hold

Something new!

I came out of the photography closet and started a new blog today.  I proudly own it and stand behind it with my full name.   Please take a look at the new space.  It is in its infancy, so not much content, but you know I am a pretty regular writer/poster if you read this blog.  My new blog is called Looking about.

This is the last post for this blog.  Once again - I appreciate all of you and hope you had a good ride.  Good bye.

Tschüß, До свидания, Ciao, Adios

Nothing to look at here.  Keep on moving along.

Many pilgrims sailing to distant lands beached their ships, burned them to the ground and moved on to their ultimate destination.   They did this to remove the temptation of going back to what was familiar and forced them to move on to their new lives.  In Viking cultures, the fallen warrior's body rested on a ship and the family and friends would set it ablaze to say goodbye and send him in to Valhalla.  This blog is now beached.    This blog is dead.  I am burning it down soon to clear some clutter from my life.  It served its purpose.

I originally created The Sensual 5-7-5 as an outlet for my artistically and erotically repressed soul.  I was a naive blogger who had much to learn.  It evolved into the Sensual 7 Seconds,  and finally became the The Photo Fermata.  Through all of these iterations I used it as a sounding board of ideas,  to share rants and raves, to expose readers to ideas, art, and life, to seek glory, to share my dark secrets and to learn what it means to produce in the pixel forest.  It did this.  Too be honest though, I don't think the blog is worth what it once was.

To grunt and sweat under a weary life - Hamlet  3/1 - Shakespeare

I had the wind taken out of my sails a little while ago concerning this piece of myself known as the Photo Fermata.  Diminishing readership, declining comments, and staleness show me it is time to light the torch and burn it down.

Thanks to those who followed and commented.  I appreciate the friendships we made.  I will continue to read and enjoy all the blogs I currently follow.  To my readers, enjoy the old posts.  Feel free to comment.  I leave this burned out hulk as a vestige of my tiny tree in the overly dense pixel forest.

I hope you all find your place in the world and maybe our paths will cross again.

Tschüß,

Karl

 

Someday You Will Have Say Goodbye to the Sun

Someday you will have to say "goodbye" to the sun.
You will bid farewell to the moon, the sky, the clouds, and the stars.
As all things that live, we dim out to a smoking wick, our quiet goodbyes to those things that were  always with us acknowledge we were the grain and they were the beach.
They may not hear our goodbyes, but their existence in our beings need to be recognized and bid proper adieu.

 

 

One of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie, Pulp Fiction

Photo Fermata went shopping for a new outfit

Valya -011211

Photo Fermata went shopping for a new outfit and is still trying on the new duds before settling on the layout.  Thanks to Valya for helping me create one of my best images last year.

There are a few other minor changes to the blog look, but I think you can see the big changes at face value..

The original - Valya - 011211

Valya stencil - 011211

RE-POST Scary shit in Arizona is spreading..

Don't - Joshua Tree National Park

RE- POST  Originally posted on May 5, 2010

First they passed a law in the name of immigration reform allowing police to legally harass you for being brown.  Now non-white groups lost their right to learn about their history and culture in public schools.   I am sure the liberal arts will be next.

 CNN Conversation on Arizona's ethnic studies law (Basically two pundits blasting each other)


So many are making a poison in our country.  This poison pits cultures, races, beliefs, religions, art and educational systems against each other.  This poison of divisiveness is tearing a hole in our country.

I was too young to develop memories of the turmoil of the 60's and 70's.  My only memories are vague unease and stronger memories of the malaise President Carter commented about. Maybe it is time for another cultural revolution.   I fear though it may not be a peaceful one.


As I wrote on April 16th:

I look to the four compass points
and am starting to see
the division lines for battles
scratched in varying grounds.

Some are for ideals
some are for religion
some are for freedom for some
some are for closing others in

We are heading to our own chosen lines
we scratch with a sharp, jagged stick
to stand behind and look across to the adversary
then slowly turn our backs to
so we no longer acknowledge
they may be more like us than not.

