of the great documentary about Avedon.

...

2010-11-29T04:30:00.000-08:00

Candace Nirvana - 112910

We must have reasons for speech but we need none for silence - Proverb

The recent rain and regional cold snap make me silent and a listener of the quasi-rhythmic cadence of rain on the roof, windows, car, and my mind. It is good to just listen.

I've also been writing when I should be silent and reading. Some things should be left unsaid.

psst... not bragging... but my photos are in a book... and other stuff to chat about.

2010-11-28T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hurray! - My New York stuff is finally in a book. My fellow photographers from the local college and I produced a book of our June trip to New York. We submitted six photos each for the book. You can see some of the great photos of people I've mentioned in this blog, including, Courtney, Mollee, Ron and Andrea. I am proud of my photos and believe my fellow contributors put in their best stuff. Valya and Moon didn't make it, since those photos didn't fit the theme and feel of the book, although a couple were considered. You can read my summary of the New York trip here. You can also read about the tough photo selection process here.

Sorry about yesterday's rant. I am trying to stay away from politics in this blog, but some days are tiresome.

It rained hard yesterday in my area of California. I love seeing how the world looks on a dark rainy day through a wet windshield. It is how the world is.

We drove to Sacramento and went to the newly renovated Crocker Art Museum. If you went to it before the grand re-opening, it was great regional art museum that drew some impressive shows. With the remodel, they doubled exhibit space and have an amazing series of exhibits on African and Asian art, modern and postmodern art, European classics and one of the best western US and California landscapes paintings and sculpture collections. It is well worth the $10 adult admission. The Wayne Thiebaud exhibit was may favorite.

Hogs and Heifers Bar- NYC 2010

Damn it. He is straying into politics again.

2010-11-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

Joshua Tree National Park - 2009

I've been reading the news, blogs of friends, observing life and am getting a bit depressed by the culture wars, government intrusions, war, greed, environmental destruction, and other issue. It feels like we are headed to a boiling point.

I've tried to keep politics out of this blog since I reinvented it unless the issues related to art and photography. Today I make an exception... or not. All this world drama will affect every aspect of life, including art. I wonder where it is all leading to.

The fundamentalist Christians may think we are heading into the end times. The liberals are worried that the Tea Party will set back the social institutions to an equivalent of Afghanistan under the Taliban, but with a corporate Christian domination. The libertarians are up in arms about airport scans. The moderates are feeling left behind by all sides.

Last night I was talking about the last Star Trek movie with a friend and mentioned a few things about how San Francisco changes between now and the 23rd century. My friend asked, "Will they be watching Star Trek at that time?" My answer was, yes, but it will be called the news. The earth in Star Trek is a pretty great place when Romulans or Klingons aren't causing problems. All of the world is a happy globe.

I then thought about history. I bet there is no time in history when drama was not happening and will probably be the same in the 23rd century as well. It just feels more intense right now.

I also looked back at the history from 1930-1990. I came to an interesting conclusion. All of the stuff happening in the 1950s and early 1960s lead to the tumultuous late 1960s and through the era of malaise in the end of the 1970s. The country had the New Deal Democrats in the 1930s and 1940s. We then had the McCarthy/Eisenhower era of the 1950s that lead to the Goldwater conservatives of the early 1960s. We then had Camelot cut short and went to the moon and Vietnam. The country went up in smoke as the baby boomers boomed. They changed our world for better and for worse (more for the better, but not all was good). The dark events of the McCarthy era, the Vietnam War, civil rights, gender equity, and many other issues were building to boiling points and that generation acted out. The country needed a catalyst to get to that time where cultural rebellion sprung up from all areas.

I think we are in that time again, but it is going to be harder than the 1970s. The traditional American culture was not ready for the youth rebellion during those years. They were not able to defend the status quo and so the impact of those movements still live today. The problem we face now is that the opposition learns from prior failures and evolves (or intelligently designs) into a different entity.

Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Paul Rand, and many younger conservatives are succeeding at whipping up a fury of energy for their cause that the 1960s and 1970s status quo couldn't. I think they are ahead of the progressives at this moment in creating a movement. The conservatives are brilliant at building up their empire while the progressives are complacent. Reagan and the GOP were brilliant at this and after coming into power in 1980, they were able to sweep aside so much of the liberal agenda. Clinton tried to make a few changes, but the strong GOP made him a moderate president overall. Bush 2 was headed toward a similar fate. He was a mentally week president that could not muster up support for the GOP agenda... until September 11th. On that date, the GOP gained enough political clout to ram their agenda though again. They didn't use protests. They used corporate power backed by government to do their bidding.

Once President Obama* came into office, the GOP saw they needed to squelch the new "progressives". The "progressives" that brought Obama into the Oval Office were only concerned with electing him, and not what he or the true progressives wanted to achieve**. Once he got there, his star faded and celebrity washed away. The "progressives" that elected him were content in getting him there and grew complacent and the Tea Party came into being. They stirred up the fear and hate base with the simple message of "No Obama". They have nothing on their agenda except that, but that is enough to keep their base fired up and to put Palin in contention for 2012. They have all age groups and are slowly growing their ethnic bases. I believe we may be seeing their equivalent of the liberal uprisings of the 1960s and 1970s.

I also believe the progressives are much better at stirring this type of energy faster and broader than the conservatives. The next two to four years will be the tipping point for whether we will be free or corporate Christian America will be reigning over us.

We are building up for another culture war in our country. It is going to be harder, dirtier, and worse than the 1930s, 1960s-1970s, and Reagans 1980s. Both sides are media savvy, smart, idyllic, and unwilling to compromise. We might think we are on the correct side of the war, but they think they are too.

*I voted for Clinton in the 2008 primaries and I voted for Obama in the general election. He is a brilliant man, cares for our country, and does not make rash decisions. He was also hesitant to make the hard decisions and follow through on tough issues while he had control of the two houses and the White House, like Bush did. I know the Tea Party would have risen up against Clinton if she had won, but I think she would be better at fighting back. We need a smart, scrappy President, not a contemplative, thoughtful one. That is a sad statement, but a true one in my opinion.

** It is obvious that many of Obama's supporters wanted him in office, but were not true progressives, at least in California. How could we elect him and still pass Prop 8, banning gay marriage? Many Americans supporting Obama didn't care about what he and the party wanted to accomplish. The "supporters" wanted a handsome celebrity minority president and to finally pat itself on the back for being post-racial. Sadly, this became evident in these midterm elections when his broad 2008 base ignored him by not voting and didn't support the important changes he, and the Democrats needed to make. They may have doomed him to being a one term president by focusing on him rather than what he believes in and could do with true support.

Fremont District - Las Vegas, NV

2010-11-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

Fremont District - Las Vegas - 2010

We went to Las Vegas last summer to celebrate our anniversary. Even though we stayed in the faux New York New York, we spent much of the time on the old side of the Strip, especially on Fremont Street. I really like the old side of Vegas and saddened a bit that they renovated a big chunk of it into a big outdoor mall. I guess it helped save the area though and keeps tourists visiting that side compared to the mega casino side of the Strip, where our hotel was.

El Cortez Hotel - Las Vegas - 2010

The El Cortez Hotel is an old school casino... or old school to me. It has a Subway Sub in it. That is healthiest thing in that place.

Beauty Bar - Las Vegas - 2010

The Beauty Bar (Salon of Beauty) is a great hot spot with a 60's style beauty shop theme inside. They have cheap drinks and the best alternative music in Vegas (or at least the little bit of Vegas I saw.) It is a great little hip place that had youngins and oldins' like me are welcomed. The concerts in the back lot are hot as hell, even on a summer night. Great music.

Lady on the ceiling - Las Vegas - 2010

The ceiling of the renovated covered walking mall is a long screen showing music, dancing and sexy ladies eating cherries. I would guess she is 15 feel tall in that photo, just to give a bit of size perspective. I am not a big fan of this part of the Fremont experience, but it gave me good light to take photos with.

Showgirls - Las Vegas - 2010

God bless the showgirls. There were a number of street performers out there that night, including a few Elvises, mimes, and two beautiful showgirls that put on short routines and posed with the tourists for tips. There is something about fishnets and hot pink boas that seems at home in Las Vegas.

Cowboy in lights - Las Vegas - 2010

I forgot the name of this cowboy and the cowgirl below. They are Vegas landmarks and I am glad they are preserved. The advertising under the cowgirl tells of the modern age of this sin city.

Cowgirl in lights - indeed - Las Vegas - 2010

Emergency Arts - Las Vegas - 2010

Emergency Arts was a bastion of sanity for me. It is a former clinic that houses a number of art galleries and a great little coffee shop that plays old LPs and has delicious healthy sandwiches. As a tourist, it is hard to eat healthy in Vegas. There is a great little museum/display inside honoring the art of burlesque and its history in Nevada entertainment. I will post photos from there at another time.

Dinner Company - Las Vegas - 2010

We were starving by the end of the night and found a great little taqueria open late. It was as bright and colorful inside as the strip. Elvis, the tall black lady dancer, and the little lady in the shot glass looked over our meal from the shelf by our table.

I love Las Vegas. I don't really gamble or take in the big shows, but the little things there are precious gems. This is another great city that I need to get back to. Terrell over at Photo Anthems Blog lives in a great city.

What do you have to say for yourself?

2010-11-24T15:10:00.000-08:00

NYC 112410

There's nothing to writing, all you have to do is sit down at the typewriter and open a vein. - Red Smith

A few recent events have made me write about or explain my photos. I had to write an artist's statement on a series that are part of an exhibition. A week later I had to explain some of my other photos to a few viewers. This is one of my (and many other artists) greatest weaknesses. We are either reluctant to devalue our work by writing about or are lousy at explaining our art.

I recently read an essay by the great photographer Robert Adams titled, Writing from his collection of essays, Why People Photograph. In the essay he shares many of the challenges and reasons artists do not like describing their work.

