Better not said

Courtney - 101310 - 1

“Silence is the true friend that never betrays.” - Confucius

 Contemplating things... not too profound.  Enjoy a few photos of Courtney.  






























 

Courtney - 101310 -2

A moment of solitude

Valya - 092910

Sometimes we all need to be alone.   We shut out all the unneeded and only focus on ourselves.  For some, it is a stress relief.  For others, it is a way to cleanse our mind, body and spirit and celebrate a unique and personal gift.  

Smokin'

Courtney - 092310 - 1

What is it about watching people smoke that is so damn sexy?  Is it the sensual breathing, the smoke entering and then exiting their core?  This sexiness of smoking is not just of women.  One of the biggest draws for the great show Mad Men is the all the smoking, both the men and the women. 

I recently worked on a photo assignment for my new class.  The assignment was to photograph accessories as part of a portrait.  We looked at a set of examples the instructor prepared.  Most were beautiful images, but didn't inspire me.  I saw examples of accessories that included necklaces, hair, piercings, masks, and other bits of bangles and baubles.  None of them inspired me and I wanted to photograph something sensual and sexy.

Courtney - 092310 -2

Last Sunday I met with all the other photographers I went to New York with to work out the photos for our book.  I talked with my friend Courtney, a gifted artist and fellow student, as she was smoking.  I knew then that I had found the right accessory for her portrait.  After some brief chatting we worked out a location and date and got these photos.

Thanks to Courtney.  You are an artist and a muse, and you amuse. 

Just because

Valya - 072410-1

Not much to say.  A good photo or two of Valya is worth much more than my words that I could share today.  I am so pleased with my work with her.  I am starting to work on the dark and dangerous photos I created with Valya and Moon. 
  

Valya - 072410-2

Valya - 072410-3

Portland, Oregon

Moments

This morning I listened to the duet "Portland, Oregon" from Loretta Lynn's Van Lear Rose album featuring Jack White on guitar and vocals.  This song makes me smile for many reasons,- the location, themes, Jack's guitar and voice talent mixing with Loretta's, and what I know of both performers.

Location 
I've been to Portland many times.  It is a clean, progressive city in the northwest tip of Oregon.  It  is flanked by Mount Hood to the east.  The Columbia River forms the city's northern boundary.   Most  days seem to be overcast and gray, but the rare sunny days are true beautiful gifts.

In the mid 2000's, Portland boasted having more strip clubs per-capita than any other US city.  Most of these strip clubs are small "ma and pa" establishments.  The performers tend to move away from the typical strip routines and perform more burlesque or performance art pieces that have strong erotic content set to individual sound tracks.  In other words, they aren't just stripping off pink thongs to a Bon Jovi song.

Portland quiets down after midnight.  It becomes a quiet city under rainy skies.  I've spent a few nights there in a hotel's bar.  The bar in the video is not much different than the ones I patronized.  They are kind of empty and full of solitary people who want something more for the night. 

Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz
If that ain't love then tell me what is
 Well I lost my heart it didn't take no time
But that ain't all. I lost my mind in Oregon

Themes
I imagine this song is about two people visiting the city separately, but finding each other over drinks.  For reasons that may be both right and wrong, they extend their night together until the next day.  They are reflecting back on it with a smile.  They know it was one night "party" with each other and may feel a small bit of regret, but mostly a fond one-time memory.

In a booth in the corner with the lights down low
I was movin' in fast she was takin' it slow
Well I looked at him and caught him lookin' at me
I knew right then we were playin' free in Oregon

Performers
In my opinion there are two types of female voices in classic country music.  The first is the angelic pure voice that melts your heart with its beauty.  Patsy Cline had this type of voice and style.   Listen to her sing "Crazy" to hear the purity of tone and the beauty she shared.

 

The second type is the sultry and worn voice.  Where the first type melts your heart, the second either stokes your heart's arousal or breaks it from the sadness of the singer's story.  These voices may have been tempered by smoking, whiskey, and over expression to create that mix of eros, pathos, despair, dark night clubs, and broken marriages, Loretta Lynn has the second type of voice.

Loretta Lynn is a country music legend.  Her autobiography, Coal Miner's Daughter,  was made into a Oscar winning movie.  Lynn's library of country music has too many themes and styles to list here.  Combined, they show how she has lived a full life and sang about it.  The memories may be good, bad, old, or new.

