"It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."

Movie still - The Godfather

It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business. - Michael Corleone to Sonny - The Godfather (see movie clip below)

When in doubt, take it personally - Ollie

Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important.
Don't go against your intuition.
Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.
 - Duane Michals

I need to tip-toe around this topic since some of the parties involved may read this.  I recently heard of a photo project that some acquaintances completed. A few of the key people in it knew I had a strong history with very similar projects, especially with this subject, material and theme.  I know they've seen my work and it is as good as the stuff I've seen from the project.  For some reason though no one thought to tell me about it or ask me to join.

At first I was furious.  How dare they do something they know I have done in the past and have very strong work to contribute.  Are they running a good old boys/girls club on this?  Did I alienate myself from their group?  How could they forget me?

After stewing on this perceived slight, I went to the final meeting of my NYC travel group to choose the final photos for our book and exhibition/gallery showing.  We each put up our top two or three dozen images and had to narrow it down to six for the book and three for the exhibit (the book and exhibit could overlap).  I had four themes for my photos, Sex in the City, On the Sidewalks, In the Museums, and The Usual Suspects (The usual sights of the city.)  Our instructor, Ron, facilitated the redaction exercise.  We went as a group and chose the final six and three for each person.  The individual photographer had a major say concerning his/her own choices, but we had to look at it as a complete book of 16 photographers and how all the photos would work together.

We came to my images second and they were ruthless.  Ron and others were saying things like:
"This one doesn't interest me. "
"Cliche."
"No point to this photo"
"This doesn't say anything about NYC."

I got quiet and softly said, "Ouch."  Ron then said, "Look, we want the best book we can make.  The critique and selection process is hard, but that is how it is.  If you ever hear art and photo directors for magazines and books during their selection process, it is ruthless.  If you are looking at getting an MFA, you had better get used to this type of moment, because it will be 100 times tougher and happen all the time."

We got down to my final six images.  I was hurt that a few others were not selected, but see how these six work together and were actually some of my favorites from the beginning.  It hurt, but it worked.  From that moment on though, I chose to be ruthless in my opinions of the others' work if I felt it did not live up to what should be their six best.  It's strictly business getting the best book.  It isn't personal.

That is the rub though.  Art is personal.  When others critique and pull out my favorite photos, it feels like they are ripping a part of me out as well.  In my cold rational mind, I understand appreciate the role of redaction in selecting a body of work.  I wrote two long posts about it in July.

In that instant, I learned two things that lead to a tie-in to the original issue.

1. Redaction is crucial.  Only the best should be shown.
2. If I am going to go into this for a new career, I need to get a thicker skin and be able to defend my work better when presenting it.

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com 
After thinking about those two lessons, I looked at our group photo from the trip taken with the great photographer Duane Michals and I remembered his wise words.
 
Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important.
This quote truly applies to the art world and business.  No one gives a fuck about me, my work, and how I feel about it.  We wanted the best book.  The images chosen from my group may not be all my best, but they work best for the book.

The same goes true for the acquaintance who did not bother to ask me to participate in her project.  In all likelihood, she forgot about me or if she had thought of me, I didn't have the cache, history, portfolio, and prior body of work to part of her project.   It probably was business on that decision, and personal friendships should not have any part of business.  She and her peers are not in business to do me a favor unless I can offer them something back of value as well.   In other words, they really don't give a fuck about me.

Now what I have to figure out is how I can be included in the next project and find out why I wasn't considered for this one.  From that I will learn and be ready for future opportunities.  It may not be with them, and it may be a better one.

Don't go against your intuition.
I had obviously chosen the final 6 photos as part of the larger group I presented.  Some part of me told me to include them and the rational part of me knew that any 6 could have been chosen.  The final 6 are good and I am proud of them.  My intuition was right.


My intuition about my work that is very similar, and probably in the same league or better than the stuff I've seen in the project I was not included in tells me they missed an opportunity for some great stuff of mine.  That is my fault for not putting myself out their more, not theirs.   In a way, it is their loss, but not really.   My work is probably meant to be somewhere else and they got what they wanted.

I know what is good of my work.  Nobody else gives a fuck about it or me, unless I get out there with it and force them to look at it.  Most will say no.  A few will say yes.  The important thing to remember is: It's not personal, [Karl]. It's strictly business.  That is how I will view your role with my work as well.  You are just business when it comes to my art.



Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.
That pretty much sums up the other two quotes.  I just have to do it.  Everything else is bullshit.

SPECIAL NOTE: Thanks to Ron and crew for the great trip, experiences and for the creative project.  We created some good stuff.  By the way, I do give a fuck about your stuff.

Nine years past September 11th

Is there ever redemption?

