"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

Courtney - 100810

"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

I overheard that during a critique.  It was not directed at me, but it could have been.  As I swim deeper into the art world I am noticing a few common character traits among artists.  The first trait is a sense of self aggrandizing of the artist's work and the second is a jealousy of other artist's success.

As I grew up, my parents showered compliments on anything I created.  They wanted to encourage my creativity.  Every picture I drew was beautiful and every concert I played in was amazing.

The first time I received criticism on my music or art came in ninth grade.  I took both art and band.  Both teachers were trained in their field and were very accomplished in their talents.  Both teachers wanted to encourage us and gave us time to develop, but also made sure to let us know where we could do better.  It was tough hearing the truth, "Karl, sounds like you didn't practice or put much effort into it.  Is that true?"  Tough feedback pissed me off, especially when it was true.

When you take art in college, you had better get used to the critique.  Most students, but not all, are easy on each other.  The professors are much tougher.  Most of the time I admitted the faults of the work and learned how I could do better.  Once in a while though I got defensive and stood up for my art.  "I did it right.  You are seeing it wrong."  That is a common mantra in my mind during critique.  I bet it is the same one for many artists.

As we develop, we grow our own artistic styles.  We choose our tools, tonal palette, media, materials, subject matter, angles, and aesthetic that speaks to and from our artistic soul.  As a tuba player, I live for playing Bach.  I come alive as I play the contrapuntal bass line that completes the harmonies and gives it a foundation for the whole piece and ensemble.  I don't really care for marches since the tubas only exist to keep the rhythm (Except for some of Sousa's marches.  Listen to the tuba line in Stars and Stripes Forever (check out the video at 1:29).  You can also see the great tradition of when the brass (trumpets, trombones, baritones, and tuba) stand up for the last chorus.  I don't know where the tradition started, but it makes the march come alive at the end.)



I know most artists do not find an appreciative audience who truly understand their work.  They continually have to put up with "that's nice" from family and either silence, obscurity or criticism from the public.  With out that support, the artist has only two choices - fight for their art or drop it.  To remain an artist, he/she must fight for it, believe the art is important,  be open to suggestions, but in the end know it is his/her art. 

This self defensive wall is a big challenge in critiques.  It is important to listen to the criticism and decide how to improve the art.  At what point do you say to the the critic, "You just don't get it." ?  When do you defend your art?

This need to believe in the importance of your art pushes most artists into the second issue, creative jealousy.  I've seen this jealousy in myself and others  manifest in different ways.

The first is a jealousy of another artist's work.  Your colleague created something so amazing that you kick yourself for not having done it first.  Maybe he or she was working on something similar to your work but took it to another level or direction and created masterpieces.  I always ask myself, "Why didn't I think of that?"  I feel deflated when I see that and wonder whether I should even try doing my work anymore because it has been done better by another.  I also feel anger since as I begin to feel they took my idea and went further with it.  At some point though I have to realize that unless they actually stole my idea, it is done and I have to learn and move on.

The second type of jealousy comes from seeing others get opportunities and recognition for their work that you feel is no better than your own.   A month or so ago I found out a friend had orchestrated a major multi-artist exhibit and print edition.  She knew I had worked in the same theme with the same exact materials.  For some reason (and to be honest, I haven't asked) I was not considered for the collaboration.  I've seen a few pieces from the collection and know my work is as good or better.  She even notified me about it after it was done (that felt like a deep cut) so I could contact the people involved since I knew a few of them (and that was salt for the cut).

I felt a deep jealousy and anger toward all involved.  I've supported their art and felt betrayed.  After reflecting on it I came to a sadder conclusion.  I wasn't betrayed or purposefully excluded.  I was either forgotten or didn't even pop into the group's consciousness as a consideration.  It wasn't that I was cast to the side - I wasn't even considered.  It may have been my lack of a name in the community or not having enough ties, but in the end I wasn't even noticed.

My friend James is a writer.  He has had a number of essays and short stories published, but his first novel (a truly great read that needs to get published) keeps getting rejected.  James is a bit more zen than I am.  He believes it will get published by the right publisher at the right time.  He has a collection of the rejection letters and plans to burn them when his book gets published.  

This type of jealousy burns deep and I have to figure out how to deal with it in healthier way like James does.  He believes in his novel and knows it will get out there when the right opportunity opens up and he seizes it.

After reflecting on these two traits, my belief in the following statements grows deeper.  The last three I learned from Duane Michals.  I don't know where the first came from.
1. Luck is when opportunity meets ability.
2.  Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important. 
3.  Don't go against your intuition.
4.  Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.

Owning Up - Part 1

Montana Evening - 050910-1

This is the excellent foppery of the world: that when we are sick in fortune -- often the surfeits of our own behavior -- we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and stars, as if we were villains on necessity, fools by heavenly compulsion, knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical predominance, drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforced obedience of planetary influence. An admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish disposition on the charge of a star!   

