Nowhere Man

Top of the World

Photo by SB

This is the song I awoke to this morning. How fucking depressing to wake up and have this song shape your mental state for the day.

Video

Video

He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere Man please listen,
You don't know what you're missing,
Nowhere Man,the world is at your command!

(lead guitar)

He's as blind as he can be,
Just sees what he wants to see,
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?

Nowhere Man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else
lends you a hand!

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere Man please listen,
you don't know what your missing
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command!

He's a real Nowhere Man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody!

PHOTO NOTE: At the top of the Beartooth Pass on the Montana/Wyoming border. 10,900 feet above sea level.

Alas, Babylon

Front cover of the book, Alas Babylon, by Pat Frank.

I tried reading this book in high school, but stopped after 30 pages. I found a battered first edition paper back of it for 10 cents and am reading it now.

It was written in 1959 and tells of a group survivors after a nuclear war between the USSR and the USA. It has many interesting points on race, religion, humanity, and other issues. One quote I found very memorable is the one below. Randy, the protagonist is talking to a neighbor, a retired admiral, about how the USA could be in such ruin.

"There are odd similarities between the end of the Pax Romana and the end of the Pax Americana which inherited the Pax Britannica. For instance, the prices paid for high office. When it became common to spend a million dollars to elect senators from moderately populated states, I think that should have been a warning to us. For instance, free pap for the massess. Bread and circuses. Roman spectacles and our spectaculars. Largesse from concquering proconsuls and television giveaways from the successful lipstick kings. To understand the present, you must know the past, yet it is only part of the answer and I will never discover it all. I have not the years."

It is interesting that in 1959, the author was looking at the end of Pax Americana by comparing it to the end of Pax Romana. The mention of the cost of electing senators for $1,000,000 seemed absurd then. Think about how much the last set of elections cost. Over $60,000,000 combined was spent on both sides of the California PROP 8 ballot issue banning same-sex marriages.

Same-sex couple Amber Weiss hugs her partner Sharon Papo as they get married at San Francisco City Hall June 17, 2008, in San Francisco.
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

I know I've preached on this before, but I feel it is a message needing to be heard again and again. Look at the crap, or pap, we are fed via tv and other media. We swallow with glee the seed of "Reality TV" thinking it is our life. We believe it is "real", or at least real important. When there was questioning over the validity in the recent American Idol voting, there was an uproar by the American swallowers that would overwhelm any squeak of discontent about recent supreme court decisions. "Roman spectacles and our spectaculars."

In the next few weeks, North Korea is probably going to launch a test missile toward Japan or Hawaii, oh wait, Michael Jackson died. That deserves 24 hour news coverage. We need Barbara Walters preempting all other evening programs with information on Jackson's early demise.
Our celebrity-obsessed culture takes another swallow. Jackson was influential in music. I understand radio stations suddenly playing a lot of his music. Did he deserve this much of our precious public attention at his death? He was not JFK or Abraham Lincoln.
If we are looking at the end of Pax Americana, there will be a vacuum to fill that space. Who will it be? Should we try to fight losing world dominance or is it our time to live in diminished importance?

I have one hope and he is our President. Obama is not a perfect president. He's pissed me off on a couple of his decisions. My hope stems from his greater candor and tranparency conpared to other administrations. He has already shared with us more information than Bush did in eight years.

Maybe we can learn that reality is not the show Top Model, but true things like: war, disease, economic ruin, humanitarian relief, nature, art, beauty, music, education, entertainment, pollution, sex, religioun, culture, violence, and what truly surrounds us. There is room for minor things like Hello Kitty and other fads. Fads should be a small side-show we mildly enjoy and not the all-consuming popular seed we swallow with a huge gratuitous smile, then wipe are lips and open our mouthes for the next.


