Cul de sacs

Hana and Leila - 111610

The term cul de sac is French for "bottom of the bag."  That sounds about right.  I went for a walk this weekend in a new neighborhood full of them.  It kind of felt like living at the bottom of the bag, the end of a road.

I've been taking stock of my life a bit over the last few weeks.  One thing I've done is started identifying my personal cul de sacs.  These dead ends are things in my life I don't need to go down any further.  Some of them are hopes from my youth, desires that are no longer relevant, artistic pursuits and interests. 

DISCLAIMER - I support the LGBT community and want everyone to celebrate their sexuality.  I hope everyone has a rich, rewarding sex life. What I am about to say is not my judgment of these groups or their erotic love.  It is about my preferences.

When I look back at my images with Leila and Hana, I am now getting a feeling this is a cul de sac. 

I took those photos in 2004 and loved looking at them.  I appreciated the beauty, the lines, the moment from each image.  Hana and Leila shared the gift of their caring, passionate intimacy with me.  I was  aroused making them and working on them afterward.

Leila and Hana - 111610B

Since 2008, I've had other feelings about sapphic imagery.  These changes are due to many reasons.  One of the biggest is that I am finding them less and less arousing for my own personal desires.  Now when I see these photos, I see the deep attraction Leila and Hana felt for each other and shared off camera as well.

I wrote more about my evolving views on sapphic erotic imagery here (The appeal of sapphos and threesomes), where I go into much greater detail.  I fully support others taking these photos, but I think I am done.  I have reached the end of that cul de sac and it is time to find other things to photograph.

Photo note - I've used a black and white variation of this photo before.  I think the BW version is better, but I like the accent of Hana's red panties.  It adds a little pop to this image.  I would work with either of these models again... just not together.   The lightning struck once, and that was enough.  More photos of Hana and Leila.

John and Paul - the power of two... who was the muse?

My Dynamic Duo

It is a crazy day in my life.  Work, photography, life.  They all are sucking my time.  I took a moment to read the first segment on a new series at Slate.com on the power of creative pairings.  The first dynamic duo they look at is Paul McCartney and John Lennon.  Please read it before going on with this post.

I find it fascinating how both added so much and needed so much from their relationship.  They both needed to be in charge, but they did it in different ways.  The quote from Mick Jagger about why he and Keith have worked together for so long while John and Paul split is also very interesting.  The writer of the series also asks if dynamic pairs' relationships must have extended longevity.  For some, Mick and Keith, yes.  For John and Paul, no. 

I think that is true of all types of relationships.  Some of the best friendships, romantic relationships, etc., I've enjoyed were short lived.  On the other hand, I do love the long lasting ones too.  I am glad I haven't had too many powerful relationships that ended way too soon or lasted way too long.   I am like Goldilocks, I want the one that is just right.

Now back to dynamic duos.  Many in the art community write about muses.  I've had a few.  Almost every model I've been blessed to work with were my muses.  Some of those relationships lasted a few hours, others are still inspiring.  Maybe after reading this article and hopefully the whole series, I will have a new appreciation for the creative relationship that the arts give us.  So, here is the question I have about John and Paul's relationship, who was the muse?  I think it was Paul.

Portland, Oregon

Moments

This morning I listened to the duet "Portland, Oregon" from Loretta Lynn's Van Lear Rose album featuring Jack White on guitar and vocals.  This song makes me smile for many reasons,- the location, themes, Jack's guitar and voice talent mixing with Loretta's, and what I know of both performers.

Location 
I've been to Portland many times.  It is a clean, progressive city in the northwest tip of Oregon.  It  is flanked by Mount Hood to the east.  The Columbia River forms the city's northern boundary.   Most  days seem to be overcast and gray, but the rare sunny days are true beautiful gifts.

In the mid 2000's, Portland boasted having more strip clubs per-capita than any other US city.  Most of these strip clubs are small "ma and pa" establishments.  The performers tend to move away from the typical strip routines and perform more burlesque or performance art pieces that have strong erotic content set to individual sound tracks.  In other words, they aren't just stripping off pink thongs to a Bon Jovi song.

Portland quiets down after midnight.  It becomes a quiet city under rainy skies.  I've spent a few nights there in a hotel's bar.  The bar in the video is not much different than the ones I patronized.  They are kind of empty and full of solitary people who want something more for the night. 

Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz
If that ain't love then tell me what is
 Well I lost my heart it didn't take no time
But that ain't all. I lost my mind in Oregon

Themes
I imagine this song is about two people visiting the city separately, but finding each other over drinks.  For reasons that may be both right and wrong, they extend their night together until the next day.  They are reflecting back on it with a smile.  They know it was one night "party" with each other and may feel a small bit of regret, but mostly a fond one-time memory.

In a booth in the corner with the lights down low
I was movin' in fast she was takin' it slow
Well I looked at him and caught him lookin' at me
I knew right then we were playin' free in Oregon

Performers
In my opinion there are two types of female voices in classic country music.  The first is the angelic pure voice that melts your heart with its beauty.  Patsy Cline had this type of voice and style.   Listen to her sing "Crazy" to hear the purity of tone and the beauty she shared.

 

The second type is the sultry and worn voice.  Where the first type melts your heart, the second either stokes your heart's arousal or breaks it from the sadness of the singer's story.  These voices may have been tempered by smoking, whiskey, and over expression to create that mix of eros, pathos, despair, dark night clubs, and broken marriages, Loretta Lynn has the second type of voice.

Loretta Lynn is a country music legend.  Her autobiography, Coal Miner's Daughter,  was made into a Oscar winning movie.  Lynn's library of country music has too many themes and styles to list here.  Combined, they show how she has lived a full life and sang about it.  The memories may be good, bad, old, or new.

Jack White was the singer and guitarist for the Detroit neo-punk blues band The White Stripes.  White's music is known for his hard, bluesy guitar playing and solos that are both technically and musically amazing.  His lyrics tend to be dark and reminiscent of childhood, relationships, and his perceptions of them.  I saw The White Stripes in 2005 and it was the best concert I've attended.

Portland, Oregon starts with White's high-pitched, fast, pizzicato guitar lick that sounds like a humming bird's heart.  It is a mix of blues, country, and flamenco guitar styles that provides the feeling of growing interest, excitement, and buzz of the night, yet slightly deadened by the alcohol fueling the moment.  After White's solo, the tempo slows down and he slowly strums a repeated string of notes as other instruments join in.  They speed the tempo up again and grow in volume right before the singing starts.

When you combine both of them, their duet takes on a new life.  You can hear Jack's young male voice (he is 35 years old) mix with Loretta's sultry experienced female voice (she is 75).  To me, they show his young, brash yet shy, eagerness and her wizened yet quiet desire to make the night one to remember.  They both sing and perform very well to their respective roles in the song. 

White and Lynn then take turns singing individually and ending the song together as they sing the songs final lines: 

Well sloe gin fizz works might fast
When you drink it by the pitcher and not by the glass
Hey bartender before you close
Pour us one more drink and a pitcher to go

And a pitcher to go [repeat]

This is not an important song in the annals of music.  It doesn't tell an important story or share deep parts of the human psyche.  It is a short story of a short moment in two people's lives.  It does not idealize or romanticize the night, it tells the story and alludes to the role of alcohol, location, and opportunity in making the night go its path.


Portland, Oregon
Loretta Lynn and Jack White


Well Portland Oregon and sloe gin fizz
If that ain't love then tell me what is
Well I lost my heart it didn't take no time
But that ain't all. I lost my mind in Oregon


In a booth in the corner with the lights down low
I was movin' in fast she was takin' it slow
Well I looked at him and caught him lookin' at me
I knew right then we were playin' free in Oregon


Next day we knew last night got drunk
But we loved enough for the both of us
In the morning when the night had sobered up
It was much too late for the both of us in Oregon


Well sloe gin fizz works might fast
When you drink it by the pitcher and not by the glass
Hey bartender before you close
Pour us one more drink and a pitcher to go


And a pitcher to go [repeat]

My Moonrise, My Citizen Kane?

Movie Still from Citizen Kane

Moonrise Over Hernandez, NM - Ansel Adams

Ansel Adams had Moonrise over Hernandez. Edward Weston had Pepper Number 30.  Richard Avedon had Dovima with Elephants. Orson Wells had Citizen Kane.   I have Yin and Yang.  I do not list these giant's iconic photos and movie and my work as being on par in quality and beauty, but to share what they may all have in common.  For most viewers they are the single piece of art everyone identifies with their creator.

I wrote a short post last night about which photos models choose to use from our work together.  At the top I put the photo Leila uses in her Model Mayhem portfolio, Yin and Yang.  My friend UL wrote a comment about the post and the image.

Yin and Yang

The one you posted here is one of my all-time favorites of yours. I like the yin-yang of it, and the beauty of the alabaster bodies against the black. Stunning and somehow pleasing to the psyche.