Photographers seemed so strikingly unable to write at length about what they had made, in fact, that I came to wonder if there was any exception at all, a single case where an artist's writing did not end up making a picture smaller, less complex, less resonant, less worthy of comparison to life.

I have two views on why I don't like explaining my photos. The first is that I don't want to give the viewer preconceived commentary before they view the work. I enjoy hearing critiques where the viewer had a completely unique interpretation of the piece that I had never considered. I may disagree with the interpretation, but I am glad to have heard it.

The second view is that by explaining my art, I didn't do a good enough job creating it.

The main reason that artists don't willingly describe or explain what they produce is, however, that the minute they do so they've admitted failure... ... Characterizing in words what they thought they'd shown is an acknowledgment that the photography is unclear - that it is not art.

If I have to explain that my California Delta series is a statement on the death of the old west and the soulless new world of agriculture/ranching, then why did I even take the photos? I have failed if you can't get that by the titles and the images you see. Wow, how condescending is this paragraph? I basically called my viewers idiots for not "getting" my photos.

Of course if you believe in the merit of your work you reject the accusation of failure that is implied by a request to explain it. In this respect all artists are elitists. They are convinced that some viewers lack patience to see what is clear.

If I showed you my portfolio of truck images without any introduction, you may miss my point. You would maybe see nothing worth a second glance or may have your own unique observations. In that area of confusion is one of the key points of art. The mixture of the viewers individual tastes, experiences, and insights vs. the artist's intent. We must recognize that not everyone will get, yet alone appreciate our art. I've seen Diane Arbus's photos and I neither like, nor fully appreciate their importance. It falls into that area of agreeing to disagree about something.

I had an important breakthrough in my art this weekend. It seemed minor at the moment, but a long-time friend and fellow photographer, Michelle, looked at this photo of Courtney and said, "Karl, your photography has turned. I never expected this from you. It is a new world." I thanked her for the compliment and went on looking at the photos. As I reflect on this topic of explaining art vs. "getting" it, Michelle got it. Most haven't and that is fine.

Photographers, like all artists, choose their medium because it allows them the most fully truthful expression of their vision. Other ways are relatively imprecise and incomplete. Why try the other ways? As Charles Demuth said, "I have been urged... to write about my paintings... Why? Haven't I, in a way, painted them?" Or as Robert Frost told a person who asked him what one of his poems meant, "You want me to say it worse?"

Is there a solution on how to write about my own photography? I am learning a few lessons by looking at other artist's statements and reading key points from Adams' essay.

Experience has shown, however, that the best way to avoid talking about the pictures is to talk about their subjects... If you have to fill the quiet of a picture, the least destructive way seems to be to speak about what was in front of the camera rather than about what you made of it.

Adams' advice is simple and makes sense. Writing about the subject briefly, and giving the viewer a gentle nudge into my art sounds like a gentle comprise. After that, the critics can try discern any meaning, and importance out of the work.

Treatments

2010-11-22T22:22:00.000-08:00

In need of treatment here. My cold lingers. My job is threatened again. Personal issues are boiling over. One salvation is treatments. They are a healing time to get to know what I love.

Here are four treatments of the same photo of Leila. Seeing these makes me want to write her right now and set something up. We will see. As for these photos, I am digging the grain and edge that some have. Click on each for a larger view.

I wrote a book report on Fight Club over at brother blog Hear Me Roar. The book is a great read.

Cul de sacs

2010-11-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Hana and Leila - 111610

The term cul de sac is French for "bottom of the bag." That sounds about right. I went for a walk this weekend in a new neighborhood full of them. It kind of felt like living at the bottom of the bag, the end of a road.

I've been taking stock of my life a bit over the last few weeks. One thing I've done is started identifying my personal cul de sacs. These dead ends are things in my life I don't need to go down any further. Some of them are hopes from my youth, desires that are no longer relevant, artistic pursuits and interests.

DISCLAIMER - I support the LGBT community and want everyone to celebrate their sexuality. I hope everyone has a rich, rewarding sex life. What I am about to say is not my judgment of these groups or their erotic love. It is about my preferences.

When I look back at my images with Leila and Hana, I am now getting a feeling this is a cul de sac.

I took those photos in 2004 and loved looking at them. I appreciated the beauty, the lines, the moment from each image. Hana and Leila shared the gift of their caring, passionate intimacy with me. I was aroused making them and working on them afterward.

Leila and Hana - 111610B

Since 2008, I've had other feelings about sapphic imagery. These changes are due to many reasons. One of the biggest is that I am finding them less and less arousing for my own personal desires. Now when I see these photos, I see the deep attraction Leila and Hana felt for each other and shared off camera as well.

I wrote more about my evolving views on sapphic erotic imagery here (The appeal of sapphos and threesomes), where I go into much greater detail. I fully support others taking these photos, but I think I am done. I have reached the end of that cul de sac and it is time to find other things to photograph.

Photo note - I've used a black and white variation of this photo before. I think the BW version is better, but I like the accent of Hana's red panties. It adds a little pop to this image. I would work with either of these models again... just not together. The lightning struck once, and that was enough. More photos of Hana and Leila.

Take a good look at yourself.

2010-11-14T21:57:00.000-08:00

Andrea - NYC - 0610

You ever wonder how others see you? What do they think of you? How are you perceived? Even those of us not suffering from narcissism must wonder about these questions.

BTW - I am not seeking affirmation, validation or anything particular. I'm just going through a self-reflective period. I am still on a self-imposed break from writing anything deep or profound. Too much big swirl around me and I have to keep my head above water.

Photo note - Andrea on our trip to NYC. You can find more of my photos of her here. She is a great photographer herself and will be an artistic force to be watched.

On break - but a small rant.

2010-11-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

I was sickened to learn TLC has a new show called Sarah Palin's Alaska. My hope is that she will become overexposed and come across as the sexually repressed, elitist (but yet idiotic), fear and hate monger that she truly is.

Here is an interesting Slate article on it. It is a better read than I can write about Ms. Palin's new adventure.

I am not enjoying my break from blogging since it is for me to get caught up in some personal/professional issues. I look forward to sharing images and a words again soon.

Photo note - I don't want to associate my photos with her... so no photos.

On break - condom commercial from France.

2010-11-12T03:35:00.000-08:00

Isleton, CA - 111210

Still on break, but had to share this gem of a condom commercial from France. WARNING-
NSFW

http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/2010/01/27/aides-graffiti-tbwaparis/

In the wind

2010-11-10T04:25:00.000-08:00

Moon - 111010

A woman is a branchy tree and man a singing wind; and from her branches carelessly he takes what he can find. - James Stephens

On break

2010-11-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

Valya - 110810

Work and personal life is really crazy for me and I have to focus on them. I plan to return in two weeks. Please visit the most popular posts listed over on the right side under the heading, "You liked this????". I will also post an occasional photo and quote just to keep something fresh.

Thanks to our veterans. Your service is greatly appreciated.

The quiet reminder of what once was.

2010-11-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

Isleton, CA - 110710

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming

The West was already near death when I was born out here. It died a few years later. No open lands. No unmarked lands. No signs of pre-settlement. No way to go back and see it as the unspoiled virgin beauty it once was. We defiled it. We "owned" it. We killed it. I count myself as part of the "we".

We look back at the early pictures (of the west) and marvel that the sheer size and beauty of the space could have absorbed and hidden for so long the damage done by unrestrained self-interest. Our destiny is to suffer the imprisonment of places like Los Angeles, with its twelve lane "freeways," though whether in this we have the courage to find self -knowledge remains unclear - Robert Adams

We catch ourselves thinking, in the bitterness that can accompany the unexpected sound of an aluminum can bending underfoot, that it would have been merciful if Columbus had been wrong and the world flat, with an edge from which to fall, rather than a circular cage that returns us to our mistakes. The geography seems hopeless. - Robert Adams

In Country

2010-11-04T22:09:00.000-07:00

Delta - 110410

Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment - Henry David Thoreau

Took a field trip to the California Delta. Here are some photos from that little excursion.


Consumnes River Preserve - 110410

Consumnes River Preserve - 110410

Happy Birthday WWST

2010-11-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

She will understand - Happy Birthday WWST

What We Saw Today turns three today. In bloggie world that is... 247 years old. Congrats to UL for keeping the quality high, the beauty ever present, and the sensual sensibilities celebrated. Thanks also for being a friend. It means a lot.

You can learn more about Unbearable Lightness (also known as Dr. Lightness or Dr. L) here. This is an interview with her. She is brilliant.

"Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact"

2010-11-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

"Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact."
-- Marlene Dietrich

I am breaking one of my new rules for this blog. I am straying away from art and photography and am going to write about freedom of speech and sexual health. All of this came from hearing a story on first amendment issues on NPR and then reading a photo/video essay at Slate.com on the differences between the United States and Europe concerning teen condom education and advertisements.

PART 1

Video Game Ad at Ground Zero, NYC - 2010

Here is the story. The Supreme Court is considering a California law that bans the sale of violent video games to those under 18. The proponents use the argument that these games are dangerous and should follow the same restrictions as pornography. The opponents (primarily video game makers) claim this is an infringement of free speech. Many cite the court's decision earlier this year allowing the sale of crushing videos (where animals are tortured, fought, or crushed to death) as potential precedence.

What the fuck is wrong with this country? In that last paragraph we basically equated pornography may equal violent video games but is more offensive and damaging than animal snuff films? I understand two of the issues deal with selling adult content to minors and the third concerns free speech of creating a type of speech that is controversial (and unforgivable in my mind). If the supreme court decides that violent video games can be sold to minors then they are giving the indirect message of sex is worse than virtual graphic killing and/or the sale of products depicting the ultimate animal cruelty.