Is it an itch or a scab?

NYC - 010711

Damn. I have that itch.  I really need to get out of Dodge and go to New York.  It is like that lustful itch that nothing but the real thing will satiate.  I would be happy as a clam to be sitting on a subway car watching the stops come and go with the daily humanity shuffling about me. 

NYC - 010711

I wonder though if that itch is in need of a scratch or is a scab covering something hurt and could leave a scar.  Sadly, the earliest I will get back to that place is October.  Until then, I guess I am left to look at my images and watching TV shows and movies set there.

What are your favorite movies or TV shows set in NYC that truly reflect the life and locale of that city?

New frontiers

Valya -  010611

Do you remember that precise moment in your life when you realized, acknowledged and knew, "I am in love."?  What about the first time you flew to another country and got off the airplane... and all the signs were different? 

I remember the moment when my dog, Paloma, took her last breath and died.  At that moment of transition I felt so suddenly alone, sad, and raw.  My favorite place in Montana is driving east along Highway 200 between Missoula and Great Falls and getting to that magic moment where the Rocky Mountains suddenly end and the Great Plains hits you with its great expanse.

Rocky Mountain Front/Great Plains outside of Browning, MT - 010611

I am fleshing out an idea for a photo series.  It is still very abstract and nebulous to me.  The theme is "Borders, Boundaries, and Tipping Points".    As a psychology and education graduate, I've always been both perplexed and fascinated by that moment, location, feeling, event, etc., that signals the change or demarcation of what was and what is and will be.  We can see what came before and maybe even predict what comes after it, but what is special about that place, time, and experience that turns us around, points us in a into new direction, puts us in another country, or makes us realize we are in love or the love is gone.

Valya - 010611

Courtney - 010611

Even though these areas have always subconsciously interested me all my life, I never thought to formally explore them.  I stumbled upon this idea of trying to capture it after showing an artist/photographer friend these photos of Valya and Courtney.  He said, "Karl - these two photos are important.  They are threshold moments.  What is about to happen right now in each changes everything."


Where is that line in SF between the high-end Union Square area and its rough and dirty neighbor, the Tenderloin?  What is going through the mind of the beautiful woman at the moment where "yes" becomes the answer?  When is the point in time where an era ends and another one replaces it?  Where is that point when one more RPM destroys the engine?  At what point does that person in from of you become "one of us" or "one of them"? 

 Right now I am exploring the meaning for words like decision, boundary, border, etc., to find that gossamer of a moment where we pivot, retreat, or march ahead and all changes.  I need to figure out where these locations are in the world and in our minds.  The challenge will then be to figure out how to capture that moment. 

I encourage everyone to share moments of when everything changed, what made that instant powerful, and what did that exact moment mean to you.  You can share them in the comments section or send me an email at sidebphotography@gmail.com.

Without a helmet

Crossing Houston Street near Katz's deli - NY - 010411

Sometimes I feel like I am taking on all the traffic in the world...  while on a bike... without a helmet.

Tourist hint - Be careful how you pronounce the name of Houston Street.  It will peg you as an outsider instantly.   According to Wikipedia:

The pronunciation of "Houston" confuses many people from outside of New York – invariably becoming one of the easiest signs of spotting tourists – because the letters "ou" are pronounced as in the word house (pronounced /ˈhaʊstən/), whereas the same letters in the name of the city of Houston, Texas are pronounced like the "u" in huge (pronounced /ˈhjuːstən/ or /ˈjuːstən/, "HYOO-stin"). This is because Houston Street was named for William Houstoun – note that the spelling is different – before the fame of Sam Houston, for whom the city in Texas is named.

Bonus trivia - SoHo = South of Houston.

Watch what you swallow.

SoHo - NYC - 010310

My Uncle Terwilliger on the Art of Eating Popovers

My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant’s bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with
a penetrating stare…
Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
“To eat these things,”
said my uncle,
“you must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what’s solid…
BUT…
you must spit out the air!”