King Lear (Act One Scene 2) - William Shakespeare

Funny how so many of us can't take responsibility for our own actions and messes resulting from them.  We always have to blame it on the poor scapegoat.

"...when we are sick in fortune -- often the surfeits of our own behavior -- we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and stars..."

The German Parliament even has a fictitious member they created to blame all unpopular decisions on.  His name is Jakob Maria Mierscheid.  Accountability is not worth much anymore I guess. 

Montana Evening - 050910-2

Men do it, women do it.  Gays and straights do it.  All ethnicities do it.  All religions have people of the cloth who do it.  Republicans do it as well as the Democrats do it.  Rich and poor people do it.  The banks are doing it, but the loan borrowers also do it too.  I've done it and am sure I will do it again.  I am also certain everybody else has blamed everything but themselves for something they did or did not do.

Maybe it is a survival instinct, but it is like the boy who falsely cried "wolf" too many times.  Your credibility drops a little at first when you do it and goes into a death spiral if you continue doing it.

Alas, Babylon

Front cover of the book, Alas Babylon, by Pat Frank.

I tried reading this book in high school, but stopped after 30 pages. I found a battered first edition paper back of it for 10 cents and am reading it now.

It was written in 1959 and tells of a group survivors after a nuclear war between the USSR and the USA. It has many interesting points on race, religion, humanity, and other issues. One quote I found very memorable is the one below. Randy, the protagonist is talking to a neighbor, a retired admiral, about how the USA could be in such ruin.

"There are odd similarities between the end of the Pax Romana and the end of the Pax Americana which inherited the Pax Britannica. For instance, the prices paid for high office. When it became common to spend a million dollars to elect senators from moderately populated states, I think that should have been a warning to us. For instance, free pap for the massess. Bread and circuses. Roman spectacles and our spectaculars. Largesse from concquering proconsuls and television giveaways from the successful lipstick kings. To understand the present, you must know the past, yet it is only part of the answer and I will never discover it all. I have not the years."

It is interesting that in 1959, the author was looking at the end of Pax Americana by comparing it to the end of Pax Romana. The mention of the cost of electing senators for $1,000,000 seemed absurd then. Think about how much the last set of elections cost. Over $60,000,000 combined was spent on both sides of the California PROP 8 ballot issue banning same-sex marriages.

Same-sex couple Amber Weiss hugs her partner Sharon Papo as they get married at San Francisco City Hall June 17, 2008, in San Francisco.
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

I know I've preached on this before, but I feel it is a message needing to be heard again and again. Look at the crap, or pap, we are fed via tv and other media. We swallow with glee the seed of "Reality TV" thinking it is our life. We believe it is "real", or at least real important. When there was questioning over the validity in the recent American Idol voting, there was an uproar by the American swallowers that would overwhelm any squeak of discontent about recent supreme court decisions. "Roman spectacles and our spectaculars."

In the next few weeks, North Korea is probably going to launch a test missile toward Japan or Hawaii, oh wait, Michael Jackson died. That deserves 24 hour news coverage. We need Barbara Walters preempting all other evening programs with information on Jackson's early demise.
Our celebrity-obsessed culture takes another swallow. Jackson was influential in music. I understand radio stations suddenly playing a lot of his music. Did he deserve this much of our precious public attention at his death? He was not JFK or Abraham Lincoln.
If we are looking at the end of Pax Americana, there will be a vacuum to fill that space. Who will it be? Should we try to fight losing world dominance or is it our time to live in diminished importance?

I have one hope and he is our President. Obama is not a perfect president. He's pissed me off on a couple of his decisions. My hope stems from his greater candor and tranparency conpared to other administrations. He has already shared with us more information than Bush did in eight years.

Maybe we can learn that reality is not the show Top Model, but true things like: war, disease, economic ruin, humanitarian relief, nature, art, beauty, music, education, entertainment, pollution, sex, religioun, culture, violence, and what truly surrounds us. There is room for minor things like Hello Kitty and other fads. Fads should be a small side-show we mildly enjoy and not the all-consuming popular seed we swallow with a huge gratuitous smile, then wipe are lips and open our mouthes for the next.


NOTE: I do not have strong feeling about Michael Jackson. I liked some of his songs. I thought he was a bit of a freak at best. As for swallowing, I am using it as an analogy of our world's wanton consumption of gullability and pap. From a sexual point of view, swallowing is your personal preference. I think it is sexy, but if you don't like it, that is fine by me.

Oh My God...

ZINC, Ark.—A child of members of the Knights Party, 2009

Photo by Bruce Gilden - Magnum Photos

...what people do in Your name.

I saw this photo essay. The first photo made me wonder where it was taken in the 1950s. It was taken in 2009.

This scares me more than 2257. I think 2257 and PROP8 are parts of the mentality shared by these "people" - intolerance, hate, and violence. There are shades of those characteristics all about in our culture and are growing like a slow malignancy, easy to ignore until you notice the lump.

Please view this Magnum Photo Essay - The Resurgence of Hate Groups in the United States.