I don't call it 9/11 or 911.  Those are models of Porsches or the emergency phone number.  For me, it is September 11th.  I was going to work in San Francisco that morning.  By the time I was crossing the Bay Bridge, the first tower had collapsed and the call had gone out to land all planes.  The skies over the city were filled with airliners waiting to land at Oakland or San Francisco.  We were scared crossing the bridge, not knowing what could be targets.  It is important to remember that three of those flights were headed to SF.

I found this video a few months ago and chose to share it here.  It is important to see an image of what the towers were like before the carnage.  We all remember what they looked like that day as they burned and fell.

I have no profound words, just sadness.

Photo note - Taken across the street from Ground Zero in June.

The sound of crickets... in a vacuum.

Valya 090810

Give me your soul.
Give me your lust, your horrors, your darkest essence.
Give me your deepest you.

I give you silence.
I give you confusion from the void of the sound of crickets in a vacuum.
I am the fickle audience that knows my silence is a harsher whip than a cruel word.
Go ruminate in my airless reticence.





2

Be careful of your thoughts...

The Cage

Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment. --Ira Gassen

Maybe that is why I like photography.  I put out the image of my thoughts, you provide your own words for it.  


"Words are very unnecessary.  They can only do harm." 

This video is haunting to watch.  The song is great, but the setting and location and the shooting in bright, smoggy daylight gives me chills to watch.





Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

Fire

Fire Dancer

"Hey son, don't touch that.   It will always burn you."
As he looked away, my five year old hand touched the hot wood stove.  Maybe I learned that time.

"Hey, if you play with fire, you'll get burned."  I listened but didn't understand it beyond the simple literal meaning it offered.

"Hey, be careful, that is hot..."
I drank the hot coffee and it burned my throat.  Maybe I learned that time.

"Hey, don't think about it, that is fire.  Everyone will be burned, especially those close to you."  I listened to him but once again I knew I was fireproof. I got a few scars from that one.

Wait!! It will burn you!

Fire is beautiful and sensual to watch.  It cooks, heats, and melts metal.  It tempts us with its power to do things, but we forget how we can too easily assume we master it and know all its outcomes.  Our arrogance burns us.  With that reminder, we try to rethink how can we use it and not get burned.  Maybe there is no safe way to play with fire and we will always get burned.  If we don't play with fire though, we will never learn and grow to achieve our desires, aspirations and fulfill our needs.  By taking that risk, we painfully live a full life.

Sometimes we have to just accept that we are going to get burned, but it may just be worth it.  With that, I salute all those who are willing to play with fire and take those chances to truly live.   Time to play with fire and get ready for the scars of learning from it.

Work Cited

WTF?

I  had an experience in the last week that feels like the burning pain of bleach going through my veins(hyperbole practice).  Somebody took something of mine manipulated it, and grew it into something more.  Usually I am happy about that as it is part of creating for the world and the evolution of thought.  We want our creations to grow beyond what we initially planned, with one caveat - citation or credit.

In my life as a scientist/teacher/student, I've written the most boring, dry articles about important stuff.  One key point my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Romaine, taught us during book reports was writing the bibliography of my sources.  In college, Dr. Haddad drilled into our heads (appropriate for a behaviorist professor) the APA Style for citing sources.  Twenty-two years later, I still know where to place every period and comma.  It came in handy when I wrote my master's thesis.

It is crucial to cite sources and material in art and criticism as well.  If I am writing a critique on Diane Arbus and read an article on how her depression affected her subject matter, I had better cite that source.   I believe the same is true when art is appropriated for new purposes.

Some of Shepard Fairey's troubles for his famous Hope image of President Obama stem from appropriating an AP image as the basis of his this piece without citing the source of the original image.  He went on to selling the image on merchandise and making lots of money from it.

There

I am a big fan of appropriating art and growing it past the original piece.  In 2004, my friend Scott Tellington over at photosig.com took the image of Leila and Hana above and a few others and told me he wanted to play with them.  As long he didn't do anything to malign the image and gave me credit, I was happy to let him do it.   He made the combined image below.  Even though he went in a direction I would not have gone, I am happy with his work and the credit for the source image.

The Petals of the Passion Flower

In yesterday's post, I uploaded a video featuring a song I appropriated by Lucinda Williams, Just in Time.  This song has a very sensual erotic sound and lyrics that I felt matched the photos I paired with it.  At the end of the song, I cited her as the source of the music.  Since I do not plan to make money from that video I feel it is fair to use it in that way.  If Ms. Williams, or her representatives, don't like it, I will work with them to a mutually satisfactory conclusion.  That is just being respectful to another artist.