And…
as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,
that’s darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow. - Theodore Geisel

Maybe this should be my new resolution for the year... be careful of what I swallow.

How many calendars did you get for Christmas?

Washington Square Park - NYC - 010211

Seems like I always get a few, but not this year.  None.  I will take everyone's word for it, we are in 2011.

I really miss that city.

Photo first

SoHo Street Corner - 123110

Good bye 2010 - you were magical and "tragical"...

Photo first

Kate Moss - NYC Street Art Poster - 123010

Trying something new.  I am selecting a photo(s) first and letting it inspire the whole post.  For today, I wanted to explore these images of Kate Moss I found in two separate alleys a half mile apart) in SOHO.

I am a big fan of good street art.  I don't care whether it is spray-painted, written, or stickers/posters stuck to something. It is vandalism and damages property.  I know that and I believe it is a part of the aggressive nature of this art form, similar to street musicians and performers.  Most ignore both, some love the expression, others despise the visual/sound pollution and destruction of property both put out.


Where is the art in these pieces?  For me, it was the content, placement, location and surrounding environment that made them both powerful.  The top one has Kate below a red light staring at you... daring you to enter this door she overlooks.  The scribbled pink swishes framing her and the touch of pink on her nipple makes as strong vertical leading to her breast and face.  It is all about her vacant, yet judging stare. 

Kate Moss x 2, NYC Street Art Poster - 123010

The second photo shows someone covered up other street art with both Kates with an eye for strategic placement.   Underneath both Kates and the shoe is a line drawn sketch of two people holding each other in a park.  It is a peaceful moment of privacy that is being squashed by Kate (and all the corporate, fashion, glamor, drugs, over-consumption and style empire she represents.  On top of Kate is a man's shoe squashing her down as well.  The shoe could represent "the man" crushing all that does not directly serve him or is a tool for crushing others.

As with this type of art, you may disagree with my analysis and even with the idea this is art.  That is the beauty of art - it doesn't have to work for everyone.  If it did, it would only be pop kitsch. 

Promises, promises, promises

Valya - 122910

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.  ~Author Unknown

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.  ~John Selden


The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.  ~George William Curtis

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.  ~Mark Twain, speech in New York City, 31 March 1885 

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty?  I live according to twenty-year-old habits.  ~Andre Gide
 
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.  ~Joey Adams

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.
~F.M. Knowles

I made no resolutions for the New Year.  The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.  ~Anaïs Nin

Oh, the old habit to make new ones takes to my mind this time of year.  What will I start doing?  Stop doing?  Do more of?  Do less of?  Who will I do more of with?  These are all parts of the resolutions I am looking at starting at midnight Saturday.


Health - A slow diet and increased activity to shed some unwanted Michelin affliction that returned last year.  The slow diets tend to work better since they help form better and longer lasting habits.  

I really enjoy getting out and being active.  I am vague about the type because I like doing many different ones.  The perfect activities include: hiking, biking, running, lifting, sex, kayaking, skiing, and many other activities.  The key is not to get into a rut of the same stuff.  I get bored pretty fast.

Valya-122910

Art - As I mentioned a few days back, I need to work on a few aspects of my photography.  
First, I need to take more photos.  I get rusty, complacent, and bored if I am not taking photos and creating *fine images from them.  I am trying to schedule time with a great model in early February. 


Second, I need to work on getting ready for my next stage of life and art, getting an MBA.  I've said enough about that journey in a prior post.  This includes financial planning and saving for paying for the jump to school.


Third, I need to see more art of others and learn what I can steal, appropriate, and use as influences in my stuff.


Fourth,  I need to increase my skills, especially Photoshop and other application abilities.  I don't believe in heavily manipulating my images and call it truth, but I don't mind messing them up and distorting their realities.  

As for all the other stuff... maybe 2012.

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel.  Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.  ~W.H. Auden   

*"Fine" does not mean the same as the defined "fine print" for me.  It means I have refined it down to what I want it to be.  Whether it meets Ansel, Edward's, etc.,  criteria does not matter a whit to me.