Jack White was the singer and guitarist for the Detroit neo-punk blues band The White Stripes.  White's music is known for his hard, bluesy guitar playing and solos that are both technically and musically amazing.  His lyrics tend to be dark and reminiscent of childhood, relationships, and his perceptions of them.  I saw The White Stripes in 2005 and it was the best concert I've attended.

Portland, Oregon starts with White's high-pitched, fast, pizzicato guitar lick that sounds like a humming bird's heart.  It is a mix of blues, country, and flamenco guitar styles that provides the feeling of growing interest, excitement, and buzz of the night, yet slightly deadened by the alcohol fueling the moment.  After White's solo, the tempo slows down and he slowly strums a repeated string of notes as other instruments join in.  They speed the tempo up again and grow in volume right before the singing starts.

When you combine both of them, their duet takes on a new life.  You can hear Jack's young male voice (he is 35 years old) mix with Loretta's sultry experienced female voice (she is 75).  To me, they show his young, brash yet shy, eagerness and her wizened yet quiet desire to make the night one to remember.  They both sing and perform very well to their respective roles in the song. 

White and Lynn then take turns singing individually and ending the song together as they sing the songs final lines: 

Well sloe gin fizz works might fast
When you drink it by the pitcher and not by the glass
Hey bartender before you close
Pour us one more drink and a pitcher to go

And a pitcher to go [repeat]

This is not an important song in the annals of music.  It doesn't tell an important story or share deep parts of the human psyche.  It is a short story of a short moment in two people's lives.  It does not idealize or romanticize the night, it tells the story and alludes to the role of alcohol, location, and opportunity in making the night go its path.


Portland, Oregon
Loretta Lynn and Jack White


Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz
If that ain't love then tell me what is
Well I lost my heart it didn't take no time
But that ain't all. I lost my mind in Oregon


In a booth in the corner with the lights down low
I was movin' in fast she was takin' it slow
Well I looked at him and caught him lookin' at me
I knew right then we were playin' free in Oregon


Next day we knew last night got drunk
But we loved enough for the both of us
In the morning when the night had sobered up
It was much too late for the both of us in Oregon


Well sloe gin fizz works might fast
When you drink it by the pitcher and not by the glass
Hey bartender before you close
Pour us one more drink and a pitcher to go


And a pitcher to go [repeat]

Different than what we learned in P.E.

Moon - 071710

Please watch the video.  We never learned to dance or do gymnastics like this.  I am going to need to take a cold shower.

What did you decide?

All Your Dreams - NYC

Life is the sum of all your choices.  ~Albert Camus

But adults need to be allowed to be adults. ~ Z

Outie - NYC

More NYC images.

The Femme Fatale

Angelina Jolie
Dan Winters

In guy world there is the Ginger or Maryann question. Which would you choose from Gilligan's Island, Ginger or Maryann? If you don't know these characters, Maryanne is the wholesome and pretty farm girl. Ginger is the femme fatale. The modern version of this question, Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston?

Femme fatales are one of my weaknesses. I don't know if it is the drama, the crazy passion, the dark sultry looks, or all of these combined. What makes me, and many other men, desire these dangerous relationships? They rarely end happy. Most of the time they end with things broken, cars keyed, and reputations hurt.

My first college girlfriend was a femme fatale. That was a very short and passionate relationship with too much drama, but the time together sizzled. I haven't had one since.

I think the male version of femme fatales are the bad boys. In high school, so many of the girls I wanted to date liked the bad boys. What makes us desire femme fatales and bad boys? The danger and passion is definitely a draw. Maybe we hope we can experience living on the edge through them.

Here is a song from a diva femme fatale that I am attracted too.




v

Men Take the Light

Sean Connery

Photographer unknown

"You've heard the saying, 'Men take the light'?" my portrait photography instructor asked.

We all looked confused. He then smiled and showed a few glamor photos of male and female models and celebrities.

Danny Glover
Photographer unknown

The first were of Paul Newman both older and younger. Then he showed us Robert Redford, Sean Connery and Brad Pitt. He asked us about the lighting for each.

Paul Newman
Photographer unknown

Paul Newman
Photographer unknown

There was usually one strong light source that was angular, and maybe a fill light or reflector. We also noticed darker shadows emphasizing the contours of their faces.

Robert Redford
Photographer unknown

We then looked at photos of Marilyn Monroe by Richard Avedon followed by the iconic Farrah Fawcett bikini photo. We ended with photos of Angelina Jolie. He repeated his question about the lighting.