Others have written:

stunning b&w. love the emotions - Drusilla Killswitch @ Model Mayhem

This is one of the greatest shots I have seen on MM - Digiphotoarte @ Model Mayhem

 One even wrote a poem for the photo and posted it as part of their critique.

A snowflake
on midnight's window
spirals around my centre
stirs the vortex of my desire.

Wonderful entwining of human forms here - love how one body merges into the other in Geminesque balance. - Jac at Photosig.com

I appreciate all of the comments and compliments of this photo.  This is a special image for me and I am proud of it.  When Leila, Hana and I created it in 2004, I was standing on a ladder above them as they lay on a black rug.  As with almost all of my photos, I spent little time staging since I am not too particular with every detail meeting some predefined concept in my head.  This moment and the pose lasted one or two photos before the models moved a bit to a new pose.  The whole thing took maybe forty seconds.  I mention this because part of the success of the image was serendipity.

Dovima with Elephants - Richard Avedon

Yin and Yang has a rich aesthetic beauty for me.  As UL wrote, "Stunning and somehow pleasing to the psyche."  I agree and I like that description.  It is a relaxing piece to look at, but does it have much more than that?

I believe Yin and Yang lacks complex meaning.   I have many other photos I think are more important including some recent work from New York, Nevada, and Rome.  They make me stop and think.  I want to explore them and discern what they mean to me as the creator of them and also who I am.  I seek the deeper meaning with them as they get under my skin and make me think.  Yin and Yang does not do that for me as either a creator or a viewer of it.

Maybe I have to accept Yin and Yang, and how it reflects on me, in two different ways.  First, not all of my art has to be about something.  It doesn't have to carve deep into my psyche and share truths about existential issues.  Yin and Yang can exist to simply celebrate beauty and aesthetic.  Second, even with its success I have not pigeon-holed my art into making all my images like it.  I am not Anne Geddes.  While I have pride in that photo, I am free to make what I want and not be limited to cloning prior success.  I have to remember Walker Evans may be remembered for his Share Cropper photo series, but my favorite photos of his came from his late-in-life experiments with Polaroid cameras.

Walker Evans - Polaroid

Walker Evans - Polaroid

Walker Evans - Polaroid

The ones they chose

I always get a thrill when a model I've worked with uses some of our work for their own uses.  It interests me which ones they chose.  Here are some of them. 

Moon - Model Mayhem
Valya - Valya's blog,  Model Mayhem,
Leila - Model Mayhem,

Work Cited

WTF?

I  had an experience in the last week that feels like the burning pain of bleach going through my veins(hyperbole practice).  Somebody took something of mine manipulated it, and grew it into something more.  Usually I am happy about that as it is part of creating for the world and the evolution of thought.  We want our creations to grow beyond what we initially planned, with one caveat - citation or credit.

In my life as a scientist/teacher/student, I've written the most boring, dry articles about important stuff.  One key point my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Romaine, taught us during book reports was writing the bibliography of my sources.  In college, Dr. Haddad drilled into our heads (appropriate for a behaviorist professor) the APA Style for citing sources.  Twenty-two years later, I still know where to place every period and comma.  It came in handy when I wrote my master's thesis.

It is crucial to cite sources and material in art and criticism as well.  If I am writing a critique on Diane Arbus and read an article on how her depression affected her subject matter, I had better cite that source.   I believe the same is true when art is appropriated for new purposes.

Some of Shepard Fairey's troubles for his famous Hope image of President Obama stem from appropriating an AP image as the basis of his this piece without citing the source of the original image.  He went on to selling the image on merchandise and making lots of money from it.

There

I am a big fan of appropriating art and growing it past the original piece.  In 2004, my friend Scott Tellington over at photosig.com took the image of Leila and Hana above and a few others and told me he wanted to play with them.  As long he didn't do anything to malign the image and gave me credit, I was happy to let him do it.   He made the combined image below.  Even though he went in a direction I would not have gone, I am happy with his work and the credit for the source image.

The Petals of the Passion Flower

In yesterday's post, I uploaded a video featuring a song I appropriated by Lucinda Williams, Just in Time.  This song has a very sensual erotic sound and lyrics that I felt matched the photos I paired with it.  At the end of the song, I cited her as the source of the music.  Since I do not plan to make money from that video I feel it is fair to use it in that way.  If Ms. Williams, or her representatives, don't like it, I will work with them to a mutually satisfactory conclusion.  That is just being respectful to another artist.