I support the bans on selling pornography AND violent video games to minors. Both bans are easy to get around with the internet and permissive/absent parenting, but at least there is some legal protection. While the pornography laws have become draconian and suppresses free speech through the evolution of 2257, the original intent has validity.

Once again America has stated, violence is good, sex is bad.

PART 2

Please read and watch the essay on safe sex/condom promotions aimed toward European and American teens. It is an eye opener. Here is the link.

I find the European ads (especially the Netherlands) very interesting, humorous, effective, and refreshing in how they accept teen sexuality. While not promoting it, they want to educate the teen lovers of what to do when the moment arises. The two most interesting bits are on slides 12 and 15. On slide 12 they interview Dutch and American teens about the perception of carrying condoms for both young men and women. On slide 15, you can see a video I watch regularly to inspire me to use condoms. I know not all kids are like that and I know that boy needs love too, but I remember being that brat and never want to be responsible for that brat either.

Ok, back to regular programming. In my next post I will write about something photographic or artistic. Ciao.

More of my writing on these issues.

Stuff about 2257.

Another spin around lessens the meaning of the date

2010-10-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

Wonder Wheel - Coney Island - New York - June 2010

Certain holidays make me nostalgic, especially ones that have childhood memories. Halloween is one of them. I have no desire to go back to my trick-or-treating days though I lament the number of times I've been around the annual cycle to visit it since my childhood.

Sometimes I celebrate every trip around the yearly ferris wheel. This is my 13th time around it in California. I quit trick-or-treating at age 12. I've been in this state longer than I enjoyed the candy years. Thinking about previous Halloween's and the times enjoyed on them, I start to wonder what has magic any more. Christmas lost it about 10 years ago, about the same time as New Years. I enjoy July 4th mostly because it is my brother's birthday, but that firework of a holiday is losing its shimmering brightness. Even my birthdays are feeling dull.

I am not depressed about these diminished dates. I think it may be due to having lived through 41 of them, they have lost their magic. This may be the only time I lament not having kids is that I may have felt the wonder of these days through and with them.

I am learning to celebrate other days. These days have no date attached to them. I celebrate the days I get a massage, get to photograph, get to help out the charity I support, get to make love, get to eat a great dinner with someone(s) special, and get to sleep in late without worries. Holidays have a faded memory of value. I reflect on them more than celebrate or feel excited about them. Maybe it is time to let go of those dates lacking a purpose instead to celebrate and enjoy those that come and go and are forgotten.

Book 'em Danno

2010-10-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

Steve and Danno - Production still

Actor James MacArthur died yesterday. He was best known for his role as Danny Williams on the original Hawaii 5-0. I have two strong memories related to Mr. MacArthur. The first is the divisiveness Hawaii 5-0 caused in my childhood home and the second is a family member's fracas with the late actor.

MacArthur's Danno never had the dark brooding sexiness of Jack Lord's Steve McGarret. His character was McGarret's right hand man. The original Danno (I will write about the newest iteration of the show another time) was quiet, reflective and tough as hell. He did not flash emotions and seemed almost creepy at times. While most women were infatuated with McGarret, my mom had the hots for Danno (along with Robert F. Kennedy and Leonard Bernstein, both of whom she met.)

My mom, brother and I watched the show religiously every week. Being a psychiatric nurse, she would use her analytic mind and try to get into the science and logic of the show. We would discuss motives, characters, and what was realistic and what was fake. I enjoyed those evenings and still get excited when I hear the timpani drum roll that kicks off (arguably) the best tv theme song ever. Even though this show was shared time with mom, it caused a lot of tension in our home.

Intro to Hawaii 5-0

It was not my mom's crush on Danno that bothered my dad. He had his crushes as well and both knew that was normal. My dad refuses to watch dramatic television, especially shows with violence. He always has been that way. He grew up a Quaker in eastern Pennsylvania and has a strong pacifist nature in him. He hates seeing murder being used as entertainment. At the time, Hawaii 5-0 showed more murders than any other television show. It greatly bothered him that mom would encourage us to watch the show. He believed these shows lead to more violence by teaching violence.

Neither my brother, nor I, have become murderers... yet. We watched Steve, Danno, Chin Ho, and Kono kill off lots of baddies. I think it was by discussing the show we were able to analyze the darkness and morality of the issues as well as acknowledge that it was fiction. I don't know if my dad understands or appreciates the enlightened way we watched the show. My mom taught us more about the dark side of human nature while keeping us safe than any other authoritative figure in our lives. I thank my dad though for trying to keep us safe and our minds clear of this dangerous knowledge. He was trying to raise us to be conscientious men.

Even though my mom, brother and I spent many hours with Steve and Danno, it is my dad, and his brother Carl, that makes us connected to the late Mr. MacArthur. It all happened in the 1950's in a bar in western New Jersey.

My dad was home on break from college. He and my uncle Carl, just graduated from high school, snuck out and went to a bar to meet a few friends. The rest of the story varies a bit, depending if it is my dad or my uncle telling it and I will share only the common bits.

While drinking with the group, they noticed another group hanging out in the bar. That group included James MacArthur. According to both sources, certain members in both groups were trying to stir up some drama by telling Carl that MacArthur was insulting his (mom, girlfriend or car - depending who is telling the story). MacArthur's friends were doing the same with him.

At one point, the two met up and all the friends formed a circle. My dad had his brother's back if needed, but knew Carl could handle it on his own. MacArthur and my uncle got in close and started talking in heated terms. At one point, when tensions were getting really high and the first swing was imenant, one asked the other something like, "Is it true you said...?" The other responded, "No, I didn't say that." They both started asking more clarifying questions and soon discovered they had been set up to fight. After the discovery, they both went to the bar and got drunk together.

So, I want to raise a glass and salute James MacArthur for being a rich part of my family's life in two very different ways. I am glad my uncle didn't kick your ass. I am thankful you went onto a successful acting career. Your blue eyes will be missed, especially by mom.

Below are three parts to the episode string when officer Chin was killed. You even get to see Steve cry.

Part 3 Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcm91wmFm4Q&feature=related

New version opening.

Enlightenment vs. Dogma

2010-10-27T23:37:00.000-07:00

SF MoMA - 102810-2

On this date in 1553> Michael Servetus, who discovered the pulmonary circulation of blood, is burned for heresy in Switzerland. History Channel "This Day in History" update.

It is scary how people are still so afraid of science and what we are learning from it. I am not proclaiming against any one faith. I wish though we could be a bit more open minded. I guess that is what separates the "elitists" from the others, openness to being wrong and learning more.

I guess for many ignorance is bliss and dogma is absolute.

Drops from above

2010-10-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Valya - 102710

Drops from the sky fall
Our hearts peer inward for love
Our hands trespassing

Don't spoil it with words

2010-10-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Valya - 102610

I am working on a post inspired by a great essay written by photographer Robert Adams about how difficult photographers find it to write about their own art. It is a very enlightening essay.

With that said, why devalue the image above with words? They just get in the way.

New way to post videos.

2010-10-23T05:17:00.000-07:00

Candace - 102310

Back in May I posted my first video, Piernas Bonitas. My best results came from putting on a private Youtube account and keeping as private since it has nudity (which is a bit youtube no-no). I never had a complaint.

I recently discovered vimeo.com. They have many fine short movies with artistic nudity. Set up was easy and I could set creative commons options. Below is the same movie, but now available at Vimeo. I am going to remove my youtube version tonight.

Piernas Bonitas from Karl B on Vimeo.

Homework - Food Photos

2010-10-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Raw - 102210

I had to do something new for my class this week. I had to photograph tomatoes.

Every week we get different assignments that push us into new directions. This theme for this week is food. My main instructor is a product photographer specializing in wine. His photos are amazing and I highly recommend you visit his site to see his work.

Rick has an incredible eye for detail. He notices everything. After seeing his work, I can see why. Every molecule in the photo has to have a purpose for being there. The amount of pre and post production work needed to create one good food image is huge. The use of color, texture, design, composition, and flavor must blend into an outstanding image.

For this assignment I had to photograph a raw tomato or a group of them. After that I had to photograph a prepared dish with tomatoes. I learned a few things from this. It is hard to make food look good. It is hard to find a perfect background and set of dishes. Rick has thousands of plates and utensils in every color, shape, size and pattern in a warehouse of props. It is really amazing. I had only a few plates and napkins to work with. The plate for the image below is from my picnic basket.

Prepped - 102210

I learned that food stars have stand ins. I used some of the lower quality ingredients to make a mock up and test lighting, composition, presentation and concept. After getting that set up, I brought in the star or hero food and was ready to get that done in as few shots as possible. It is important to get them done fast so the food looks fresh.

Piernas bonitas

I noticed lots of flaws in both sets of photos. I photographed the whole tomatoes on the aqua hood of my truck (the same hood that Andrea graced). I thought I had cleaned the hood, but every bit of lint and dust is highly visible. For the prepared food photos, I had issues of wrinkled napkins, bread crumbs, fingerprints in the cheese balls, and other challenges.

I loved doing this assignment, but learned a lesson. I am not a food photographer. I do not have the attention to detail to make this work become art. Rick will have no competition from me. I enjoyed the creativity of using strobes, reflectors and props to get everything just right. I want to explore using similar techniques, but having male and female models as the subject.

I enjoyed sharing a moment that Brett Weston also experienced. After Edward Weston photographed the famous pepper from Pepper Number 30, Brett ate it. I enjoyed eating my subject as well.

Bon Appetit

Minimal

2010-10-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

Moon - 102010

Do not speak unless you can improve the silence - Proverb

I wonder if the same can be said for art and photography. Do not create unless you can improve on the absence of the art.

The same should go for writing, blogging and all other activities as well. If what I am doing is not improving on the absence of it, then I shouldn't do it. It is better to not plant something in the pixel forest than to have to thin it out later.