Marilyn Monroe
Photo by Richard Avedon

The lighting was subdued and diffused, less angular and more fill lighting from multiple sides. This was true for almost all of the glamor photos for women.

Marilyn Monroe
Photo by Richard Avedon

Six years ago I took a photo of my friend Melinda. She is a very sexy beautiful forty something with long red hair. I photographed her in her living room by the big window with my new Hasselblad. When I got the photos back, she looked beautiful because they showed the life in her eyes. She looked at them and was disappointed. "I guess I look that old."

Men can take the light.

Men are allowed to age and show wisdom and sexiness through their aged faces. When you looked into Paul Newman's eye, you saw a handsome man, no matter how old or how wrinkled he was. The shadows just accentuated his manliness. The same goes for Robert Redford, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, and many other handsome men.

Brad Pitt
Photographer unknown

Women are not allowed to show their age. Glamor photographers use softening techniques like light diffusers, softening lenses, editing changes, and other tricks to make the women look younger. I have never erased wrinkles, although I have hidden pimples and razor burn a few times. Through all this trickery, we get a silly ideal that all beautiful women look 22 and have absolutely perfect skin. Sadly then, so many women go under the knife and then inject botulism into their faces to keep their youth.

Robert Redford
Photographer unknown

I think Robert Redford is still handsome. Yes, he has wrinkles and sun spots, yet when you look in his eyes, you still see that boy spirit brimming with life. I am saddened that I can only think of a few beautiful older female celebrities that are proud of their age and are sexy as hell, Helen Mirren, Sophia Loren and maybe Madonna. Mirren, 64, still performs nude in some of her movies where she is amazingly sexual and sexy. Sadly though, most female models and celebrities are not allowed to age, so they are forgotten.

Helen Mirren
Photographer Unknown

UL and Mrs. break this trend by celebrating their age, wisdom, beauty, and sexual attractiveness. When I look at them, I know I am not looking at a twenty year old starlet, I am looking at sexy women that have twinkles in their eyes from erotic histories that makes them even sexier.

Angelina Jolie
Photographer unknown

Maybe I should be comforted that I know many beautiful older women who are not shunned by celebrity and live among us common folk. They look beautiful whether in soft or harsh light. Sadly popular culture does not see it.

Monica Bellucci
Photographer unknown

Monica Bellucci
Photographer unknown

I understand we all want to look good for our portraits. I don't like photos of myself because I've found few people take good ones. Maybe this is the reason I don't like doing formal portrait photography. I love creating honest beauty from the person. Unfortunately, it all goes back to what a female photography instructor said to us, "It is easy to get a pleasing picture of a cute young woman."

So, in this age of celebrity and youth obsession, remember this... "men take the light."

Angelina Jolie
Photographer unknown

Photo note: I found this sexy photo of Angelina Jolie where she is in harsh light. Good for her and the photographer.

Please also take a moment and look at the quality of lighting for all these photos.

Halle Berry
Photographer unknown

Helen Mirren
Photographer unknown and probably is paparazzi, but Helen looks stunning.

The Photographic Chasms - Parts 1 and 2

Ying and Yang

Photo by SB

PART 1 Aug 10th

In recent posts, Stephen Haynes asked deep questions about his recent photo shoot and the role the photographer plays in it. As I read it, I am getting depressed about my own photography.

Fire Dancer 2
Photo by SB

When I photograph something, I am separating myself from the subject. I am the first viewer. I am recording the moment, but am not necessarily part of it. The more intense the photo, more I am

separated by the chasm between subject and photographer. Think of it this way, if I am setting up each pose and all the props in a photo, I am very involved with the content and the photo (see Ying and Yang). If I am recording a moving moment of independent minds, whether it be a fighter jet (see Poetry), a fire dancer (see Fire Dancer2), or two lovers together (see A Taste), I am very detached from the content other than to try to capture it.

Poetry

Photo by SB

A Taste
Leila and Hana - Photo by SB

While reading Stephen's questions about the photographer's role, I felt nauseous. I do not blame him at all for this. He is forcing me to look at myself in a deep way that terrifies me of my own motivations. Am I truly creating art or am I intruding on something very private and so personal? Am I trying to satiate something deep in me that is not for the sake of photography, but to just get a thrill. This is throwing me into a creative war with my own intentions as both an artist and human with sexual, emotional, and physical needs.