Another time I appropriated another artist's work are my photos of the projection of Salvador Dali's Dream Inspired By A Bee Flying Around A Pomegranate A Second Before Waking Up on art model, Candace Nirvana.  Whenever I display this image, I mention Dali's title or provide a link to my blog post introducing this series to give him credit for his role in my piece.  I hope Dali would approve of my appropriation of his beautiful piece.


I admit to not always citing my sources in this blog, especially for images I posted in the beginning of it.  I tried to put "source unknown" if I could not find the photographer/artist/author/creator's information.  In hindsight, I am going to review this policy to see if I should err on the side of caution and remove them until I can find the source.Dali and Nirvana 4

Now, back to why am I feeling like a victim of theft.  To the artist who appropriated something of mine, knowing it was mine, and evolved/refined it much further,  I am not upset by your appropriation and use.  It is actually a very good piece of work.  Just give me credit for the seed that bloomed for you.

Palin - the flash in the pan. Some thoughts on her "celebrity", pregnancy in red and blue states and gratuitious dirty pictures.

Leila 1 - 052010

Part 1
Stephen first introduced the subject of the "conservative feminist" through citing a quote by Sarah Palin.  Dr. L.  took that and wrote a great post discussing the history of the possible blending of conservative values and feminism and then went on about the limitations of some of the beliefs.  Even if you do not read my post, PLEASE read both of theirs. 

Leila 2 - 052010

I cringe when I hear Sarah Palin speak much like I did with our last President.  She is dumber than George W. Bush and even more outspoken.   She hides behind her smarmy wink and "true American gal" persona as she spreads lies and overly-simple statements about complex issues.  Sadly though, she is gaining traction in the ignorant section of the conservative base (as an aside, both parties have ignorant sections of their party that believe the overly simplistic and bombastic messages that fire up their emotions, yet lack the truth and proof to back it up.)

I will not comment on resigned Gov. Palin's statements on "conservative feminism."  Dr. L stated things far better than I can on the topic.  Palin has a right to say them and she may even have an interesting point or two.  What I want to comment on is how she is now the darling of the conservative movement.

Up until Palin was picked as McCain's running mate, Ann Coulter was the darling of the conservatives.  Her abrasive attack dog style wowed her popularity base.  Too bad they often missed her lies because so many loved her sentiment (and probably her physical appearance as well.)  One thing I've always believed about her was that she was mean.  She made it very personal when she attacked someone.  The only time I saw justice was when she was called out on her ignorance and tendency to overstate things.  Below is a great video of her and Al Frankin in a conversation at the Connecticut Forum.   Her expression right after Frankin mentions the holocaust shows she knew she lost the moment.



Palin took Coulter's crown as the Queen of the GOP.  Her influence is much different.  She is not as openly abrasive or caustic as Coulter.  Her mean edge is veiled under a good ol' girl "ah-shucks" persona.  Coulter tried to carry an intellectual persona while Palin mocks intellectual thought.

Leila3 052010

I believe Palin is more dangerous because of her two-sided push.  She not only attacks liberals on their progressive agenda, but also on their intellect.  Her message basically is, "They think they are smarter than us, but they don't understand us real Americans."  This scares me because she is fueling a class war based on intellect.  Scary stuff.

There is one good thing about Palin's growing celebrity.  She is getting so much exposure as a commentator, pundit, and "expert."  Palin is sharing her opinions on everything, including the melding of conservatism and feminism.  With all of this stuff being recorded, she is killing her chances of running for President due to all the contradictory statements she has made.  She will be buried in a debate when any opponent can dig up evidence of her ignorant contradictions to her own statements.  By becoming the conservative darling and reaping the rewards of her celebrity, she probably killed her chances for high-level public office in the future.

Part 2

I've read Dr. L's, Stephen's, Z's and many others opinions about defining pornography.  I've written a bit about it myself sharing that I've created stuff I might even label as porn.   One thing that pisses me off though, why do ignorant people get to define my intent of my images and what I like?

I am tired of the conservative side getting to frame the issues and the progressives always being on the defensive.  Fuck, I thought we decisively won the last election, but we sure don't act like it.

Leila 3b - 052010

There have only been two times since the new administration came in that I felt the progressives framed the issues.  Pelosi and Obama took charge and framed the issue in the last months of the health care legislation battle and got the thing passed.  It is not a perfect piece of legislation, but much better than the prior systems.  The second was when progressive lawmakers made banking officials and conservatives squirm during the recent financial reform battles.  Thanks to the shenanigans of Goldman Sachs, AIG, and other big institutions, they made it even easier to point out the need for more discipline.  As a lady on the bus told me yesterday, "Any game, whether football, life, or the banks, needs lines to set the boundaries and referees to keep an eye on the game.  Without them, it would stop being an organized system and go into chaos."