Another time I appropriated another artist's work are my photos of the projection of Salvador Dali's Dream Inspired By A Bee Flying Around A Pomegranate A Second Before Waking Up on art model, Candace Nirvana.  Whenever I display this image, I mention Dali's title or provide a link to my blog post introducing this series to give him credit for his role in my piece.  I hope Dali would approve of my appropriation of his beautiful piece.


I admit to not always citing my sources in this blog, especially for images I posted in the beginning of it.  I tried to put "source unknown" if I could not find the photographer/artist/author/creator's information.  In hindsight, I am going to review this policy to see if I should err on the side of caution and remove them until I can find the source.Dali and Nirvana 4

Now, back to why am I feeling like a victim of theft.  To the artist who appropriated something of mine, knowing it was mine, and evolved/refined it much further,  I am not upset by your appropriation and use.  It is actually a very good piece of work.  Just give me credit for the seed that bloomed for you.

And the Cause Has Been Joined

 Don't

Joshua Tree National Park

I look to the four compass points
and am starting to see
the division lines for battles
scratched in varying grounds.

Some are for ideals
some are for religion
some are for freedom for some
some are for closing others in

We are heading toour own chosen lines
we scratch with a sharp, ragged stick
to stand behind and look across to the adversary
then slowly turn our backs to
so we no longer acknowledge
they may be more like us than not.


Quotes about choosing sides, enemies, and art I chose randomly by blindly clicking.  Some I agree with, some I chuckle at.

All sides in a trial want to hide at least some of the truth - Alan Dershowitz

Be truthful, nature only sides with truth - Adolf Loos

Cause and effect are two sides of one fact - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

An artist must be free to choose what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he might choose. - Langston Hughes

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West

He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious. - Sun Tzu

In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.  The Dalai Lama

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. - John F. Kennedy

Part 1 - The Rights of the Model Part 2 - The Rights of Subjects?

 My Little Lady

Very interesting series of posts written by Dr. L and Alex over at What We Saw Today concerning the rights of the model and the acknowledgment they deserve.  While I think both parties need to be fairly acknowledged, will this push move beyond models?

Part 1 

Without the hard work and gifts of the models I've worked with, my photos would be nothing.  I greatly appreciate them and give them the credit I can.  Along with paying their modeling fees, I also send them a cd with the images I find good enough for their own promotional use.  If I ever make a great amount of money off of an image, I will share a fair portion with the model since we made the art

As I wrote in my comments to one of the posts, 

"While sharing the credit for the contributions of both the model and photographer to the final piece is crucial, it must also be decided upon before the art is created. Both sides need to stop making assumptions on where the credit of the creativity belongs. It is important to decide these issues in the planning discussions before the first click of the camera shutter."

Two of the models I've worked with have specified in writing in the model release they want to know where I will exhibit, post or publish any images of the images they appear in.  Neither stated they would limit the usage of the images, just wanted awareness of their placement.  I've always honored their requests because it was the right thing to do and was in the contract.  One thing I suggest to all models and photographers is to make these decisions before the shoot, not after.  To be honest, I would be upset if a model wanted to add restricting or additional rights sharing clauses after the photo shoot.  That is why I will from now on send future models I work with my model release before the session so we can negotiate language changes.

Alex made an interesting comment about painting versus photographing a model.

Let's go back to the world of photography. Most nude photographers regard themselves as artists, and indeed they are, but photography is a very different art form from painting or sculpting. It really relies heavily on the active participation of another person, the model - unless of course the photographer only shoots landscapes or objects or is a street photographer, shooting subjects rather than models.

The input of the model is much more significantly tangible in an art photograph than it is in a painting. The photographic model has every right to be acknowledged, i.e., named. And yes, s/he should be entitled to share the copyright of the image and have rights to its reproduction. All sorts of restrictions can be put in place, of course, so that the image is not further processed or manipulated by anyone else once it is finalised, but share of copyright simply means that the authorship is shared.

There is a part of this I agree with concerning the art model's role in creating the image.  To paraphrase my statement above, my photographs with models would be empty without them and have no meaning or purpose.  They added crucial and very necessary contributions to the shared creation of those pieces

I am not sure how I feel about some of the subtle subtext in this statement that I am reading into it. This statement makes me think that Alex has a different opinion on the artistic contribution, creativity and role of the photographer in creating an image compared to a painter or sculptor.  I could photograph a nude and make a beautiful print of it or I could create a painting from the image, yet it feels like I am judged more as an artist by picking up the brush, not loading the image into the enlarger.  Maybe I am being defensive, but I feel the battle for recognition of photographer as artist is still not over.  Is it because of the ultra-realism of photography? 