PHOTO NOTES - God, how did I miss these?  I went through my photos of Valya tonight and these two were in the discard pile.  I found a bunch more that I tossed and am happy with. 

What next???

5 Pointz - Queens, New York - 122610

"Dígame algo profundo."  - A daily challenge from one of my Spanish professors during my undergrad foreign language classes.  It means - "Tell me something profound."  Since my Spanish was basic and I could only speak in the present and future tense, the profundity of my response was very questionable. 

So, when I put up a title like, "What next???", it sounds very profound and alas... it isn't.  I am thinking short term, like next semester.  Next semester I am taking two classes at my favorite local college.  Both are important for helping me get ready for my MFA program.

5 Pointz - Queens, New York - 122610

The first course is history of art from the Renaissance to today.  I took this, and other art courses, twenty years ago during my initial undergrad years, but most MFA programs require an art history class taken in the last 5-10 years.  I am looking forward to it... again.


The second course is more of an independent working course, but with 17 other photographers.  I am taking a Professional Portfolio Development course.  It doesn't have much classroom time, but lots of critiques and individual time with the instructor working on my portfolio.  I really need this for my MFA application.

As mentioned in yesterday's post, my job situation is precarious.  The college classes are pretty inexpensive, so if my job gets axed, I will be able to stay in school.

I am getting impatient to start my MFA, but I remind myself by saying, "baby steps."  All of this makes me want to get my camera out today and photograph... something.  I have no idea what and that is a problem I will save for another post.

Until then, ciao bellas. 

Photo note - Taken at the 5 Pointz buildings in Long Island City, Queens.  These buildings are specially set aside for graffiti and street art muralists to use.  It is very temporary art with most murals being painted over in only a month or two.  I highly recommend it.

As I sit

River Cam - 122510

It is a low-key Christmas.  I'm sitting in a Berkeley coffee shop while my wife is at mass at her uber-liberal Catholic parish.  I'm neither jolly, nor ho-ho-ho, but I am not a Grinch either.  After 41 Christmases, this day has little meaning to me other than a time to wish others well. 

I am not asking for a Christmas miracle to thaw my frozen heart.  My Christian belief does not rely on celebrating the false birthday of the religion's namesake.  The fact that the church moved it to be near a pagan solstice makes the date meaningless.  (I am not disparaging winter solstice, it is my favorite day of the year.)

Next year is tenuous.  Over half of the department I work in will be laid off.  We have four courses we will be tracked to.  1.  Job is safe for another year.  2. Job is cut immediately.  3.  Job will last x months until duties/responsibilities can be transferred or outsourced.  4.  Job is relocated and I have to move or quit.  We find out by January 31st.

My health has been declining for the past half year.  Most of it is self-inflicted due to handling stress poorly and adding more stress by my own stupidity to my life.  My life is no where near endangered in the short term, but I am doing a great job of taking a decade off it on the tail end.

My art is a high point.  I am excited about it.  I like the darker turn it has taken.  I am not just thinking of the images I made with Courtney, Valya and Moon, but in general.  I am starting to appreciate those tough bits of life around us that make us all the same, yet unique in how we approach them.

So, what are my plans for all this?  I need to take better care of myself.  That is going to be one of my two top priorities for 2011.  I need to find time to eat better, workout, and be outside. 

My other top priority is my art.  It takes two paths.  First, I need to actively and consistently creating and pushing it forward.  Second, I need to plan and implement strategies to get to the next steps - an MFA and teaching. 

Regardless of my job situation, I can work on these two areas.  I'd prefer to get laid off in 2012 since my wife will have her PhD and I can follow her to whichever university/college she teaches at.  The severance would be good seed money for helping with getting an MFA.  If I get the axe this year, I will simplify and find temporary jobs to maintain until I can move to the next step.  I guess if I get axed earlier, I will  have lots of time to exercise. 