It is time we frame the argument.  Instead of defending our art, culture, and lives, why don't we ask the Palins/Coulters, "Why are you ashamed of your bodies?  Why should we be ashamed of enjoying and seeking sex?  Why are you ruining it for everyone?  What are you trying to teach your children?  Sex is the devil's toy??  Does all that moral teaching of the dangers of sex work?"



On NPR, I heard a story that blue states tend to have people getting married at an older age (late twenties and older), having children at an older age, and staying married longer and in higher numbers than red states.  (Please listen to the story) Red states tend to socialize their children that sex is bad and avoid giving realistic education in general, and sex especially, to them.  That is part of the reason young adults in red states tend to get pregnant much younger (under 25), getting married before they have defined who they are as adults, and then divorcing when they discover they married the wrong person for the wrong reasons.  I wont even get into how many of these divorces are caused by people who got married too young and finally accepted they were gay as they grew older.  I wonder if Bristol Palin would have learned something living in a blue state?

How can the red states defend this track record of crappy "family values" of unwed mothers, early marriage and divorces?  The blue states are the ones truly supporting family values by educating their kids better in both sex and all other subjects, teaching them to enjoy life, be careful, find out who you are, establish yourself as an adult and then maybe get married and have kids.  Who cares if your spouse is the same sex or not.  At least you are more likely to stay together.

I offer up this deal to all of Palin's  uptight followers.  I promise I will not judge your plain vanilla, under-the- blankets, in-the-dark, without-foreplay sex if you don't judge my sexual interests, fetishes, kinks, and practices either.  The funny thing is though, I know most of you do the same "dirty" things too.  The difference is I enjoy mine without guilt.  Can you say the same thing?

Leila and Hanna - Triptych of the same image 052010

Now, a note on a few risque photos.  Some may define them as porn, but I put them here for both artistic and prurient pleasures.  I am not ashamed of enjoying such images in both artistic and erotic ways.  Why should I be, Ann and (resigned) Gov. Palin?

NOTE - On Leila3b, a enlargement of Leila3, I love the four or so pubic hairs that are rebelling out of the top of her panties.  It brings back memories of the rich posts from last year cherishing the beauty of pubic hair.  It is damn sexy.

Speaking in Another's Voice or Even My Own

LH - 040810 - C

Who gets to write or create other forms of art outside of their own demographic groups?  Can I write a story about a woman, or an Asian immigrant, or a any other person other than a white male?

A dozen years ago my wife and I read She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb.  It is a first-person story of woman from childhood through mid-life.  My wife asked, "Why do male authors writing through a female character always focus so much on their period?"

I thought about it and offered up that men often process visual and physical information and the period is a physical female characteristic.  It is also something we have no first-hand knowledge about so it is a curiosity we want to explore through writing.  These authors often go into detail about the physical manifestations of female arousal as well by including descriptions of wetness and nipple hardness.  I am guessing it is again the physical things we see, but have not experienced.  Few male authors go into the feelings behind these physical items and events.

My wife responded that focusing on these events from a man's view lowers the credibility of the author's writing and character development.  I agreed.

Kathryn Stockett's book, The Help,  takes place in the South during the civil rights movement.  Many of the characters are black housemaids and domestic servants.  Most critics and readers praise the book, but some feel that a white woman can not and should not write in and for the voice of the black woman since she is not of that background and is at best waxing nostalgic and worst writing in a condescending or patronizing way about these issues.

LH - 040810 -DeSC

Dr. L wrote an interesting movie review of The Hurt Locker which is the Oscar winning story of a US ordinance disposal group in the Iraq.  In her review she wrote about how the female director's telling of the story made this movie unique:

"Bigelow handles this grim subject matter with a woman's sensitivity and attention to the smallest details. The story is told by the images - a fly on the eyelashes of a sniper, the defiant faces of people in the street, a peddler of pornographic DVDs set up in a marketplace next to a butcher displaying sides of meat, bright wires spread out like a spiderweb to a ring of deadly explosives. "

and

"I will argue that only a woman's eye could have given us this film"

I've read criticism of The Hurt Locker from ordinance disposal veterans and soldiers stating the themes were sensationalized, hokey, preachy, or off mark.  Some of these criticisms may stem from having to make an entertaining movie and some due to the political views and focus of the director and story.  Should a woman tell the story of men in war?  If yes, why is that acceptable?