PART 2 August 12th

The emotional hurt I felt on the 10th surprised me and made me look deep into why I photograph what I do. What was my motivation for capturing the images I did? Are they true to art, erotica, and honor the subject appropriately?

My fear and anguish was discovering that there is a part of me that did get an ethereal erotic pleasure from photographing Leila and Hana and every other model who I've worked with. Even though I felt little or no arousal during the photo sessions, I felt it while planning and printing/editing the images. Was I only creating my own masturbatory materials and needing to add a new experience notch to my life belt?

After some deep introspection on this and reading Stephen and Dr. L's posts on the subject and all the comments to their writings, I am finding some answers for myself. They are not easy to accept yet, but they are becoming clearer.

Is it acceptable for me, the photographer, to have self-serving interests at a prurient level? If "yes," can it still be art and are the motives debasing the value of the work or adding to it? These two questions summarize what I need to answer. I will return to these later.

Part of the reason I am struggling so deeply with these answers was due to my own lust at the moment. What is funny, it wasn't a sexual lust. It was a lust to photograph and to release my creativity.

I have not lifted my camera since my photo class ended a few weeks ago. I haven't edited any photos. I thought I needed a break before my next class started. When I saw Stephen's photos of Brooke and Erin, I felt the deep emotions of lust, artistic respect, artistic jealousy, disdain for my work, and a loss as I felt left behind as others moved on. I also felt some personal pain due to the subject of the photo that is my own personal issue and not a judgment on the content.

Variations on a Photo - The Garage Studio

Photo by SB

Yesterday I was mulling over these emotions and decided to work on my recent photos of Candace. Within a second of my first action on one image, an hour went by. I felt something had changed so I quickly went to Stephen's blog again and reread it and viewed the photos. My answers were clearer, his photos inspired me, and I knew I had discovered something about myself. I need to continually work on my art or I get pent up anxiety for the creative release. Abstaining from art is as difficult and damaging for me as abstaining from sex.

Variations on a Photo - Landscape from a Portrait

Photo by SB

So, what are the answers to those questions from above? They are not fully answered yet and they may change and evolve as I do, but here are my responses for now.

Is it acceptable for me, the photographer, to have self-serving interests at a prurient level? YES

If "yes," can it still be art and are the motives debasing the value of the work or adding to it? As I mentioned in a comment on Stephen’s blog…

The beauty of it (erotic sappho photos) is art, erotica, and all of the other characteristics you mentioned. It can also be pornographic, exploitative, and both objectifying and degrading to the subjects. For me, what determines the outcome is largely due to the intent of all of the participants; photographer, models, and the viewer.

If my motive is purely for my own sexual satisfaction, my product is probably not art. Dr. L. put it best in her blog yesterday when she quoted from Kenneth Clark's The Nude. The quote is his answer to whetherart can have an erotic message in it and still be art.

Clark definitively says: "...no nude, however abstract, should fail to arouse in the spectator some vestige of erotic feeling, even though it be only the faintest shadow - and if it does not do so, it is bad art and false morals. The desire to grasp and be united with another human body is so fundamental a part of our nature that our judgment of what is known as 'pure form' is inevitably influenced by it; and one of the difficulties of the nude as a subject for art is that these instincts cannot lie hidden... the amount of erotic content a work of art can hold in solution is very high.”

Variations on a Photo - Still Not There

Photo by SB

Artists must feel the emotions they are trying to communicate through their art. If I am going to make art showing the oppression of religious freedom, I need to feel anger and seek justice through my work for it to be genuine and powerful. To make art that has erotic content, I must feel the erotic emotions and feelings I want to convey in the piece. In this way, I am giving my art some authenticity in its message. If the photo did not make me feel and react, then what is the point? My job as an artist is to use my vision and the beautiful contributions of the models and/or subjects to make the photo rise to becoming art.

PHOTO NOTE: Ying and Yang - I know for this to be true to the title one of the models needs to be black or a man, or a black man. That was one of the first critiques I got on this photo when I posted it online at a photo forum. This is one of my favorite photos I have taken. I don't brag about my work often and will let it speak for itself. This photo is art to me. Whenever I post it online, this photo gets more comments than the more explicit photos of Hanna and Leila. Just curious, on the erotic scale of 1 (none) to 10 (get me a cigarette) how would you rate it? I give it a 3.