Ok, enough rambling.

Photo note - I think the photo above is an improvement over the absence of it. Thanks Moon.

Word - Grace

2010-10-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Grace 1 - Moon

Last year I worked with model Candace Nirvana on part of my Word project. I projected various words on her using an lcd projector and she used her body, expression, and creativity to give life to them, This summer I did the same thing with Moon. Today's word is grace.

Grace - According to Dictionary.com

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

3. favor or good will.

4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.

5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.

6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.

Divine Grace - According to wikipedia

In Christianity - a theological term which is present in many and varied spiritual traditions. It is God's gift of salvation granted to sinners for their salvation. However, there are significant differences between the way people of different traditions use the word.
Grace 2 - Moon
In Hinduism - grace (kripa) is the ultimate key required for spiritual self-realization. Some, such as the ancient sage Vasistha, in his classical work Yoga Vasistha, considered it to be the only way to transcend the bondage of lifetimes of karma. One Hindu philosopher, Madhvacharya, held that grace was not a gift from God, but rather must be earned.

From a nontheist, naturalist, and rationalist perspective, the concept of divine grace appears to be the same nonexistent concept as luck.

Sexual/Sensual/Erotic Grace - no such term exists... yet. I researched these term and found articles detailing how engaging in certain sexual endeavors can cause one to fall from grace. I found an interesting article explaining how the conservative politicians caught in sexual scandals are humans and should try to be better, but their peccadilloes do not warrant them being thrown out.

Most of the writing I found don't put sex and grace together, unless they are at odds with each other. As C.S. Lewis wrote.:

The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing and spoiling sport, and back-biting, the pleasures of power, of hatred. For there are two things inside me, competing with the human self which I must try to become. They are the Animal self, and the Diabolical self. The Diabolical self is the worse of the two. That is why a cold, self-righteous prig who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than a prostitute. But, of course, it is better to be neither.

Grace 3 - Moon

So, what is sexual grace? I think it would include the intent and aesthetic nature of sex. It would involve parts of the secular definitions blended with a bit of the spiritual. I think sex can cleanse, baptize, and can be redemptive and healing. It can also "be the only way to transcend the bondage of lifetimes of karma."

The definition for Sexual grace should also include "elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action, a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment, and favor or good will."

As with all new terms, it will take time for culture and norms to refine meaning. For now though, I hope everyone receives, shares, extends and attains sexual grace. (can I get an "amen")

Photos note: Thanks Moon. You will see more of her and our words in the future.

Clip Show - good articles, short movie review

2010-10-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Valya - 101810

Silence is the safest course for any man to adopt who distrusts himself - François de la Rochefoucauld

Work is killing me right now. In lieu of my little ramblings, I offer up a plentiful helping of some interesting reads from other sources.

Finding your inner bigot. Even though we vehemently deny them, we all have deeply seeded prejudices that may come out in very subtle ways. Very interesting article about these buried traits. I know I have a few to work through.
The blurring edges between blogs and web magazines.
Helen Mirren Has a Gun: The scarier side of Helen Mirren. (Includes slide show of the eternally beautiful and sexy Dame Mirren.)
Meg Whitman (Republican running against Jerry Brown for CA governor) and Carly Fiorina (Republican running against Barbara Boxer for US Senate) shun a California GOP rally featuring Mama Griz uber alles, Sarah Palin. I recently heard that among all California voters, Sarah Palin has a 58% unfavorable rating. I guess being connected to Palin may be poison in the Golden State.
Finally - A great Magnum photo essay on "Let's do the Twist".

I watched The Men Who Stare at Goats last night. It is a light comedy with some interesting views on soldiers, war, blind faith in causes, and super powers. Kevin Stacey, George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges play their parts well. This is not a paradigm changing war movie. It is just a funny movie that left me with some interesting questions. Men Who Stare... is worth a view if it comes on cable and Netflix (currently available through instant queue).

Welcome to a new week.

PHOTO NOTE: Valya exudes a powerful, quiet erotic allure. I really need to get back to New York to work with her again.

Winter

2010-10-14T04:54:00.000-07:00

Winter on Yellowstone River

A little while ago I wrote a post about why autumn is fave rave of seasons. UL wrote a follow up on both autumn and winter. Her winter post asked, "What is winter for?" I wrote a comment for her that post and she recommended I post it here as well.

Lines to Her Heart (Photographed on a cold day in late November)
We are having a very warm October in northern California. It is supposed to be 91 in SF today, which is a novelty to me (I've lived here for 13 years). I am hoping to go up to the Napa/Sonoma wine country this weekend to see the grape vines changing colors.

As for winter, maybe it is my dark side, but it is my second favorite season. I love the short days, long nights, angular sun, rain/snow, bare trees, cool days and cold nights. I love skiing (both types) and breathing in the cold air into my lungs. I love walking in the snow (something I miss since moving from Montana) and hearing the crunch of it under my feet. There is nothing more peaceful than walking during a quiet snow fall.

I find winter very erotic and sensual. The red of the wines, the glow of the fire, the warm food, and the need to be beside someone. The long nights give us time to explore each other without feeling guilty of missing daylight playing and chores. All of these put me much more in the mood than spring flowers and bright days.

Maybe another reason I love fall is that it is the foreplay for my winter. Who doesn't love a whole season of foreplay?

I lost my virginity in winter, fell in love for the first time in winter, and also lost a friend in winter (see link below.) Winter is not subtle in its attributes or what we humans do during it, at least not for me.

Below are some links to other posts I wrote about winter. At the bottom is a zen video showing both the beauty and solitude of winter, and one young man's life during it.

The beauty of cross country skiing.

The story of a friend's suicide on a cold January day.

Better not said

2010-10-13T05:49:00.000-07:00


Courtney - 101310 - 1

“Silence is the true friend that never betrays.” - Confucius

Contemplating things... not too profound. Enjoy a few photos of Courtney.

Courtney - 101310 -2

Into the light

2010-10-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

Elyse -101010

Elyse - 101010

I photographed a new model last week. Elyse is a daughter of a friend and offered to help on my color assignment for my class. We had to create three photographs with a person, object, and place while keeping an eye on three different types of color palettes (9 total photos). The color palettes were monochromatic (different shades of the same color), analogous (neighbors on the color wheel), and complimentary (opposites on the color wheel).

She was fun to work with. We experimented with what emotions and feelings color elicits from us. I then projected the colors on her. Feeling and sharing an emotion can be a challenge, especially for new aquaintences. Elyse opened up and shared.

We then had a challenge when we had two or three colors and tried blending emotions. To prepare this, I photographed her in one color, then the other, so she could get into the individual moods. At the end, I put both colors on her and had her blend the feelings. My favorite blend was purple (arrogance) and green (envy).
It is fun to play with color and emotions. Good painters and photographers know how important color is. So do advertisers. Each color has a purpose for being there, whether it is accuracy in depiction of the scene or to elicit emotions, the creator put it there for a reason.

Joe Crachiola is a brilliant photographer who is a master at finding the perfect colors in a photo to accentuate the content, context, and theme. I highly recommend going to his blog to see his work and read his posts. He is a true artist in both photography and sharing his written observations of life.

I've been de-saturating photos lately so only a kiss of the color is there or the photo goes to pure black and white. One exception is my work with Valya and Moon where I projected a red spray painted wall photo on them and then had them get into their own mind space for each photo. The visual punch of red streaking around their naked bodies is a harsh violence that makes their expressive poses that much harder to look at.

Working with rich saturated colors was a treat. I am not sure if this will become a part of my style, but I am slowly mastering a new tool. Thank you Elyse. I hope we work together again. You were fantastic!

WARNING - Dangerous Scam Photographer - WARNING

2010-10-08T23:51:00.000-07:00

My friend and model, Valya, told me of a model/photographer horror story during our shoot. She had recently worked with a guy who stole money from her, refused to pay her, and also touched her inappropriately at the end of the shoot. She reported him to Model Mayhem, the FBI, and other agencies.

Today, Valya posted at her blog that the creep has popped up again and is seeking models in the Virginia and Washington DC area. He uses various aliases. At the bottom of this post is the information that he is using for his solicitations. Please visit her blog (link here) for her contact information if you have any questions about this.

Every model I've worked with has been a gift, and Valya stands with the best of them. She is a true professional who brought her "A+" game to our session. She is also a genuinely nice person. It angers me that someone did this to her and many other models as well.

Our community of photographers and models is special and we look out for each other. PLEASE CONTACT THE FBI IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THIS GUY.

Below is the text I copied from Valya's blog.
Please be aware of this man who victimizes females who model nude:

his emails:
peekture.taker@gmail.com
fotovisionz@gmail.com
fokusfoto@gmail.com
cgarbiano@verizon.net
female.photographer@gmail.com
(last two emails he is pretending to be a female photographer named Jami or Carol, and/or it's a female accomplice)

his cell #'s:
804-435-5090
804-247-2801

some previous aliases:
Jim Hines
Jay Hanes
John
Carol Garbiano
Jami
Fokus Foto
FokusFoto
PeektureTaker (his recent myspace handle, prior to which it was fokusfoto)

Please pass this on and and feel free to contact me if you would like more information.
Stay safe,
Valya

Thanks to all. Treat each other well and be careful.

"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

2010-10-08T05:15:00.000-07:00

Courtney - 100810

"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

I overheard that during a critique. It was not directed at me, but it could have been. As I swim deeper into the art world I am noticing a few common character traits among artists. The first trait is a sense of self aggrandizing of the artist's work and the second is a jealousy of other artist's success.

As I grew up, my parents showered compliments on anything I created. They wanted to encourage my creativity. Every picture I drew was beautiful and every concert I played in was amazing.