I have a question about the rights of models who work with painters and sculptors.  What if a painter created a piece that was nothing like the model posed for, but was a graphic sexually explicit crotch shot painting with the model's face clearly visible and identifiable.  Does the model have a right to recourse?  I think the painter broke the trust of the relationship, but since the artist created a visual moment that did not exist, what can the model do?


Part 2

"... It really relies heavily on the active participation of another person, the model - unless of course the photographer only shoots landscapes or objects or is a street photographer, shooting subjects rather than models."  Alex from What We Saw Today

With the recent technology enabling everybody to take photos, people are taking more snaps of everything, everywhere, at all times.  Will subjects (or the owners of) soon be demanding profits and rights for the images?

I found this page at the National Park Service website about photography permits for professional photographers.  I can understand wanting a permit system if the park will have to provide extra personnel and/or will need to clean up or fix things after a photo shoot.  I am troubled that I  need to get the permit even if I am not requiring any more park resources compared to amateur photographers.  What is interesting that painters do not need these permits.

The most disturbing line (to me) at the website is:

In addition, the National Park Service has been directed by Congress to collect a fee to provide a fair return to the United States for the use of park lands.

I may be getting paranoid and probably will need to move back to Montana and live in the middle of nowhere worrying about black helicopters, but I am starting to think everybody is going to want a cut on anything produced by anybody.  Will there be a time when I will either have to pay a fee to San Francisco for photographing the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, or Coit Tower because I may make money with them?  Will I have to pay Yosemite National Park royalties on images of Half Dome that I sell?

At this point I have to ask, will painters, poets, sculptors, musicians, mixed media artists have to go through the same hoops?

Two Tries, Same Message

Woven
Photo by Karl

Version 1
I know that you

don't want to accept, but you
obviously can't un-ring the bell
needlessly done
through my exposure

cautiously we
avoid the
reality of the
erotic nature of it all

it hurts to see things that make you
feel these are perpetuating unreal expectations

you feel excluded yet
only you can decide
ultimately whether to accept yourself

reality is that we
each think we
are much
deeper than the other

too bad though our
history makes you mistrust the
identity I try to push
through my shutter.



Version 2
I really feel that you
don't want to view, but I
care enough that it hurts you.

If all this is objectifying and perpetuating things
you despise, you may
read and see things that alienate.

This is your choice for yourself to accept or denounce, for I continue.


__________________

Thanks Arnie for the idea. You deserve more credit.
(Selfish writing day)

One of the few pieces of music that makes me cry.


,.

Hi... My Name is Karl and I Photograph Nudes

She Runs My Life
Photo by Karl

I am tired of the SB (Side B) name. I took on a nom de plume to keep my anonymity. If they want to dig far enough, they will find my work anyway. I'll keep my last name private though.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has been a part of my family for over three decades. I am very familiar with the anonymous part of stating, "Hi, my name is (insert first name here) and I am am alcoholic." Where upon every one replies, "Hi (first name)." I find it interesting that I am seeing parallels between admitting an addiction and owning this blog by saying I photograph nudes. Is creating art that scares puritanical fucks a disease? (Maybe I am overstating my work's value calling it "art", but I've seen worse.)

Maybe this admission is related to where I live. Living in the San Francisco area has to influence my perceptions of "living in truth." A person very close to me came out to her friends last year and to her ultra-conservative Catholic family last month. Her friends accepted it and most supported her. Her family reacted... like shit. By being her friend, they informed her that she, I, and all others who support her are marching in "Satan's Legion." I hope I am in the marching band, I did that back in high school and college.

So I guess I am slowly coming out of the closet to admit, "My name is Karl and I am an artist." My latent self-identification issues are boiling up. I wonder if I will share my fondness for fondue next. Why should being an artist and photographing nudes have any more stigma than my penchant for sticking food items into melted cheese.

Above and below are a few self portraits I did for my photography class. We could decide whether the intent was commercial or artistic. I went artistic. You may recognize my little ceramic lady from another photo series I put up here.

So, tomorrow I will return with a photo of a woman or two to help balance out all these male photos here today. Whenever quoting or referring to my blog, feel free to use "Karl," unless you feel you need to use "SB."

You Want Some of This?
Photo by Karl

The Real Me
The Who

I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.

Can you see the real me, doctor?

I went back to my mother
I said, "I'm crazy ma, help me."
She said, "I know how it feels son,
'Cause it runs in the family."

Can you see the real me, mother?

The cracks between the paving stones
Look like rivers of flowing veins.
Strange people who know me
Peeping from behind every window pane.
The girl I used to love
Lives in this yellow house.
Yesterday she passed me by,
She doesn't want to know me now.