So, if you have a better name for it than Ying and Yang, I am open to it. I offered that at another site and someone suggested Ying and Yank... I don't think he got the artistic point.

Me at Forty

My POV of 40

Photo by SB

My final project for the class I just finished was Me at Forty. Here is the little write-up I read before exhibiting my photos for critique.

Men at Forty by Donald Justice

Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to.

Turning forty can seem cliché to those who have not reached that number. This cliché for men usually involves sports cars, brave athletic heroics, sordid love affairs, and other attempts to recapture youth that has slipped into the middle.

I am trying to live beyond the cliché now that I am forty. I look back at the doors I've closed along the way. I look at where I am now and see new doors open from how I have lived so far. I look to the future and wonder what doors are yet to be discovered.

These photos represent some of the realities I feel at this moment. In ways, they may show me missing my youth or regretting some of my life choices. I prefer to think of them as interpretations of how I exist now. They are my POV or Point-of View of the now.


I RECOMMEND CLICKING ON THE PHOTOS FOR A HIGH-RES VIEW. MANY OF THEM HAVE SUBTLE CONTENT.

Living in Both Worlds
(The Lady in Red)

Photo by SB

Weeds Along My Road

Photo by SB

A Glance into My Views

Photo by SB

A Role Model, Richard Avedon (self-portrait)

Photo by SB

Between Two Americans (Portraits by Richard Avedon)

Photo by SB

The Not-So-Fastrak... in the Passenger's Seat

Photo by SB

Still has a Purpose

Photo by SB

NOTES: I took the photos of the Avedon photos at the SF MOMA. Anyone could take photos, sans flash, at the Avedon exhibition. I am not trying to copy his art, just capture a part of who I see myself as in this stage of my life.

On another note, I am amazed how they placed the photo of César Chávez along side Ronald Reagan. Talk about two very different Americans. Both made their name in California.

I posted an concept test earlier. Click here to view it.

Favorite Repetitive Firsts

Coffee Drinker
Olive Ray

A week ago I got a haircut. Mel, who has cut my hair for eleven years (one of my longest relationships with any person), was tying the straps of the cape over my neck when she asked, "Would you like a Corona with lime?"

I looked at the clock on the wall, 3:30pm. It was eighty-five degrees outside and for some reason I said, "yes." I don't drink beer much and am not a big Corona fan. Something made me want that beer.

Mel returned with bottle of Corona and a lime wedge inserted in the top. I grabbed the bottle and felt the cold wet condensation chill my hand. My anticipation grew. I pinched the lime wedge between my fingers, releasing its juice down the inside of the bottle neck, then pushed it inside the bottle.

I looked at the bottle for a second then touched it to my lips. The cold beer flowed into my mouth and I savored the flavor, then swallowed before it could warm. At that moment, the world came to a peaceful quietness and the coolness of the beer traveled down my throat and through my body. I relaxed back in the seat, feeling ready for my haircut and the rest of the day.

I mentioned how perfect the first sip of cold beer on a warm afternoon is to Mel. We started thinking of other repetitive firsts that never lose their charm, power, and pleasure. These things had to be experiences we repeat multiple times in our lives, yet we still relish the first moments of them.

Here are a few we thought of and a few more I want to add.

• The first puff off of a cigar or cigarette. The rich smoke spreading through my being. Mel loves her cigarettes and I love my occasional cigar.
• The first sip of good coffee in the morning. This is one of my all time favorite rituals. I feel the warm rich flavor flow to every molecule of my body.
• The first taste of my mom's German potato salad. Every time I enjoy that initial burst of flavor, a epicurean ecstasy fills me.
• The first time I see Half Dome and El Capitan when I enter Yosemite National Park. I enjoy seeing them every other day of my stay, but that first view of natural beauty is as close to a religious moment that I've ever experienced. (This also happens in Glacier National Park and Death Valley)
• The first kiss leading to sex. It may be the 5003rd time we made love, but that first kiss sets the mood, tone, atmosphere, and expectations for the next few hours.
• The first time I hear Silent Night and Oh Holy Night during the appropriate Christmas season. Both put me in a peaceful, powerful moment that makes me have hope. Each time after that, they lose meaning due to them being over played.
• The first time I cycle the transmission through all the gears after not driving a stick shift for a while.
• The feeling of me sliding into my lover's wet warmth as I slowly push and she pulls me in. This short moment of pure beauty combines the senses of taste (a kiss) smell ( arousal ) sound (a moan, sigh and breathing) sight (seeing me enter and the beauty of her body, eyes and her taking me in) and of course touch (the richest touch experience for me, the warm, deep embrace of becoming one with her) This one I didn't bring up with Mel... would have been awkward.
• The first photo I take of a new subject. The exhilaration of starting out a new photographic adventure.
• The first dinner out on a trip. It sets the mood for the rest of the eating adventures ahead.