So, I guess you were probably expecting a prophetic or (more likely) sappy Christmas message.  Not this year.  My wish for you though is based on the four gifts of faith - hope, joy, love, and peace.  I don't care if you are of my faith, another one, or none at all.  I think we all could use these four gifts.

Winter Solstice

Moon 122110

Winter Solstice -
I love the long darkness that is broken by short daylight illuminating a desaturated gray, white, black and muted colors world. 
I love the cold expressions of the earth - steam rising off the water, a dog's breath visible with every pant, the shivers of the people in line for the bus.
I enjoy this day when we are all the same gray beings shuffling about in our gloved lives. 
I see the world and all living things as they are - naked of pretense, color, or spark for at this time we exist to move toward the lighter longer days. 
Tomorrow is when every day will start getting longer and people come back to color, life,  purpose, pretension of what is going to sprout from the sky's warm light. 
Instead, this is the day when all pretension of the earth is stripped bare, we are naked of rich beauty and exposed as the raw, unadorned bones and leafless trees.

Hazy Shade of Winter - Paul Simon

Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That's an easy thing to say, but if your hope should pass away
It's simply pretend
That you can build them again  

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." ~ Henry Rollins

California Delta Fence - 122010

Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. ~ Paul Tillich 

I love photographers - Courtney

Courtney the photographer - 121910

A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.  ~Ansel Adams

For the final project in my class I photographed photographers I respect.  I wanted to capture them with one of their own images they love and/or feel great pride or connection to.  There are many examples of photographer portraits with their photos in the shot.  I wanted these to be different.  I wanted these to be big and for the photographer to become part of the photo since it is their art. 

The first person I worked with is my friend Courtney.  She chose this self-portrait that includes her former boyfriend.  I can see why this photo is important to her.  You can see more of my photos of Courtney from another session here. 

I want to thank all of the photographers who sat for me.  I will post some photos here that the photographers agreed I could share on this site.

Courtney the photographer - 121910

Unbearable lightness of coincidence???

Those who follow this blog know about two of my friends here, Carla and Valya (follow these links to read my Proust interviews with them).  Valya modeled for me in June and helped me follow my art in a new direction.  Carla is a long time friend of this blog. 

The coincidence - Carla's old alias was UL or Unbearable Lightness which comes from one of  her favorite books, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.  She used this alias for years at her blog, What We Saw Today.  This morning, Valya published a post with the title Unbearable Lightness of Being along with a photo of her posing in an amazing yoga stretch position that communicates strength, flexibility, and grace all in one.

As a part time scientist, I believe in "pure coincidence" as well as the opposite of it.  For now though, I like seeing two parts of my life intersect, however briefly and potentially coincidentally. 

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

California Delta Fence - 121610

If you didn't grow up in agriculture/livestock regions, you may not know the main purpose of barbwire fences.  You would think they are there to keep predators away from your livestock. That is a small part of it.  The main purpose of barbwire fences is to keep your livestock in a controlled area and prevent them from running away, getting hit by a vehicle, or mingling with your neighbors herd.   The invention of barbwire transformed the West from wild openness to closed agriculture empires.

Joshua Tree National Park - 121610

There are so many barbwire fences in our lives - things meant to keep us in.  Seat belts, social norms, sidewalks (to keep us from wandering into the streets), offices, cubicles, etc.  Our houses are our places to live our lives without intruding into the public.  I can get naked, dress, eat, read, watch tv, view porn, make love, scratch, belch, go to the bathroom, yell, listen to music, and do my personal stuff at home without it escaping into the world. 

I am neither a fence builder nor a fence wrecker.  We need them for safety and privacy.  They also hinder us from exploring out of bounds -  like kids learning to use crayons in coloring book and told "stay in the lines".  Barbwire is designed to scratch and cut both ways... those trying to get in and those trying to get out.  Nobody every straddles or sits on barbwire fence due to indecisiveness due to the rusty barbs.  Either you are in or out.  The question becomes, when is it right to get out?