Can you see the real me, can you?

I ended up with the preacher,
Full of lies and hate,
I seemed to scare him a little
So he showed me to the golden gate.

Can you see the real me preacher?
Can you see the real me doctor?
Can you see the real me mother?
Can you see the real me?

Paternalistic Utopia

Currents (BW)
Photo by SB

Please read this article first about New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's attempts to regulate everything.

http://www.slate.com/id/2228722/


I found this paragraph very interesting:

"The underlying left-right divide is not about whether government has the right to promote private virtue but, rather, about what kind of virtue it should promote. Republicans demand paternalistic policies that uphold morality or social order. In Indiana, where I recently spent my vacation, you can pick up fireworks or a handgun anywhere, but good luck buying a six-pack on Sunday. Democrats, by contrast, deploy paternalism for health and safety reasons, yielding a different set of absurdities. In California, pot is on the verge of becoming more permissible than cigarettes. Both left and right take pleasure in mildly persecuting those who fail to meet their civic ideals."

That is pretty scary stuff. One side is ruining sex, the other side food. Both sides want to "protect" us, but for very different reasons.

The conservatives want to limit us from polluting their children and their ways of life with ours. They judge right and wrong based on Christian moral issues. The left judge right and wrong based on harm to others and the environment. (That is an over simplification of both sides, but I am not in the mood to write a thesis on it.)

I supported the banning of smoking in restaurants and bars. I also supported San Francisco's attempts to ban plastic grocery bags in all stores. Some of these liberal "protections" are going a bit far though. At what point do I become a baby that others have judged as incompetent to take care of my self?

The conservative limitations scare me more than the liberal ones. Their limitations hold back freedom of expression. I can express anything within their view of acceptable speech and be praised for it. If I create a "patriotic" video with imagery of flags, tanks, smart bombs, waves of grain, enemy bodies, ultimate fighting, NASCAR and put it to a Tim McGraw song, I am a patriot and anyone who speaks foul of it "hates America, gawdammit!" If I respectfully create and exhibit a photo of two guys kissing, I am "one with Satan's Legions." I was actually told that last week for supporting a lesbian friend's coming out to her ultra religiously conservative family, no shit.

I think this is just another part of the loss of civilization. We are losing our ability to trust people (within realistic realms) to do the right thing. We don't trust them to start using energy efficient light bulbs, and they don't trust me to keep my "smut" away from naive eyes. No wonder both sides are moving away from common ground with these "us vs. them" attitudes.

The Photographic Chasms - Parts 1 and 2

Ying and Yang

Photo by SB

PART 1 Aug 10th

In recent posts, Stephen Haynes asked deep questions about his recent photo shoot and the role the photographer plays in it. As I read it, I am getting depressed about my own photography.

Fire Dancer 2
Photo by SB

When I photograph something, I am separating myself from the subject. I am the first viewer. I am recording the moment, but am not necessarily part of it. The more intense the photo, more I am

separated by the chasm between subject and photographer. Think of it this way, if I am setting up each pose and all the props in a photo, I am very involved with the content and the photo (see Ying and Yang). If I am recording a moving moment of independent minds, whether it be a fighter jet (see Poetry), a fire dancer (see Fire Dancer2), or two lovers together (see A Taste), I am very detached from the content other than to try to capture it.

Poetry

Photo by SB

A Taste
Leila and Hana - Photo by SB

While reading Stephen's questions about the photographer's role, I felt nauseous. I do not blame him at all for this. He is forcing me to look at myself in a deep way that terrifies me of my own motivations. Am I truly creating art or am I intruding on something very private and so personal? Am I trying to satiate something deep in me that is not for the sake of photography, but to just get a thrill. This is throwing me into a creative war with my own intentions as both an artist and human with sexual, emotional, and physical needs.

PART 2 August 12th

The emotional hurt I felt on the 10th surprised me and made me look deep into why I photograph what I do. What was my motivation for capturing the images I did? Are they true to art, erotica, and honor the subject appropriately?

My fear and anguish was discovering that there is a part of me that did get an ethereal erotic pleasure from photographing Leila and Hana and every other model who I've worked with. Even though I felt little or no arousal during the photo sessions, I felt it while planning and printing/editing the images. Was I only creating my own masturbatory materials and needing to add a new experience notch to my life belt?

After some deep introspection on this and reading Stephen and Dr. L's posts on the subject and all the comments to their writings, I am finding some answers for myself. They are not easy to accept yet, but they are becoming clearer.

Is it acceptable for me, the photographer, to have self-serving interests at a prurient level? If "yes," can it still be art and are the motives debasing the value of the work or adding to it? These two questions summarize what I need to answer. I will return to these later.