These are some of my favorite repeated firsts. Do you have any?

"I'm Too Sexy"

Hands Moving
Photo and alterations by SB

Gatochy wrote an amazing blog about male sexuality and how it can be both oppressing and oppressed. Please read it before reading this.

I want to quote one special part:
The only reason I'm even mentioning this is because it backs up my theory that men (my lawyer just whispered into my ear I should say "some" men, but we don't do disclaimers at Gatochy's Blog. We also never preface anything with a "full disclosure". I don't owe anyone full disclosure about anything.) men have a genuine problem with regarding themselves as a sexy.

This is a very true statement. It is hard for most straight men ( I will not speak for gay men because I feel they don't have as much of this problem as straight or bisexual men) to view themselves as sexy. I think it is the fear that if I say to myself, "Damn, I have sexy arms.", I may subconsciously be saying that I find men's arms sexy... which means I am gay. I know that sounds silly, but most of the stuff that floats through everyone s' heads at the subconscious level is silly.

When I turned 36 I decided I needed to take better care of myself. I dropped 40 lbs, worked out, got some sun (but not too much since my scandanavian skin burns in three seconds) and got into decent shape. I did this because my marriage was almost dead, sex was gone, and I felt I needed to feel good about myself inside and out.

As I lost the weight and increased my fitness, I noticed subtle psychological changes. I stopped stooping (tall guys stoop a lot) and stood at my 6'4" height with pride. I noticed that when I saw myself in the mirror as I dried off that the sagging fat had turned into muscles with some definition. This made me feel proud. This gave me confidence that I can be sexy. One big observation of these changes came when an attractive woman gave me the full eye scan from head to toe as I left a local coffee shop and held the door for her. It was the first time in years that I realized... she checked me out. I felt sexy.

Now feeling sexy is more than having a nice body or a great smile. It is also the attitude about sex. I love sex. I love all things about it. I love how it brings the individual sexiness of two people together into a unique blend that could not exist without each other. Sex can be sweet, deep, touching. It can be rough and raw and filled with animal passions. Being sexy and sexual also allows me to enjoy the three gifts it offers.

First, it is sexy to give pleasure. It is also an ego boost when you make your lover melt sexually, but that boost is not too important to me. There is a deep sense of intimacy seeing my lover enjoy and release to passion and pleasure through my efforts. It is also sexy to share new things with a lover and to both teach and learn from them. The deep warmth of giving some one special all your focus on their pleasure and bringing them to a very deep release, then holding them and caring for them as they come down from it is a gift for both to enjoy.

Second, it is sexy to be open to receiving pleasures. When I first became sexually active, I struggled letting go of control and just sitting back and letting her focus on my pleasure. I finally learned my lesson when one time she awoke before me. She noticed my arousal and gently woke me up and took me to the beautiful end without me needing to engage at all. I just layed back, looked down to her and enjoyed the pure beauty of the moment.

Third, and maybe the best gift of being sexual, sexy and loving sex is when both of us are working together to make the moment more than just the two of us. We are focusing on each other's pleasures, our own pleasures, and the combined pleasure of the building arousal and release. I still flush when I think of a special time in Spain where all three or these gifts culminated together into a life-changing moment for me.

Being sexy for both men and women is more than physical appearance. It is also the belief that he or she is sexy. I am not talking about cockiness, just confidence. Everyone has something sexy about them. It could be his smile, her laugh, his kiss, her hands. It is ok to feel sexy about yourself. Sex involves trust. You not only have to trust the person you are with, but you have to trust that you have something to bring to event.

So, here is my statement. I can be sexy, sexual, and recognize these things in myself. I also recognize sexiness in other men. It doesn't necessarily reflect on my sexual preferences. I am not ashamed to look at the photo of the guy laying back in Gatochy's blog and say, "Damn, that is sexy." Sexy is sexy.


I can't believe this song is 17 years old. It still makes me chuckle.