So, with all of these opinions and criticisms, when is it acceptable to write or create art in a non-native voice?  Even if the quality of the product is lauded, some may feel it is not right since the creator can not correctly produce work since she/he is not part of that community. 

I find this challenge to acceptance very challenging in my art  due to being a white male.  When I tried to create something from a different voice, I received the criticism listed above.  When I created something from my own voice that has erotic or nude content, I've been challenged that my work exhibits the (white) male's gaze.  It is part of the dominant culture's work, so it is not new and  perpetuate white male dominance in culture or even repress the voices and objectify other groups.

LH - 040810 -BW

In a recent discussion/portfolio review, a female artist showed her work consisting of an erotic nature.  Some of her work was similar to mine and other male photographers work I've seen.    I showed some of my photos of Candace and received reviews and criticism.  I am open to how others view my work because art is a subjective personal experience.  I appreciated the interpretations.  I had to ask though, why is Victoria's photos of similar themes accepted differently than mine?  The answer was because I am a man and my motivation and message was different than hers due to my gender (which I do not argue against).  That is probably true, but why is my art criticized as being of less value?  No direct answer was given, but being part of the dominant cultural voice (white male), my work is not innovative for my background and hers is.

Can I create art that comes from my artistic voice even though that voice is of an unpopular majority member?  I was told if I continue with these streams of art during an MFA program, I would be challenged and have a difficult educational journey.  I could create art with environmental, economic, bends with little problem since they tend to be gender/race free.  I could try creating erotic art with a queer theme, but would be challenged since I am not gay.  My acceptable themes appear to be much narrower than other groups' since the history of white men have spoken enough about them.

So what?  Maybe it is time to create the "unacceptable."  Isn't that part of the purpose of art is to push what is acceptable or even break it?  If a woman wants to make a war movie, she should go for it and create the best she can.  If I want to create art that is either outside of who I am or deeply inside my identity, I can do it because that is the art I need to make.  It may not have an audience now, or never that appreciates it, but that is not my purpose for creating it.  Sometimes art is naive and needs to grow up to be relevant.  Sometimes it is the world that needs to grow up and stop limiting thoughts of old issues in order to appreciate the art.

One Year On

It Started with Leila

December 15, 2008 Mission and Vision of the blog

I am pulled to simple messages, photos, images, sounds, and art. Sometimes the simplest things say the most things. The sensual world around us is so sweet and simple, yet will mess with our mind for days and make us wonder "what the fuck was that?" Those are the delicious moments I live for.

I am going to post my writings, photos, thoughts, moods, or whatever is needed for the time. My spelling is nominal, my grammar is almost acceptable. That will not be my point. I will also share works of others (and of course cite them) that I find important for the moment. This will not always be a daily blog, but I hope to contribute things that took some time to create or find and not just post something to show I posted.

What it was and what it became:
I was searching for clarity about what I wanted and desired in my art, creativity, sensual needs, and tried to create an outlet for all of these. I wrote some half-baked, long, sort-of haikus, sort-of poems, and rambled on about being randy. Now it feels like it focuses more on art and less on other life stuff. It has kind of reversed over the year.

I look back to the early days and see an edginess that I really like and kind of miss. It was much more raw. My writing had a yearning to express things I had never shared in my life. I also was trying to find my writer's voice. I dabbled in everything, especially sex and art. I am not sure if I regret the evolution of this blog to where it is now. I miss the old reckless abandon of the early posts though. I wonder if these changes reflect my efforts to avoid alienating readers with unpopular topics and imagery or just said all the wild things I needed to say?

Some of my most personal blogs shared a story of a friend's suicide, my bi-sexual curiosities, and a certain erotic story from Galicia, Spain. I still feel a bit raw when I read them and wonder of their value.

One of my favorite series of posts came from a comment someone left disparaging Katie's beautiful abundance of underarm hair. Dr. L wrote some great posts about it and that issue kept creeping back a couple of times. I hope some good came out of that discourse. My preference for women and body hair, if you are happy with it shaved or fully grown, then I am too. Both are sexy because the woman hopefully feels sexy with or without it.

I noticed many posts were inspired by reading others' blogs. Some of these bleed-over topics included censorship, sex, artist's anguish, and erotic imagery. I want to thank those who helped me carry on a conversation they started. I hope my additions pushed the topics further or in new directions.

Thanks to this blog and the many appreciated comments, I am starting to understand my artistic voice. I am not sure what the future of this blog holds. I appreciate the outlet and the many readers I've learned from. You kindred spirits are very important to me.