NOTE: I do not have strong feeling about Michael Jackson. I liked some of his songs. I thought he was a bit of a freak at best. As for swallowing, I am using it as an analogy of our world's wanton consumption of gullability and pap. From a sexual point of view, swallowing is your personal preference. I think it is sexy, but if you don't like it, that is fine by me.

Pull

Faith in Bodie
Photo by SB

You pull me too close,
your lips brand their intent
into my soft neck

Your sultry hands pull
upon my reluctant needs, almost
shifting them to pull you back

Your eyes pull me into
your clouded world too close,
with animosity internal

I pull away too late
for our beings become polluted together
by a spreading stain

Listening to the Crickets

Evening Near Lavina, MT
Photo by SB

At times I hear them
when they should be blocked out
by the cacophony

They aren't always real,
just felt and heard in my soul
when I feel most alone

Is it peaceful solace
or just being abandoned and
lonely which brings them out?

Going Down Farm Road 2257

I got bored and typed "2257" into Google and then I laughed. Other than a Wikipedia article about the regulations, all the rest of the hits were the 2257 compliance statements for various adult websites.

I then selected the images and the road sign above appeared for FM 2257 (Farm Road) in Texas. I had to find out where that road is. Here is a map of its location. I then took the Google drive down the road to see what it was like living on 2257. It was full of pretty trees and farms. It was very straight and narrow. After the first few miles it all looked the same. Green trees and not many people. After a few more miles I gave up because the scenery along 2257 is too boring.


Please look at the screen capture of FM2257 above. You can see how boring it is. The interesting part though is the advertisement at the bottom,
"Gay Welcoming Church - www.UUA.org - We stand for marriage equality A faith that reaches out to BGLT"

I support the Unitarian Universalist's open and progressive beliefs, but I find it interesting that a church is the sponsored ad for this lonely section of road. Did they know I live near San Franciso? Do they assume I am gay? Is everyone driving down FM2257 searching for a church?

While I was researching this road, I thought of so many ways this lonely road in Texas is a metaphor (or analogy - I always get those two mixed up) for the regulations. Since Texas is about as conservative (except for the communist hub of Austin) as San Francisco is liberal, I wanted to classify the empty road and the people along it as a bunch of backward ignorant bible thumpers. I wanted to rant about how their narrow-minded world views are limiting my freedoms and restricting art. I changed my mind though because of the UUA church ad.

I don't know the people along FM2257. My gross generalizations about them may be unfounded, false and wrong. I should not prejudge them as the creators of regulation 2257 have prejudged that all artistic/erotic nude photographers create child pornography.

A Window About

There
Photo by SB

I look through the dirty
window we shared on a long
hot dark summer night

When we stopped to rest
between the carnal sessions
we silently stared out

Your legs 'twined in mine
our breathing slowed, taking in
the carnal scent around

The view out no longer
a peaceful resolution,
just a piece of the past.

Sex, love and Shakespeare

Other Times

Photo by SB

They do not love that do not show their love.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

I agree with this view of love as a complicated multi-directional aspects of love and can not add anything to Will's words.

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.

Well, duh. Pretty self explanatory.

Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs,
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes,
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.

Nothing much sexier that Love is smoke raised with sighs. This is a good summary of what love is.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

Sounds more like a motivational quote used by Anthony Robbins than about love. It is a true line though.

No sooner met but they looked;
No sooner looked but they loved;
No sooner loved but they sighed;
No sooner signed but they asked one another the reason;
No sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy;
And in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage...

Seems like the cascade of love to me.

A Graze on my lips: and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

Damn, that is sexy.

Six Word Stories

Woven
Photo by SB

Six Word Stories - each one an individual tale. There are also 6 word memoirs covering a whole life. Maybe I can figure that out some day. Learn more about six word stories here.

Forty, mortgage, balding, and taking photos.

First, second, third, fourth, downshift, third.

Why say "yes", you hate me?

You read it, can you handle?

Phone call, you flirt, not me.

You hang up fast, your hangup.

A thousand sticks of the needle.