The first time I received criticism on my music or art came in ninth grade. I took both art and band. Both teachers were trained in their field and were very accomplished in their talents. Both teachers wanted to encourage us and gave us time to develop, but also made sure to let us know where we could do better. It was tough hearing the truth, "Karl, sounds like you didn't practice or put much effort into it. Is that true?" Tough feedback pissed me off, especially when it was true.

When you take art in college, you had better get used to the critique. Most students, but not all, are easy on each other. The professors are much tougher. Most of the time I admitted the faults of the work and learned how I could do better. Once in a while though I got defensive and stood up for my art. "I did it right. You are seeing it wrong." That is a common mantra in my mind during critique. I bet it is the same one for many artists.

As we develop, we grow our own artistic styles. We choose our tools, tonal palette, media, materials, subject matter, angles, and aesthetic that speaks to and from our artistic soul. As a tuba player, I live for playing Bach. I come alive as I play the contrapuntal bass line that completes the harmonies and gives it a foundation for the whole piece and ensemble. I don't really care for marches since the tubas only exist to keep the rhythm (Except for some of Sousa's marches. Listen to the tuba line in Stars and Stripes Forever (check out the video at 1:29). You can also see the great tradition of when the brass (trumpets, trombones, baritones, and tuba) stand up for the last chorus. I don't know where the tradition started, but it makes the march come alive at the end.)

I know most artists do not find an appreciative audience who truly understand their work. They continually have to put up with "that's nice" from family and either silence, obscurity or criticism from the public. With out that support, the artist has only two choices - fight for their art or drop it. To remain an artist, he/she must fight for it, believe the art is important, be open to suggestions, but in the end know it is his/her art.

This self defensive wall is a big challenge in critiques. It is important to listen to the criticism and decide how to improve the art. At what point do you say to the the critic, "You just don't get it." ? When do you defend your art?

This need to believe in the importance of your art pushes most artists into the second issue, creative jealousy. I've seen this jealousy in myself and others manifest in different ways.

The first is a jealousy of another artist's work. Your colleague created something so amazing that you kick yourself for not having done it first. Maybe he or she was working on something similar to your work but took it to another level or direction and created masterpieces. I always ask myself, "Why didn't I think of that?" I feel deflated when I see that and wonder whether I should even try doing my work anymore because it has been done better by another. I also feel anger since as I begin to feel they took my idea and went further with it. At some point though I have to realize that unless they actually stole my idea, it is done and I have to learn and move on.

The second type of jealousy comes from seeing others get opportunities and recognition for their work that you feel is no better than your own. A month or so ago I found out a friend had orchestrated a major multi-artist exhibit and print edition. She knew I had worked in the same theme with the same exact materials. For some reason (and to be honest, I haven't asked) I was not considered for the collaboration. I've seen a few pieces from the collection and know my work is as good or better. She even notified me about it after it was done (that felt like a deep cut) so I could contact the people involved since I knew a few of them (and that was salt for the cut).

I felt a deep jealousy and anger toward all involved. I've supported their art and felt betrayed. After reflecting on it I came to a sadder conclusion. I wasn't betrayed or purposefully excluded. I was either forgotten or didn't even pop into the group's consciousness as a consideration. It wasn't that I was cast to the side - I wasn't even considered. It may have been my lack of a name in the community or not having enough ties, but in the end I wasn't even noticed.

My friend James is a writer. He has had a number of essays and short stories published, but his first novel (a truly great read that needs to get published) keeps getting rejected. James is a bit more zen than I am. He believes it will get published by the right publisher at the right time. He has a collection of the rejection letters and plans to burn them when his book gets published.

This type of jealousy burns deep and I have to figure out how to deal with it in healthier way like James does. He believes in his novel and knows it will get out there when the right opportunity opens up and he seizes it.

After reflecting on these two traits, my belief in the following statements grows deeper. The last three I learned from Duane Michals. I don't know where the first came from.
1. Luck is when opportunity meets ability.
2. Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important.
3. Don't go against your intuition.
4. Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.

Autumnal and Avuncular

2010-10-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

Autumnal Foothills

Autumnal and Avuncular - I love those two words. They describe so many things.

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life. ~P.D. James

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George Eliot

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. ~Stanley Horowitz

Autumn is my favorite season. My favorite colors live warmly inside the fall color palette. The lengthening nights and angular sun light makes every thing more brilliant and beautiful. I enjoy getting out my jackets and feeling the cool, crisp air. Many feel spring is the birth and growth season. I feel that in the fall. I feel most alive in these magic months. One of my best trips abroad came during autumn.

I am the avuncular presence in many lives. I am not the father, the brother, or the friend. I am the slightly off center authority figure that is more of a source of wisdom than a source of discipline. While I like to think I can be an authority figure, I am happy being the counsel on the side. My only requirement is that if you seek out my counsel, you listen. You don't have to take it, but just listen to me.

Tonight I am going to find a coffee shop in San Francisco's Castro district while I wait to pick somebody up from the airport. I look forward to sitting back and looking at SF and its beautiful people in their Autumnal clothing and moods.

Here is a link to a Magnum photo essay honoring Fall.

Too many words...

2010-10-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Moon - 100610

I've been blathering a bit too much and producing too little. One of my former bosses, Nancy, gave me some great advice on public speaking.

Be brilliant.
Be brief.
Be gone.

Follow those three simple rules in public speaking and the audience will love you. In honor of Nancy, here are a few pics. I am not sure this post hits the first goal, but the last two can be checked off.

Here is an old post that mentions the difference between howling and just barking. Time to stop just barking.

"You can't handle the truth!" 100610

Miss Mollee and her skinny, little, white friend - 100610

To air brush is human

2010-10-05T04:01:00.000-07:00

Liberty Island - 100510

I can't remember when I first heard the term air brush as part of photography. It may have been in reference to a movie poster or Playboy photo layout. The term had both positive and negative aspects, but either way it means it is moving toward a lie or a fiction.

According to Wikipedia -

Airbrushing has long been used to alter photographs in the pre-digital era. In skilled hands it can be used to help hide signs that an image has been extensively retouched or "doctored".

As a result of Stalin's purges, and later destalinization, many photographs of officials from the periods show extensive airbrushing, often entire people have been removed. The term "airbrushed out" has come to mean rewriting history to pretend that something was never there. In contemporary academic discourse, the process of removing components from an image is formally known as object removal.

The term "airbrushed" or "airbrushed photo" has also been used to describe glamour photos in which a model's imperfections have been removed, or in which their attributes have been enhanced. The term has often been applied in a pejorative manner to describe images of unrealistic female perfection and has been particularly common in reference to pictures in Playboy, and later Maxim. [Emphasis mine]

That last paragraph summarizes the yin\yang of this technique. Are we enhancing a photo or creating a lie, or both? It depends on the intent.

The term airbrushed has faded in recent years in favor of the terms photoshop or photoshopped.

The term originates from Adobe Photoshop, the image editor most commonly used by professionals for this purpose.

... photoshop is widely used as a verb, both colloquially and academically, to refer to retouching, compositing (or splicing), and color balancing carried out in the course of graphic design, commercial publishing, and image editing. - Wikipedia

As with airbrushing, photoshopping has both positive and negative connotations. I always hear references to it in class. "Oh, you can photoshop that out." "Did you photoshop that cloud?" "Her skin is so smooth. How much photoshopping did that take?"

I never learned the craft of air brushing. I am a novice in Photoshop. I am pretty proficient in Adobe Lightroom, which enables me to smooth skin, enhance clarity, and clone out imperfections. As I learned this application I had to set my personal aesthetic for the tool. Here are my rules.

I shall not remove or add objects. (Telephone poles, people, tattoos, furniture, etc.)
I will lightly touch up physical appearances. (Remove pimples, rashes and other temporary blemishes. Lighten eyes. If smoothing skin, very little correction, if at all)
I will play with saturation, color, contrast, etc as much as I want, but it will not be in a effort to cosmetically improve the subject. It is more for mood and message.
I have the right to break these rules, if, and only if, my intent is to create a fiction and note it in the artist statement for the piece or series. The further from the truth, the greater the need to acknowledge the alteration.

One models refused to work with me because I do not smooth skin. I do not hide age. I do not accentuate these things either, but if they are present, they will be in my photo. If a model can not accept their own "imperfections" then they should cover them with clothing, wear make up, or move on to another photographer. The only times I will do heavy skin modification is in relationship to rule number 4 OR if the model or a client is paying me to take these photos and need a certain look. In that case, they get the look they want.

Why am I a stickler on keeping it natural? I want the world to see the natural beauty of humans, buildings, nature, etc.. If we can't acknowledge our wrinkles, acne scars (I've got them), TB shot scars, and other "imperfections" then we have little right to criticize the mass advertising world for doing the same in fashion/glamor photos. We are all vane and want to look our best. If you want to look your best, either hire me and direct me or move on to a photographer who will give you the photoshop botox you feel you need. If I am creating the image for me and my art, you need to be comfortable in your own skin. You already live in it.

You can find more of my soap box rants on this subject here.

Here is a link to a recent post at Hear Me Roar about the use and abuse of statistics. It mentions anal sex... I thought that would get your attention.

Clip Show

2010-10-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Not good enough for consideration, even if it was in Black and White. - Candace

We are ending the summer television drought. The reruns are disappearing and the new season is beginning. Dr. L wrote a fun piece about crime shows over at WWST.

I just wrote a post about being demonized for being a sexual male over at Hear Me Roar. I highly recommend you read the editorial I reference in the post, Why Do We Demonize Men Who Are Honest About Their Sexual Needs? by Clarisse Thorn. It explains my point far better than I did.

As for this blog, I am working on the fall (for me) of a photographic god, building a new art community, and my continued studies in photography. They should be spilling out pretty soon.

It's weird that photographers spend years or even a whole lifetime, trying to capture moments that added together, don't even amount to a couple of hours. ~James Lalropui Keivom

Doesn't that pretty much sum up life as well? When I am on my deathbed, I won't remember the decades of detritus, I will remember the those bits of life that made it mean something. Why should photography be any different?