Resting

By the numbers:
Posts: 308 started, 281 published
6,258 visits from 85 countries
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First photo of mine uploaded: 1/25/09 Leila and Hana (Ying and Yang)


Date of first comment: 1/24/09 Chris St. James Also first follower!
Date of last comment: 12/10/09 Dr. L.
Followers: 20

Holding the Precious

What is too far and or too soon? Part 2

Iteration 7
Photo by Karl

In a previous post I asked how does society and culture define when a subject is too far "over the line" or is "too soon" after a major event. In these two posts, I am not giving an answer since I am an individual, not the society. I could tell you what I think is too far or too soon, but you can disagree.

I wrote this lengthy post the same day I wrote part 1 from this series. David from Speaking Truth gave a response the next day that applies to both days' posts. Dave wrote:

Your question: "What is too far, or too soon?" is as vague a question as, What is art and what is porn?, or What is art and what is crap?
Each of us has a set idea in our heads.
One must go back to the basics. If it is created by someone to spark an interest, be that a good or bad interest, it becomes art. I don't seperate art from porn. I have my own ideas about what I consider porn, but is also art. So I take things, whether I like them or not as being art. But there is poor art as well. Art does not cease to be because it was done poorly, it just makes it bad art. And as an artist I feel that other artists have the right to create anything they want. There should be no limits set on what is too far as long as others are not hurt in the process. If you want to create an image of a woman being raped (and she is not actually being raped) go for it. It is not hurting anyone. If some person thinks it is terrible, they don't have to look at it.
Too soon?
Well, you can't hurt Michael Jackson's reputation so I say there can't be too soon with that one. That may have been a poor example, but once again the creator of a joke is somewhat of an artist also and why should that person be put under restrictions. There were more jokes around my hometown about Michael Jackson years before he was dead than there is now, so why should we have a moment of silence just because he died?
If you are going to say it is too soon, or too far, you are putting a restriction on something based on what someone else thinks is too soon or too far and that makes no sense to me. If you want to put a self restriction on your work as the artist based on your own feelings, then pick what is comfortable for you.
And to hell with what others think.

Some groups would say my photo of Candace is too extreme because of the nudity. They may also say the photo of Leila and Hana kissing is wrong because it shows homosexual content. We wont even go into what they may think of the more graphic photos of Leila and Hana.

Leila and Hana - The Kiss
Photos by Karl

Others may find these photos no where near any line and not edgy at all. This other group may even think it is tame, cliche and boring. They may think that the edge of erotic art is what most consider porn and/or BDSM and other "extreme" activities.

Getting There
Photo by Karl
(Note, photo take in May, 2004, well before March, 2009)

Which of these two groups are right? From where you stand, you don't think you are "in the extreme." You may know you stand away from the crowd, but you feel your beliefs are correct. Most groups believe the others are the ones that are over the line or are wrong.

Almost There
Photo by Karl
(Note, photo take in May, 2004, well before March, 2009)

I've shown my erotic nudes and artistic nudes to various people. I've been praised by many for both and have been looked down upon by a few as well. I wont get into what each group believed about my photos or their motivation for their beliefs. That alone could take pages of analysis. What is important is both groups believe they are right.

There
Photo by Karl
(Note, photo take in May, 2004, well before March, 2009)

Now, how do we, as a society decide what is right or wrong. I know that overall, most citizens of the world will agree on the same boundaries. Murder, rape, child abuse, starvation, genocide, and child slavery are easy examples. What is difficult is defining an overall consensus for everyone as a group. In my opinion, that overall consensus on gray issues is impossible.

I work and live in the San Francisco area. In my office, there are three gays and lesbians that are married to their partners. There are many other openly gay employees. While I can't speak for everyone in the 100+ group of employees, most people are supportive and are happy or don't really think about it. How would those same couples be viewed in an office in Bakersfield, CA? How about Billings, MT, New York City or Tallahassee, Fl?

I used to hunt when I was a teenager. Even though I haven't hunted in almost twenty years, I do believe in the environmental need for it and understand how it is a part of the culture I grew up in. The few times I've shared these views with the people around here, they seem to feel uncomfortable and awkward at the least and upset in more extreme cases. I guess the reason they feel that way may be due to the lack of exposure to the culture I grew up in. If they grew up where it is common to be a hunter, they may be more comfortable with it due to a familiarity with it.

Just Two
Does it stop being porn if it is in black and white?
Photo by Karl

This familiarity maybe a key to my question, how do we define too far or too soon? The SF area may be more accepting about gay/lesbian culture because we are exposed to it regularly and it is becoming an accepted part of our geographical culture. The same is true about hunting and my Montana upbringing, familiarity helps things become normal.