First you screamed, then you threw.

You said you forgave, did you?

I talked, you said "fuck you."

She writes to her love again.

My fingers remember all of you.

They are secret for good reasons.

Who has ever loved others completely?

Faith no longer a loving passion.

You probably think this is personal.

Should've known better than to blog.

Six-word stories make weak blogs.



What are your six word stories?

Us vs. Them... Too Much Information

Peace
Photo by SB

My finger is slowly mustering to write again after the injury last Friday. While my writing finger was on the injured list this weekend, I photographed a wedding. In principle, I don't like photographing weddings, but I will do it to help out.

A friend of mine, Claire, was asked to photograph her friend's wedding. This was Claire's first wedding and she was nervous. This was my fifth. Up front, I want to say the wedding couple were beautiful, their families were mostly nice to each other, and everyone thanked the photographers. I don't know why they thank the photographers before seeing the photos we captured.

Most of the groom's and a small part of the bride's families attend a non-denominational mega-church. The pastor of the church presided. His order of ceremony was different because he married the couple then gave a sermon. Usually the sermon is before the vows.

During his sermon, he read every passage from the Bible mentioning marriage between a man and a woman (or as the former Miss California called it, "Opposite marriage.") He did not outright say anything about the gay marriage issue, but it was floating in the air. I found out later the groom's uncle (dad's side) who attended is gay. I wonder how he felt.

I am not going to go off on some rant about their limited views. I was in their space. This was their event. I respect their free speech rights. I just snapped a few more pictures of the guests and tuned him out.

Over the rest of the weekend, I didn't think about it. This morning I read an interesting article at Slate.com. It was a review about the new book, Going to Extremes, by Cass Sunstein. This article made me think of the cultural divide developing in our country. Here are a few key points in the review.

"In the roughly three decades between the election of Ronald Reagan and last autumn's global financial collapse, social scientists and public-policy thinkers were obsessed with the way society seemed to grow more fragmented as it grew more prosperous. Almost everyone diagnosed a growing gap between rich and poor, but the polarization was not just economic."

"...people were sorting themselves by measured intelligence and scholastic achievement."

"... while daily newspapers confront people with all kinds of material they didn't ask for, the Web allows them to dodge what they disagree with." (emphasis by me)

"In theory, the Internet opens people up to new ways of looking at things. In practice, it lets people wall themselves off in informational micro-environments of their own design. It makes them not more cosmopolitan but more parochial."

Very interesting points. With all the information available to us, we should be more enlightened and cosmopolitan. Instead, we are insulating ourselves with an overabundance of like-minded thought and material. We are not exposing ourselves to other views because we can find so much concurring beliefs that we can avoid the me easily.

It is so easy to look at the people at the wedding and think of them as narrow-minded conservative Christians. They were in a sheltered place of like mined people sharing in their extremist ideas. Tsk tsk.

Wait a minute, as I look through my browsing history on my computer (ignoring my "research" of nude photos) I notice almost all my web travels are to left-leaning, artistic, erotic, anti-2257 sites and blogs. Slate.com is pretty liberal as is NPR and other news sites I read. My blog friends share a majority of my views. Most of my daily life friends do to. Am I insulating myself as much as the conservative Christians I just tsked?

So, is it bad that I insulate myself as much as the other groups? My answer, yes and no. I should learn more about their side. Maybe if I understand their motivation, I can find ways of addressing them and finding middle ground. On the other hand, we need the extremist beliefs on both sides to keep the middle in check.

I am naturally attracted to people who share similar passions, beliefs, desires, tastes, and motivations and so will people on the other side of the cultural divide. All of this is a bit disconcerting because I don't want to live in a fractured country.

At the end of the review, there are some interesting ideas from legal philosopher Heather Gerkin concerning the different levels of diversity.