Part of the reason I am struggling so deeply with these answers was due to my own lust at the moment. What is funny, it wasn't a sexual lust. It was a lust to photograph and to release my creativity.

I have not lifted my camera since my photo class ended a few weeks ago. I haven't edited any photos. I thought I needed a break before my next class started. When I saw Stephen's photos of Brooke and Erin, I felt the deep emotions of lust, artistic respect, artistic jealousy, disdain for my work, and a loss as I felt left behind as others moved on. I also felt some personal pain due to the subject of the photo that is my own personal issue and not a judgment on the content.

Variations on a Photo - The Garage Studio

Photo by SB

Yesterday I was mulling over these emotions and decided to work on my recent photos of Candace. Within a second of my first action on one image, an hour went by. I felt something had changed so I quickly went to Stephen's blog again and reread it and viewed the photos. My answers were clearer, his photos inspired me, and I knew I had discovered something about myself. I need to continually work on my art or I get pent up anxiety for the creative release. Abstaining from art is as difficult and damaging for me as abstaining from sex.

Variations on a Photo - Landscape from a Portrait

Photo by SB

So, what are the answers to those questions from above? They are not fully answered yet and they may change and evolve as I do, but here are my responses for now.

Is it acceptable for me, the photographer, to have self-serving interests at a prurient level? YES

If "yes," can it still be art and are the motives debasing the value of the work or adding to it? As I mentioned in a comment on Stephen’s blog…

The beauty of it (erotic sappho photos) is art, erotica, and all of the other characteristics you mentioned. It can also be pornographic, exploitative, and both objectifying and degrading to the subjects. For me, what determines the outcome is largely due to the intent of all of the participants; photographer, models, and the viewer.

If my motive is purely for my own sexual satisfaction, my product is probably not art. Dr. L. put it best in her blog yesterday when she quoted from Kenneth Clark's The Nude. The quote is his answer to whetherart can have an erotic message in it and still be art.

Clark definitively says: "...no nude, however abstract, should fail to arouse in the spectator some vestige of erotic feeling, even though it be only the faintest shadow - and if it does not do so, it is bad art and false morals. The desire to grasp and be united with another human body is so fundamental a part of our nature that our judgment of what is known as 'pure form' is inevitably influenced by it; and one of the difficulties of the nude as a subject for art is that these instincts cannot lie hidden... the amount of erotic content a work of art can hold in solution is very high.”

Variations on a Photo - Still Not There

Photo by SB

Artists must feel the emotions they are trying to communicate through their art. If I am going to make art showing the oppression of religious freedom, I need to feel anger and seek justice through my work for it to be genuine and powerful. To make art that has erotic content, I must feel the erotic emotions and feelings I want to convey in the piece. In this way, I am giving my art some authenticity in its message. If the photo did not make me feel and react, then what is the point? My job as an artist is to use my vision and the beautiful contributions of the models and/or subjects to make the photo rise to becoming art.

PHOTO NOTE: Ying and Yang - I know for this to be true to the title one of the models needs to be black or a man, or a black man. That was one of the first critiques I got on this photo when I posted it online at a photo forum. This is one of my favorite photos I have taken. I don't brag about my work often and will let it speak for itself. This photo is art to me. Whenever I post it online, this photo gets more comments than the more explicit photos of Hanna and Leila. Just curious, on the erotic scale of 1 (none) to 10 (get me a cigarette) how would you rate it? I give it a 3.

So, if you have a better name for it than Ying and Yang, I am open to it. I offered that at another site and someone suggested Ying and Yank... I don't think he got the artistic point.

The Appeal of Sapphos and Threesomes

Just Two
Photo by SB

In Stephen Hayne's blog, Magic Flute Nudes, he asked what the appeal of lesbian erotic photos is for heterosexual males. I wrote a brief summary of some of the psychological theories I found through a quick internet search on the topic. Here is what I wrote.

Let me dust off my 20 year old psychology degree and try to find a theory about why guys like lesbian erotica. I did a quick internet search for theories on this. Here is a stab at it.

When a guy sees erotic photos of a man and a woman, they can feel intimidated by having a man there. This guy in the photo is competition. It is difficult to feel a part of the scene with another guy there. Only when the photos are closeups and hardcore can most men disassociate the guy and put their own feelings, presence and desires into the photo.

If the photo is of two women, the sense of competition is reduced or eliminated because of a misogynistic impulse to think, "All those women need is a real man, and that is me." The lesbians I know definitely disagree that is "what they need."

This is one of theories I found. There were others though centering on the idea of 3-somes and also being dominated by two women.