Ok, that is just peachy. Through building familiarity we can build tolerance. What if we build a tolerance to pollution or racism or other social ills because it is part of our culture and is familiar, is that wrong? Yes. Through this, you can see how both the supporters and opposition to nude photos and other "edgy" art can feel their way of life is threatened. I am not saying it is right, just that you may be able to see why they feel threatened.

I feel threatened by the heavy hand of 2257, the Patriot Act, and many other scary laws. I feel those are threatening what I am familiar with and feel is acceptable. To the supporters of those views, they feel the opposite threat.

Now for the final question for this series? What is either one of the purposes or the purpose of art? Part of the post modern art movement emphasizes that the content is more important than the artistic or technical qualities of the art. With this belief, Robert Frank showed us the alienation and loneliness of the USA through his book, The Americans. Andy Warhol created art that made us look at the everyday mundane things like a soup can and by twisting our perception of it, change how we view these things. Diane Arbus, definitely not one of my favorites, showed us that portraits of people did not have to be pretty. She made us feel awkward looking at her photos. Her art evoked emotions from us by emphasizing the subject and the message, not how beautiful the print is. I could write about the beautiful and agonizing work of Salgado, the inflaming works by Mappelthorpe and Andres Serrano, but you get the point. Isn't one of the main purposes of art to push our boundaries?

"When People look at my pictures I want them to feel the way they do when they want to read a line of a poem twice." - Robert Frank

So, to come back full circle, what is too far or too soon? If I am an artist and I want to push the viewer's boundaries, how far can I go? I guess I can always find some niche group that will accept my photos and praise them (or despise them), but to make a big change, I have to be willing to take heat and derisive comments when showing my photos beyond the culture I am familiar with. As David said:

If you want to put a self restriction on your work as the artist based on your own feelings, then pick what is comfortable for you.
And to hell with what others think.

So, I am starting to think about where I want my art to go. In the future, not all of them will be pretty or easy to look at. Maybe I am feeling a post modern need to get messages out rather than beauty.

I like it when somebody looks at my art and it makes them think. I bet most artists like that.

Touching the Flesh

PJ Harvey and Nick Cave - Henry Lee
Photo by Rocky Schenck
See the sensual music video here

I learned in my photography class to think about how the model(s) touch skin is important to the photo. We need to see how lightly or tightly we touch the flesh of ourselves or others. This touching adds to the narrative of the story by showing relationship, emotion, alertness, and closeness.

In my work, there are three levels of contact between flesh. They are:

"Kiss the Flesh" - This is when one touches the flesh so softly it is like a butterfly kiss. It is the softest touch around. It can be sensual, comforting, or just getting someone's attention.

Discovering
Photo by Karl

"Caress the Flesh" - This is when you rest your hand, or other body part, caresses the skin, maybe even cupping it. This can be a reassuring touch, a sensual caress, or just resting your hand.

Sigh
Photo by Karl

"Press the Flesh" - This is when one presses into the skin. This could be a grasp, a push, or many other possible examples. This can be sensual hold, a violent grab, or just the photographer resting his chin and jaw in his hand.

Prosperina
Bernini

While there are three degrees of touch, not including pinching, scratching, and other types of contact, there are numerous different messages from each. They can communicate love, caring, anger, caution, arousal, ecstasy, danger, sympathy, and concern among many other messages.

I think showing the touch is a crucial part of the photo. It helps make it human.

Below are examples of the three types. You decide the message sent by it. As you can see, they aren't always erotic, or even caring.

Other Times
Photo by Karl

A Taste
Photo by Karl

Truman Capote, New York, 1965
Irving Penn

Adjustments
Photo by Karl

Richard Avedon
Photo by Irving Penn

"Self Titled"
Photo by Karl

" "

Photo by Karl

Ian Mckellen
Photo by Nadav Kander

Waiting
Photo by Karl

Arm Grab
Photo by Pete Colm

Glamour?
Photo by Karl
Katie 3
Photo by Karl
L and H
Photo by Karl

Couple
Photo by Photobunny

Candace Nirvana 103109
Photo by Karl

Massage
Photo by John Wright

Resting Between Cameras
Photo by Karl

Untitled
Photo from Getty Images

Preliminary Motions
Photo by Karl

Andy Warhol's Scars
Photo by Richard Avedon

Untitled
Photo by Peter Denman

"F O"
Photo by Karl