When you photograph people in colour you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in B&W, you photograph their souls! ~Ted Grant

I disagree. I could say that when you photograph a person in B&W, you photograph their shape, texture and contours. When you photograph someone in color, you photograph the life they put into their shape texture and contours. Someone I know thinks black and white nudes can be art, but color ones can't. I think these people have their preferences and can live with them. Their preferences shouldn't be the only preferences for all.

A moment of solitude

2010-09-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

Valya - 092910

Sometimes we all need to be alone. We shut out all the unneeded and only focus on ourselves. For some, it is a stress relief. For others, it is a way to cleanse our mind, body and spirit and celebrate a unique and personal gift.

Tough

2010-09-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

This photo of Courtney shows another side of her true self. She is tough as hell. As I mentioned in an earlier post, she enthusiastically worked with me through the session while nursing a freshly sliced and glued finger. Courtney is tough in many ways. She is kind, sweet and cares, but she is not a push over. Her art is tough too. I am hoping to work with her again this weekend.

On the topic of being tough, I wrote a short piece over at my other blog, Hear Me Roar, about the important lessons I learned from getting my ass kicked . Sometimes defeat is the best teacher.

Simple lessons need no words

2010-09-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles - Robert Frank

I found this little video by accident. Its little message about the meaning of life needs no words. Please watch it to the end and share your comments and thoughts.

Fallen from Sascha Geddert on Vimeo.

Awkward photos

2010-09-24T23:31:00.000-07:00

Courtney 092410 -1A

I like photos that make the viewer feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable. This photo I took of Courtney makes me feel that way. Out of all the photos I took of her, this one keeps bringing me back.

Her pose, expression, youth, innocence, vulnerability, and demeanor gave this photo a depth and message of discomfort that I appreciate more each time I see it. I am glad she didn't over act the moment.

My photographing her from above (I'm 6'4" and she is 5'2") towers over her. With that aspect, that puts the viewer into a role beyond being just an observer. What does her body language say about that?

So many other elements add richness (in my humble opinion) to this photo: her red hair, her chipped blue finger nails, her hair blowing across her face, her necklace, the angular, harsh light. All of these elements add to contextual points that have different meanings to me depending on my mood and what I am looking for.

I am curious if you find anything in this photo. Do you find different things in the black and white version below? If you do, do you care to share?? I have a tough skin and take criticism as well.

By the way, Courtney is well over 18. I am honored she liked this one and put it in a Facebook album. You can see some more of our work at this post.

PHOTO NOTE: Courtney is one tough lady. She is hiding her left hand ring finger under her lapel because it is wrapped in a huge bandage. Three hours before the photo session, she got an inch and half cut and the doctors glued it shut and bandaged it. She had throbbing pain from it if she held her hand below her heart. She never complained during the session. She swore once when she whacked her finger against a door frame. I appreciate her dedication to helping me get the photos I needed for school, and this one. I needed it for my art. Sometimes art hurts.

Courtney 092410 -1A

Smokin'

2010-09-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Courtney - 092310 - 1

What is it about watching people smoke that is so damn sexy? Is it the sensual breathing, the smoke entering and then exiting their core? This sexiness of smoking is not just of women. One of the biggest draws for the great show Mad Men is the all the smoking, both the men and the women.

I recently worked on a photo assignment for my new class. The assignment was to photograph accessories as part of a portrait. We looked at a set of examples the instructor prepared. Most were beautiful images, but didn't inspire me. I saw examples of accessories that included necklaces, hair, piercings, masks, and other bits of bangles and baubles. None of them inspired me and I wanted to photograph something sensual and sexy.

Courtney - 092310 -2

Last Sunday I met with all the other photographers I went to New York with to work out the photos for our book. I talked with my friend Courtney, a gifted artist and fellow student, as she was smoking. I knew then that I had found the right accessory for her portrait. After some brief chatting we worked out a location and date and got these photos.

Thanks to Courtney. You are an artist and a muse, and you amuse.

My future commute

2010-09-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

NYC AHOLE - 091810

I have a two and half hour commute every day. I chose to work where I do and to suffer the commute. I ride a bus most days and prefer it to driving. This commute has become a major part of my life and I am trying to find meaning in it. I haven't yet. Until I do, I can always dream of a commute like in the video.

Better than a flying car.

John and Paul - the power of two... who was the muse?

2010-09-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

My Dynamic Duo

It is a crazy day in my life. Work, photography, life. They all are sucking my time. I took a moment to read the first segment on a new series at Slate.com on the power of creative pairings. The first dynamic duo they look at is Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Please read it before going on with this post.

I find it fascinating how both added so much and needed so much from their relationship. They both needed to be in charge, but they did it in different ways. The quote from Mick Jagger about why he and Keith have worked together for so long while John and Paul split is also very interesting. The writer of the series also asks if dynamic pairs' relationships must have extended longevity. For some, Mick and Keith, yes. For John and Paul, no.

I think that is true of all types of relationships. Some of the best friendships, romantic relationships, etc., I've enjoyed were short lived. On the other hand, I do love the long lasting ones too. I am glad I haven't had too many powerful relationships that ended way too soon or lasted way too long. I am like Goldilocks, I want the one that is just right.

Now back to dynamic duos. Many in the art community write about muses. I've had a few. Almost every model I've been blessed to work with were my muses. Some of those relationships lasted a few hours, others are still inspiring. Maybe after reading this article and hopefully the whole series, I will have a new appreciation for the creative relationship that the arts give us. So, here is the question I have about John and Paul's relationship, who was the muse? I think it was Paul.

Hear Me Roar

2010-09-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Not Good Enough - Candace Nirvana 2009

It is time to start a new thing. It is time for a new blog.

A few weeks ago I almost burned down this blog, the Photo Fermata. I was very frustrated with it and where it was going. I wrote a great big good bye post. I even set it up that after that, the blog would be all black with just photos and text. I wanted to burn down my tree in the pixel forest and leave its burned out hulk as all that was left of it. I also started planning a new blog that would explore things that I didn't feel fit into this one. From that inspiration, I created my new blog, Hear Me Roar.

Before you go off and click on that link, I suggest you read the first post to it by clicking on this link. Here is the intro to the new blog that I wrote in the first post over there.

Through out history the role of man in terms of gender, identity, roles, entitlements, crime, power, survival, sexuality, and many other areas continues to evolve and change to meet the standards and culture of the day. Overall, I am a much different man than my great grandfather due to cultural changes and personal choices. Even though I am my own modern man and am not completely the same as men in the past, I believe there are core rules, beliefs, and wired-in truths for men.

What is a real man? I can be full of bullshit, but it is impossible to answer that question in one post. That is the purpose of this new blog, Hear Me Roar. It is my exploration of masculinity, musculism, the male role in gender, male sexuality and male stereotypes and generalizations. This blog will be a sounding board and experimental forum for my future work during my MFA program.

As you can see, that is a topic I've mentioned here and there in this blog, but have not really gone too deep into. It will not be a pretty blog. I plan to look at the the beauty and the ugly of men, masculinity and what we are. It will be graphic and crude at times through exploration, exposition and even exploitation of various things. It will not always be a shock ride, because that would be a disservice to men.

I encourage you to give it a read. Not all things I put there reflect my belief unless I state otherwise. I put those things there to expose all thoughts on the modern man and let you think about what is true and false, right or wrong. I encourage comment, debate, and argument. Tell me if what I put is bullshit or truth or something in between.

I don't expect anyone who reads the Photo Fermata to become followers. You were attracted to this blog for a reason and Hear Me Roar is not this blog.

What is the future of the Photo Fermata?
I enthusiastically plan to continue this blog. This blog focuses on art and life and how I see things through my camera. I still love this blog and appreciate all the followers and commentators. I need this blog as an outlet and inspiration for my photography. This blog is not going away until I feel it has lived its life and needs to be shut down. Today is not that day.

"It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."

2010-09-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

Movie still - The Godfather

It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business. - Michael Corleone to Sonny - The Godfather (see movie clip below)

When in doubt, take it personally - Ollie

Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important.
Don't go against your intuition.
Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.
- Duane Michals

I need to tip-toe around this topic since some of the parties involved may read this. I recently heard of a photo project that some acquaintances completed. A few of the key people in it knew I had a strong history with very similar projects, especially with this subject, material and theme. I know they've seen my work and it is as good as the stuff I've seen from the project. For some reason though no one thought to tell me about it or ask me to join.

At first I was furious. How dare they do something they know I have done in the past and have very strong work to contribute. Are they running a good old boys/girls club on this? Did I alienate myself from their group? How could they forget me?

After stewing on this perceived slight, I went to the final meeting of my NYC travel group to choose the final photos for our book and exhibition/gallery showing. We each put up our top two or three dozen images and had to narrow it down to six for the book and three for the exhibit (the book and exhibit could overlap). I had four themes for my photos, Sex in the City, On the Sidewalks, In the Museums, and The Usual Suspects (The usual sights of the city.) Our instructor, Ron, facilitated the redaction exercise. We went as a group and chose the final six and three for each person. The individual photographer had a major say concerning his/her own choices, but we had to look at it as a complete book of 16 photographers and how all the photos would work together.

We came to my images second and they were ruthless. Ron and others were saying things like:
"This one doesn't interest me. "
"Cliche."
"No point to this photo"
"This doesn't say anything about NYC."

I got quiet and softly said, "Ouch." Ron then said, "Look, we want the best book we can make. The critique and selection process is hard, but that is how it is. If you ever hear art and photo directors for magazines and books during their selection process, it is ruthless. If you are looking at getting an MFA, you had better get used to this type of moment, because it will be 100 times tougher and happen all the time."