I need to think on my own feelings concerning these types of images, since I have made some myself. Maybe that could be a future post.

Good questions. Good photo. Good post.

I believe there are subtle variations and combinations of reasons that are more applicable for an individual's desires. As for mine, they have evolved.

From the beginning of my viewing of erotic, pornographic, artistic, implied lesbian erotica, I found them very arousing. I love looking at the feminine physique and seeing two women together in a sexual presentation was even better. If the content was video, the sounds and movements were even more enticing and arousing. The content did not have to be explicit to make me appreciate it.

A few years back, I enjoyed photographing Leila and Hana together. Their genuine affection for each other made the moment feel real and not so scripted. During the photo shoot, I did not feel like a voyeur since I had a participatory role in it. My role was behind the camera and capturing the event and adding direction as needed. I wasn't just a viewer. Was I aroused during the shoot? Not really. Later that night though I did have some very sensual dreams.

Not long ago, my views of lesbian erotica greatly changed due to a very personal issue between my wife and myself. I am still uncomfortable writing out the full issue here, but if you go through my entire blog you will see I've softly touched on it a number of times and you can get the idea of what happened. Because of this I am torn between being aroused seeing the images, but also feeling emotionally hurt by them.

As I mentioned in the theory comment I put on Stephen's post;

If the photo is of two women, the sense of competition is reduced or eliminated because of a misogynistic impulse to think, "All those women need is a real man, and that is me." The lesbians I know definitely disagree that is "what they need."

This is very true. I recently saw an interesting scene from Showtime's The L Word. A homophobic and deep-in-the-closet older police officer has pulled over one of the main male characters who caught his girlfriend with her lesbian lover. The cop asks why he was speeding and the upset boyfriend tells him the story. The cop offers this.

Sammy is the cop, Tim is the boyfriend in the script.

Sammy: You ever watch pornography?
Tim: Um...
Sammy: You don't have to answer that. We all do. You know, we spend our whole lives watchin' porn. We never see the warning. There it is. You know that scene, where, uh, two women are gettin' it on? Guy comes in, he's all hard, y'know, he's gonna give it to 'em, he's gonna fuck 'em good. We think that's what those chicks want. The meat. That's not it. They're having a good time without him. They're going down on each other, you know, they're, uh... they're up in there, they're licking everything, a guy comes in, he's ready to unload... that's not what they want. They got their eyes squinted up, like, uh... someone's gonna pour gasoline on 'em. There's your warning. (stands up) That's why this country's homosexuals... are so dangerous. (leans back down) When you got two people... they got the same equipment... and they both know how to treat it... how could anybody of the opposite sex compete with that? That's how they get ya. (a beat) You, uh... try to drive the speed limit, okay?
Tim: (a beat) (nods) I will.

I don't agree with Sammy's pessimism or defensive attitudes against homosexual sex as being "so dangerous." The male fantasy to join two lesbians and believing, "..all they need is a real man." is dishonest and false. I don't think there is a part for a third in a threesome or between two lesbians that don't need a man. They are together for each other and a man will not make it complete. I doubt a woman would have much success joining two gay male lovers in the same circumstances either.

A few of my friends have tried the different combinations of threesomes. MMF, FFM, FFF, and MMM. All of them said it was at best a failed experiment and at worst, an end of a relationship. If you throw in the factor of love and someone feeling left out and jealous, then mutually rewarding and beautiful threesomes are only a myth of the porn industry.

For better or worse, the appeal of lesbian erotica and threesomes has greatly diminished or evaporated completely for me. I encourage photographers to photograph these scenes, but I am not sure if I will. I still like looking at the pictures though, but the erotic personal connection to them is both arousing and hurting.


Personal note. This is not a well-argued point. I am just trying to figure out how I feel about this topic. As we all know... feelings and logic are not friends.

PHOTO NOTE. I scanned this on my dusty old scanner. Sorry for the millions of dust spots. I tried to get rid of as many of them as I could.

Me at Forty

My POV of 40

Photo by SB

My final project for the class I just finished was Me at Forty. Here is the little write-up I read before exhibiting my photos for critique.

Men at Forty by Donald Justice

Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to.

Turning forty can seem cliché to those who have not reached that number. This cliché for men usually involves sports cars, brave athletic heroics, sordid love affairs, and other attempts to recapture youth that has slipped into the middle.

I am trying to live beyond the cliché now that I am forty. I look back at the doors I've closed along the way. I look at where I am now and see new doors open from how I have lived so far. I look to the future and wonder what doors are yet to be discovered.

These photos represent some of the realities I feel at this moment. In ways, they may show me missing my youth or regretting some of my life choices. I prefer to think of them as interpretations of how I exist now. They are my POV or Point-of View of the now.


