Being SmallLast month I was walking out of my class and Mollee and Andrea were chatting in the parking lot. As I got my car keys out, Mollee asked, "Karl, how tall are you?" I replied with my standard 6'4"-unless-I-am-wearing-heels answer. Mollee's only response was, "Damn. You are tall." I hadn't heard that one before.
When you are over 6', you are tall. It is curious how people have to tell me the obvious. It seems a bit absurd. They don't tell me, "Karl, you are white!" That is just about as obvious as my being four inches into space.
I do not complain about being tall. It is just how it is. I can reach objects on the top shelf and see the dust on top of the refrigerator. I've learned to either bend with my knees or squat when I have to do low-down work. My back is healthy and I need to keep it that way.
While I try to respect the people I meet, I do look down on them... literally, not figuratively. I have no choice. Sadly, most tall people compensate by slouching, which looks bad and is very harmful to our backs. After someone once told me to stand tall and be proud, I thought about how silly it is to slouch. There is no reason. I am tall, you are shorter. It doesn't mean anything except the obvious physical differences.
On rare occasions I meet people taller than me. It is odd to look up and see someone. On a few very rare occasions (only twice that I can think of) I've met women taller than me. One was my date to prom. It was awkward at first dancing with someone a half inch taller than me. It felt good. We both commented on how it was to be with someone similar. Nothing became of that relationship, but our prom pics are still unique for both of us. Here is an interesting article at the blog, The Other Tall Girl. It is good to read it from the woman's perspective.
Interestingly, all my girlfriends have been under 5'1". It is not that I seek out women that are over a foot shorter than me, but it is what I am unconsciously drawn to and that seem drawn to me.
A few years ago, my hair stylist told me my hair was thinning up top. I was getting "too tall for my hair." She said, "Don't worry, you are tall. No one will see it." I had to remind her that when I was sitting in her barber's chair, she could see it. So, when sitting, tall does not mean much
Another interesting place where tall does not matter much is in bed. Since both of our heads are on the pillows, we are the same height. So when sleeping, I am not tall. Sex though is another story. Being tall opens certain possibilities and rules out others. I've learned what works.
It is funny, there aren't too many tall jokes other than comments about the weather up there. I've heard short jokes though and wonder why short people get teased for that. Being tall does not make me a better person than others. Tall people get teased about having big feet. I have size 13 shoes. My dad, who is two inches taller than me and wears 15s, was nicknamed "acre foot" by his coworkers. I have to admit, that one is funny. I am sometimes called the "gentle giant." When I hear that I think about the song Behind Blue Eyes by The Who and wonder if those who call me that truly know me.
Speaking of "Gentle Giant" and other tall names and stereotypes, here are a few more.
- Tall people are natural leaders. Untrue. I am not a great leader. I can lead when needed, but I am not better at it because I am tall. I've been lead by short people and followed them because I believe in them. It is the charisma and intellect, not the vertical measurements.
- Tall guys are good at basketball and football. There is a reason I threw shot put and discus and did not play basketball or football. I am lousy at those team sports.
- Tall people are physically awkward. Sort of true. I think we are no more clumsy or awkward than anyone else, especially growing up. The awkward part though is having to fit into small chairs, hit our heads on things, and deal with a world that is not designed for our height. I would not be surprised if short people have the same issues, just in the opposite direction. Where I can not set my car seat back far enough, they can't get it forward enough.
- Tall men, or those with big feet, are generously endowed. I like that one and will neither confirm nor deny it.
I used to be a math and science teacher. I now teach science and federal compliance stuff at my job. Whenever I am debuting a new course, I always wear my black cowboy boots (my version of high heels) for good luck and also because they are my most comfortable shoes. Once, a coworker noticed this trend and asked me about it. I told him I did that to feel taller and to have more of a presence in the room. He did not know I was joking and stammered out, "But Karl, you are already tall." I had to laugh at that one.
As a photographer, I've noticed many of my photos are taken at my eye level. If the subject is a person, you will see what I see. At the conference I attended last month, I showed two photos of Candace where I am above her. Some of the viewers took a feminist reading of my message of male dominance over the subject. I am not consciously trying to show a dominance in these photos, just sharing what I see. Too be honest, the subjects or models in my photos often have just as much power as I do in the moment. I wonder if shorter photographers are told their work shows a submissiveness message because they are looking up?
At times, I would rather be shorter. Clothes would be easier to find. My knees would be comfortable when sitting in chairs. I would have more choices in the cars I could drive. I wouldn't bump my head on the overhead luggage bins every fucking time I stand up in an airplane. While these are huge inconveniences, I am not about to have six inches cut out of my legs to fit better.
So, what is the point of all this tall talk. Not much. I just saw Avatar, and after seeing the tall blue main characters, I got to thinking about height. To paraphrase a saying from an old post of mine, "It is okay to be recognized as tall or short by those who notice it, just please don't stare."