We got down to my final six images. I was hurt that a few others were not selected, but see how these six work together and were actually some of my favorites from the beginning. It hurt, but it worked. From that moment on though, I chose to be ruthless in my opinions of the others' work if I felt it did not live up to what should be their six best. It's strictly business getting the best book. It isn't personal.

That is the rub though. Art is personal. When others critique and pull out my favorite photos, it feels like they are ripping a part of me out as well. In my cold rational mind, I understand appreciate the role of redaction in selecting a body of work. I wrote two long posts about it in July.

In that instant, I learned two things that lead to a tie-in to the original issue.

Redaction is crucial. Only the best should be shown.
If I am going to go into this for a new career, I need to get a thicker skin and be able to defend my work better when presenting it.

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com
After thinking about those two lessons, I looked at our group photo from the trip taken with the great photographer Duane Michals and I remembered his wise words.

Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important.
This quote truly applies to the art world and business. No one gives a fuck about me, my work, and how I feel about it. We wanted the best book. The images chosen from my group may not be all my best, but they work best for the book.

The same goes true for the acquaintance who did not bother to ask me to participate in her project. In all likelihood, she forgot about me or if she had thought of me, I didn't have the cache, history, portfolio, and prior body of work to part of her project. It probably was business on that decision, and personal friendships should not have any part of business. She and her peers are not in business to do me a favor unless I can offer them something back of value as well. In other words, they really don't give a fuck about me.

Now what I have to figure out is how I can be included in the next project and find out why I wasn't considered for this one. From that I will learn and be ready for future opportunities. It may not be with them, and it may be a better one.

Don't go against your intuition.
I had obviously chosen the final 6 photos as part of the larger group I presented. Some part of me told me to include them and the rational part of me knew that any 6 could have been chosen. The final 6 are good and I am proud of them. My intuition was right.

My intuition about my work that is very similar, and probably in the same league or better than the stuff I've seen in the project I was not included in tells me they missed an opportunity for some great stuff of mine. That is my fault for not putting myself out their more, not theirs. In a way, it is their loss, but not really. My work is probably meant to be somewhere else and they got what they wanted.

I know what is good of my work. Nobody else gives a fuck about it or me, unless I get out there with it and force them to look at it. Most will say no. A few will say yes. The important thing to remember is: It's not personal, [Karl]. It's strictly business. That is how I will view your role with my work as well. You are just business when it comes to my art.

Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.
That pretty much sums up the other two quotes. I just have to do it. Everything else is bullshit.

SPECIAL NOTE: Thanks to Ron and crew for the great trip, experiences and for the creative project. We created some good stuff. By the way, I do give a fuck about your stuff.

The Eyes Have It

2010-09-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

Moon - 091210

In a recent post over at What We Saw Today, How We Evaluate Ourselves, the good doctor quotes Robert Adams' Beauty in Photography. There is one small part of the quote I feel is key to good art.

Finally, I think the success of a work can be measured not only in its freshness and the diversity of the elements it reconciles, but also by the apparent ease of its execution. An artwork should not appear to have been hard work. I emphasize appear because no artwork is easy to make. - [emphasis mine]

If you are showing me your photos that you worked on or are in, you may not like my feedback. I will tell you what works and doesn't work for me as tactfully as possible. One area though I tend to be harsh on is the obvious overuse of tools to doctor photos. The first place I look for these issues is in the eyes of the subject.

Back in the 1988 I took my first photography class during my undergrad years. We learned how to develop and print black and white film. The instructor taught us about using filters, simple tools, and other techniques to fix contrast, dark/light spots, and other issues to make our prints better. In one photo I had a person who wore a hat on a sunny day. Most of the detail in his face was lost in the shadow. I tried to dodge the face to keep some detail, yet have the rest exposed for the correct time. On the first print the face looked white and the subject had a light halo around his head. The next try wasn't any better. I went through so many sheets of paper trying to get the dodge down right and I never quite succeeded. I should have used a reflector to bounce light back onto his face when I took the photo. That experience taught me two key rules in photography.

Since then I got much better at my darkroom technique. I also learned the golden rule of photography that applies to both digital and film - thou shalt get the image into thy camera as close to perfect as possible. This golden rule has an auxiliary admonishment - tricks are for kids (thanks Uncle Ron, photo guru, for that quote). This auxiliary teaches us that not all images are salvageable. If it can not be fixed cleanly, learn from what went wrong and make sure you get the image right next time.

All photographers should strive for getting the image right when taking it. I know sometimes the moment is so crucial to catch that we have to sacrifice perfection to get it though. Even then, if that photo requires too much effort in post production to make it work, it isn't worth it. A true craftsman (what is the gender neutral term for craftsman?) of any trade wants the work to come out right with little need to for touching it up after making it.

With all that said, I appreciate photographers who incorporate a roughness in their images. Robert Frank's photos are no where near as well printed as Ansel Adams, Brett Weston, or Paul Strand's photos. That didn't matter because his photos carried much deeper contextual messages that made a minor lens flare, hot spot, and other little imperfection irrelevant. What I appreciate though is that you don't see obvious instances of over correction to fix those flaws. Remember, Frank took around 28,000 images and selected around 80 of them for his book, The Americans.

I took almost 3000 images in New York and maybe 50 are graded at very good. I would say 10 will make the final cut. Even these selected ones have minor flaws that I will need to fix in Lightroom. One of the main reasons each of these images work for me is that I tried to take the best photo possible. I don't like having to perform major surgery on images to save them*.

Now, I am going to get nit picky. With the digital tools available, many photographers are trying to improve the most important parts of the image to make them more powerful. If the image has something with eyes in it, that is the most important part. We naturally drift our gaze to the eyes of the subject, whether she is an Angelina Jolie or a cow moose. There is a temptation to give the eyes a "modification (also called mods)" or "tune up".

A friend of mine was rebuilding a pickup and decided to plunk in a much larger V8 to replace the native inline 6 as a modification. He added exhaust headers, a four barrel carburetor, electronic ignition, and other adjustments to get maximum horsepower from the engine. When he was finished, the engine had almost three times the horsepower and twice the torque of the original. After gently breaking it in and driving it, he decided to drag race it. On his first run down the lane, he destroyed his transmission. It could not handle the extensive modifications and improved power and torque. In the end, he replaced the transmission, exhaust system, brakes, suspension (the new engine weighed far more than the original) and even added a larger fuel tank. Making overly brash mods to our images can wreak the same unintended havoc on our work.

We may start with lightening the eyes, and saturating the colors of the iris We then add highlights, sharpen them, add detail to the lashes and make them darker or lighter, adjust contrast, whiten the whites, get rid of wrinkles, etc. After all these adjustments, we may believe the eyes are now gorgeous and perfect. The problem is that they don't match the rest of the image in aesthetic or quality. The eyes now show every lash in brilliant definition, but we used softening tools on the rest of the skin and that makes the photo feel awkward and fake at best, and at worst, a bad cosmetic surgery addiction as we try to fix and balance everything (think of Michael Jackson).

Below are two photos of Coach Jim I took a few weeks ago. I actually captured his eyes pretty well the first time. In the first photo I went to work accentuating "the windows to his soul" to make them "perfect." In the second, I did a few touch ups (slightly darkened the highlight and lightened his irises.) Do you see what I mean by over doing it? As my former photography instructor Ron reminded us, tricks are for kids.

* Unless I am re-purposing the image for a completely different intent than straight images.

3
Video

Nine years past September 11th

2010-09-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

Is there ever redemption?

I don't call it 9/11 or 911. Those are models of Porsches or the emergency phone number. For me, it is September 11th. I was going to work in San Francisco that morning. By the time I was crossing the Bay Bridge, the first tower had collapsed and the call had gone out to land all planes. The skies over the city were filled with airliners waiting to land at Oakland or San Francisco. We were scared crossing the bridge, not knowing what could be targets. It is important to remember that three of those flights were headed to SF.

I found this video a few months ago and chose to share it here. It is important to see an image of what the towers were like before the carnage. We all remember what they looked like that day as they burned and fell.

I have no profound words, just sadness.

Photo note - Taken across the street from Ground Zero in June.

Glenn and Sarah's 10 Commandments

2010-09-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

Well worth the two minutes.

The sound of crickets... in a vacuum.

2010-09-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

Valya 090810

Give me your soul.
Give me your lust, your horrors, your darkest essence.
Give me your deepest you.

I give you silence.
I give you confusion from the void of the sound of crickets in a vacuum.
I am the fickle audience that knows my silence is a harsher whip than a cruel word.
Go ruminate in my airless reticence.

2

Misery in the dream.

2010-09-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

Valya 1

Misery is a match that never goes out. - Thomas Huxley

Moon 1

Here are some of my dark images from my sessions with Moon and Valya. Tough to look at, work with, or even title. Interesting how Valya and Moon took their feelings and emotions into different areas. Thanks to both for your hard work on this hard subject.

These images represent the crepitus aesthetic of my night terrors. In them, they are how I see and sense these horror dream. Sometimes I am the observer, the victim, and on rare occasions, the persecutor. With all, the grisly feel in the dreams are close to the content of these photos.

I want to say it was my direct intent to make these photos with Valya and Moon as a concept photo of my nightmares. It wasn't. I was hesitant at first to use the projected image because it looked disturbing. After talking with both models, we decided to work with it.

The Original

I chose this image a while ago as one I could project onto them. You may recognize it as one I took at a local abandoned building on a closed naval base. The look and feel of that environment has a creepy sense of familiarity and closeness to me. Something has made me return to that location four times to photograph in it, including once with Mollee.

Valya 2

Maybe my subconscious mind made the connections for me to use that image and project it onto the models. Once I saw how both reacted and worked with it, I knew I was discovering something important. It wasn't until I started working on the images did I begin to realize why this was important.