I RECOMMEND CLICKING ON THE PHOTOS FOR A HIGH-RES VIEW. MANY OF THEM HAVE SUBTLE CONTENT.

Living in Both Worlds
(The Lady in Red)

Photo by SB

Weeds Along My Road

Photo by SB

A Glance into My Views

Photo by SB

A Role Model, Richard Avedon (self-portrait)

Photo by SB

Between Two Americans (Portraits by Richard Avedon)

Photo by SB

The Not-So-Fastrak... in the Passenger's Seat

Photo by SB

Still has a Purpose

Photo by SB

NOTES: I took the photos of the Avedon photos at the SF MOMA. Anyone could take photos, sans flash, at the Avedon exhibition. I am not trying to copy his art, just capture a part of who I see myself as in this stage of my life.

On another note, I am amazed how they placed the photo of César Chávez along side Ronald Reagan. Talk about two very different Americans. Both made their name in California.

I posted an concept test earlier. Click here to view it.

Looking for a Lost Photo and Other Bits

Calm and Dark
Photo by SB

A few years ago I saw a photo Ansel Adams took of Edward Weston's wife, Charis, up in the Sierras. I can easily find Weston's photo of her from the same trip, but not Adams'. I've tried every search combination on Google and Bing to no avail.

I think I am going to have to do this the old fashioned way and go to SF MOMA to research it. I hope they have something. I may also call the Ansel Adams gallery to see if they have anything.

At first I was miffed at not finding it. Now it is a fun photo-detective challenge... for a while at least.

Nude in Box
Ruth Bernhard

On other news. I finished my photography class. I feel I did very well. In the last week I may have discovered some deep personal things about my artistic voice. I am still trying to figure all that out and will write about it at some length in the near future. All I can say for now is I love Edward and Brett Weston's and Ruth Bernhard's work, but that is probably not my direction.

Nude, 1920
Edward Weston

I've been reflecting on the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong's stroll on the moon. I was a little over four months old and have no recollection of it. In my mind though, it was the greatest thing to happen in 1969.

My first memory of astronauts and the moon was getting a little moon buggy replica in a container of Tang. I played with that little toy forever and vaguely remember my parents telling me the astronauts had driven it on the moon. They even pointed to the moon for emphasis. I don't think I had a clue what they were talking about, but that is my earliest Apollo memory.

Like most kids, I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents said that it was too difficult to get the job and I should make astronomy a hobby and not have my hopes crushed by NASA's fickle choices. They said that about being a musician, artist, photographer, archeologist, paleontologist, fighter pilot and many other now-dead aspirations.... not all of them are dead. Someday I will forgive them for that, but not today.

Nude 175
Brett Weston

Ok, this blog post kind of got heavy at the end. I am always amazed how the rambling ones take unplanned trips to unexpected personal places.

Calm and Bright
Photo by SB

PHOTO NOTE - another from my projected word series. I am playing with exposure on this one. This is not a great photo, but it is fun to play with.

When in Doubt...

When in doubt, take it personally. Lee O.R.

I had a colleague and friend I used to work with in my company before I moved into my current role. This weekend, I washed my hands of him.

Lee is a hip forty-something who plays guitar, writes music, and thinks more of himself than his talents can carry. He has some good self-preservation traits and is very charming. As I slowly learned over the past year, he also uses people at their own cost.

Lee taught me the quote above. I don't know if he invented it though. With Lee, you can not be sure.

Lee used me for ideas and was a master at subtly changing things so he would get the credit and not appear to have stolen them. At work, he took my ideas for projects that I had talked with him in confidence about to get feedback and he would propose them to the boss before I could. He used me as a photographer for his promotional materials pro-bono.. and even uses the photos on Facebook and Myspace. No credit.

The final straw came last Friday. He stopped by my office to say "hi" and see if I wanted to go to lunch. As is natural with him, he is unhappy where he is living and wants to move to Marin with his family. He wants the musical opportunities available there. He thinks Marin is his where he will break through.

A few minutes later I told him I went to a conference in Washington DC in April and met a few high-up folks at a Marin-based corporation and one of them was recruiting me to come work for them. Lee told me he had applied for a position at that company. He asked me the guy's name wondering if he had chatted with him. I dug up the business card and handed it to him before going to the bathroom.

As I headed back to my office I saw Lee leaving the photocopier with a copy of the business card. He then said, "Maybe I should talk to this guy. Sounds like he has pull." I was speechless. I couldn't even say, "What the fuck?" He gathered up his computer bag and left saying, "Good to see you. Take care and let's do lunch again."

This time I took it personally.