The first time I looked at these photos in their raw form, I was disturbed. I even looked away a few times and closed Lightroom. I felt a personal connection to the models, the scene and the disturbing concepts of the captured moments. After working with the images, I gave up hopes of beauty and decided to make them convey misery and other dark emotions. I soon discovered that what made these feel personal and connected was that I live this type of scene almost every night.

Moon 3

In these dreams I usually feel helpless and at the mercy of others, or helplessly watching others go through the same misery. These dreams have deep colors, gore, guts, and sound. I hear joints popping and grinding (crepitus) and the soft moans and sobs of despair. In all of them, the dream keeps progressing so slowly until a semi-conscious part of my mind tells me to wake up and say, "Get the fuck out of my dreams." I usually fall asleep again and the cycle repeats, but is shorter as I make the same realization. After a few repetitions, it goes away and I either dream about pleasant things, unimportant things, or they are completely forgotten for the rest of the night.

Moon 2

Valya 3

I am starting to honor these dark patches of my psyche and try not to bury them as the tortures of the night and only the night. They are a part of me. My subconscious is trying to tell me that I need to do something with them. Maybe it will help heal me. Maybe it will make some ugly art.

PHOTOS NOTE: I left these as large "clickable" links for now so you can see them big. Please look at both models' eyes. They tell volumes.

Post Script - Ok -- I guess they were too much. Tuesday (090710)

Valya 4

Moon 4

Full Moon

2010-08-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

Moon - 082810

I've been working on more of my photos with Moon Marie that we took while I was in New York in June. Many of these images were harder to work with since I was using the LCD projector and I have to really work on them in the post-processing phase.

The image above was a treat and came out so well. I played with the colors and feel it celebrates her sensual beauty. Moon has a quiet grace, elegance, and erotic aura about her in so many of her images.

Some of the projector images of both Moon and Valya are hard to work with. The content was disturbing to shoot and more disturbing to work with. They are not pretty photos, they are harsh, graphic, and while not directly violent, have feelings of post violence. They haunt me when I work on them for a few days, but they have a meaning to me that I am trying to figure out.

Once again, Moon is a true gem to work with. Her elegance, enthusiasm, hard-work, creativity, and willingness to really push herself in every image made it a treat to create with her. If you are in New York and need a model, work with her.

It was a full moon a few nights ago. It was like that when I was in NYC. Seeing it reminds me of my work with Moon and my short stay in that city.

Marketing

2010-08-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Vatican - January 2010

"I've found artists are lousy at self promotion, monetizing and maximizing earning."* - Jim

Last night I had dinner with my best friend, Jim. Jim is a web design/internet marketing consultant and content producer. He mainly helps entrepreneurs build their web presence by creating effective and eye catching sites that help the consumer discover their services and products. His goal is to help each client find at least a 10 fold increase in revenue over the cost of his services. Jim is an ethical business man who wants entrepreneurs to succeed.

We were chatting about my websites that I need built for my photography. We came up with the fact that I need two sites, tied together. One will be my portfolio site that I can give to potential galleries, magazines, contests, etc. The other is a commercial site promoting my future photography courses, photo books, photo contract work, and other services and merchandise. I may even need a third one for my adult content (not porn, just not appropriate for the youngin's).

Jim asked me a while back to send him links to websites of other photographers that I really liked. I told him how I liked the clean, simple, elegance common in all of them. I don't want the formatting and graphic design parts competing at all with photos and words. He felt that was really helpful, but then he asked the hard questions, "Who are your buyers, customers, consumers, clients, etc.? What do you have to sell to them?" These questions that makes it hard for this artist to self-promote, monetize, and maximize earnings.

I've been thinking about these questions a bit now. Who would buy what I create? What would they buy of my creations? With those two simple questions I've come up with a list of potential things I can offer and who would buy them. This is important so we can point our advertising to those narrow groups to maximize revenue from advertising with out sending out spam for unwanted stuff and wasting effort and resources for those limited gains.

Here are a couple of tidbits I discovered from talking this through with Jim. Very few art buyers, if any, will buy my photography, especially the nude art, and hang it on their walls. As much as I love seeing my work big and on a good wall, society isn't ready to have those photos hanging in their homes. My photos are also not the type that make for good subscription-based websites. I don't produce enough content fast enough to do that, and to be honest, while I want some of my photos to arouse and excite, it is not for the quick masturbatory relief that subscription sites aim towards (not a judgment on those sites, I think they are helping the environment by reducing the amount of paper going into Hustler, Barely Legal, and other stroker mags.)

For now, I am exploring where my work can be exhibited/published to get to an audience and make me some scratch from it. I have some ideas, but they are not ready to share.

It is hard for artists to self-promote because many of us create art for ourselves and then hope some audience will come to us wanting it. That doesn't work unless you are extremely lucky and good. We are in the age where artists must promote themselves and be willing to sell both their art and themselves as a branded product. I am coming to accept this as not selling out, as long as I keep to my artistic morals, aesthetics and ethics. Now comes the next challenge, what the hell is my brand????

*This quote may be off a bit due to the influences of enjoying a cold beer, good Italian food, great company and eating outside of a restaurant on the first warm summer evening in northern California. I think that is the gist of it though.

Money - Pink Floyd - The backup singers at 7:00 minutes are priceless and damn sexy.

The Rat Pack

2010-08-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Artist unknown

I just read an interesting article at Slate.com about the formation of the Frank Sinatra's Rat Pack and how the original movie Ocean's 11personified this group. Sinatra and his group of tag-alongs became the symbol of playboy masculinity of the late 1950's and early 1960's. While I know of some of their hijincks, I didn't know the genesis of the pack.

Most people think the Rat Pack consisted of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. with Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop playing secondary roles. According to the article, the group was formed in 1955 after Sinatra invited a group of friends to Vegas for days of non-stop partying. At one point, Humphrey Bogart's wife, Lauren Bacall saw how hungover and worn out they all looked and said, "You all look like a goddamn rat pack." The name stuck.

That is a funny genesis story, but what shocked me was that the beginning Rat Pack had women in it. Some of the female members were Judy Garland and Lauren Bacall. These ladies were high-up officers in the club and participated in the fun.

All this debauched antics and craziness took its toll on its members. Bogart, the group's rat in charge of public relations, once shared with a reporter the packs self serving purpose was "The relief of boredom and the perpetuation of independence. We admire ourselves and don't care for anyone else."   Bogart died in 1957 from cancer.

I find it interesting that even back then, the burden of celebrity had made these people create a group to escape its traps. They no longer wanted to be constrained with being role models and the boredom from that life.

What has changed since then? Not much.   Many celebrities have his/her own entourage they hang out with. This loyal group of friends help the big name cope with it all. This coping can manifest in true help or dangerous help, depending on the enabling intentions of the group. Many celebrities also hang out together because who else understand you better than fellow celebs. Maybe one change though is the growing number of female celebrity rat packs like Paris Hilton playing with the Karsdashians and others.

So, where does all this rambling about the Rat Pack mean for us mere peasants? We all seek to be part of communities that understand us. We have churches, clubs, careers, charities, and other groups that share our interests and challenges. I like to hang out with models, artists and photographers. I also like to hang out with other loners (I know that doesn't make sense, but for most of us loaners, we enjoy spending time with one or two others who appreciate and respect each others' privacy). We talk the same language and share similar experiences. We go out together to push ourselves (not quite like the original Rat Pack) yet also have a safety net group to come back to who understand us.

Lightening the mood - gay marriage and reading in the pixel forest.

2010-08-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas Shakedown - 2010

I have a very busy day at work. I start a new photography class for the fall semester tonight. In light of all this, I want to share a few funny items I found on the internet.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong by Will McGarvey

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

The horrors of reading from The Onion

Photo Fermata

Something new!

Tschüß, До свидания, Ciao, Adios

Tschüß,

Karl

One of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie, Pulp Fiction

Photo Fermata went shopping for a new outfit

RE-POST Scary shit in Arizona is spreading..

Is it an itch or a scab?

New frontiers

Without a helmet

Watch what you swallow.

How many calendars did you get for Christmas?

Photo first

Photo first

Promises, promises, promises

What next???

As I sit

Winter Solstice

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." ~ Henry Rollins

I love photographers - Courtney

Unbearable lightness of coincidence???

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Two years on...

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. - Andy Warhol

Simple

Feel like drinking.

Word - Sensual

Rejuvenate

Imagine

Quiet Treatments

Congrats to Carla

Your lights

Others' words.

Remembering Avedon

...

psst... not bragging... but my photos are in a book... and other stuff to chat about.

Damn it. He is straying into politics again.

Fremont District - Las Vegas, NV

What do you have to say for yourself?

Treatments

Cul de sacs

Take a good look at yourself.

On break - but a small rant.

On break - condom commercial from France.

In the wind

On break

The quiet reminder of what once was.

In Country

Happy Birthday WWST

"Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact"

Another spin around lessens the meaning of the date

Book 'em Danno

Enlightenment vs. Dogma

On this date in 1553> Michael Servetus, who discovered the pulmonary circulation of blood, is burned for heresy in Switzerland. History Channel "This Day in History" update.

It is scary how people are still so afraid of science and what we are learning from it. I am not proclaiming against any one faith. I wish though we could be a bit more open minded. I guess that is what separates the "elitists" from the others, openness to being wrong and learning more.

I guess for many ignorance is bliss and dogma is absolute.

Drops from above

Don't spoil it with words

New way to post videos.

Homework - Food Photos

Minimal

Word - Grace

Clip Show - good articles, short movie review

Winter

Better not said

Into the light

WARNING - Dangerous Scam Photographer - WARNING

"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

Autumnal and Avuncular

Too many words...

To air brush is human

Clip Show

A moment of solitude

Tough

Simple lessons need no words

Awkward photos

Smokin'

My future commute

John and Paul - the power of two... who was the muse?