Gerken distinguishes between first-order diversity (diversity within institutions) and second-order diversity (diversity among institutions). To simplify, the first involves insuring that the newsroom of the Los Angeles Times has a certain number of Latinos; the second involves ensuring that the public can choose between, say, the Los Angeles Times, the New Republic, and the Final Call. It is OK if certain institutions aren't diverse as long as society has a diversity of institutions.

It is unrealistic to expect me, or them, to willingly increase the diversity of our groups. We may have different flavors in my group, but we are all basically ice cream. The other side is jello, many flavors, but still jello. My point is not about race or religion, it is about how humans congregate together and what pulls us into like-minded groups.

I really hope the internet and other media sources can achieve the second-order diversity. Since I am not going to join a conservative Christian church to inject my liberal ideas and try to learn theirs, I doubt they will join mine. By having all of these sources of knowledge and ideas available to everyone, those seeking answers may find what they need. There is the problem again though, as stated by the article author. "...it lets people wall themselves off in informational micro-environments of their own design." With that, the cultural divide continues to grow.

out of commission

jammed my middle finger. can't write. damn.

Your Boat

Punting the Cam

Photo by SB

Your boat awaits us
obscured by the dock and clutter
your boat awaits us

We don't quickly launch
we prepare for the voyage
with care and love

We slide the long oars
slowly into their locks and
and ready for the first stroke

We grow excited
to leave the dock and enjoy
the beauty from your boat

With a sweet soft kiss
you lean back and fully open
your boat is ready

SB

A Quick Moment of Zen

Here is a beautiful way to spend 59 seconds (click on photo or here). The short video is of an earth rise from a Japanese lunar orbiter. It puts things into perspective for me

Oh My God...

ZINC, Ark.—A child of members of the Knights Party, 2009

Photo by Bruce Gilden - Magnum Photos

...what people do in Your name.

I saw this photo essay. The first photo made me wonder where it was taken in the 1950s. It was taken in 2009.

This scares me more than 2257. I think 2257 and PROP8 are parts of the mentality shared by these "people" - intolerance, hate, and violence. There are shades of those characteristics all about in our culture and are growing like a slow malignancy, easy to ignore until you notice the lump.

Please view this Magnum Photo Essay - The Resurgence of Hate Groups in the United States.

Favorite Repetitive Firsts

Coffee Drinker
Olive Ray

A week ago I got a haircut. Mel, who has cut my hair for eleven years (one of my longest relationships with any person), was tying the straps of the cape over my neck when she asked, "Would you like a Corona with lime?"

I looked at the clock on the wall, 3:30pm. It was eighty-five degrees outside and for some reason I said, "yes." I don't drink beer much and am not a big Corona fan. Something made me want that beer.

Mel returned with bottle of Corona and a lime wedge inserted in the top. I grabbed the bottle and felt the cold wet condensation chill my hand. My anticipation grew. I pinched the lime wedge between my fingers, releasing its juice down the inside of the bottle neck, then pushed it inside the bottle.

I looked at the bottle for a second then touched it to my lips. The cold beer flowed into my mouth and I savored the flavor, then swallowed before it could warm. At that moment, the world came to a peaceful quietness and the coolness of the beer traveled down my throat and through my body. I relaxed back in the seat, feeling ready for my haircut and the rest of the day.

I mentioned how perfect the first sip of cold beer on a warm afternoon is to Mel. We started thinking of other repetitive firsts that never lose their charm, power, and pleasure. These things had to be experiences we repeat multiple times in our lives, yet we still relish the first moments of them.

Here are a few we thought of and a few more I want to add.

• The first puff off of a cigar or cigarette. The rich smoke spreading through my being. Mel loves her cigarettes and I love my occasional cigar.
• The first sip of good coffee in the morning. This is one of my all time favorite rituals. I feel the warm rich flavor flow to every molecule of my body.
• The first taste of my mom's German potato salad. Every time I enjoy that initial burst of flavor, a epicurean ecstasy fills me.
• The first time I see Half Dome and El Capitan when I enter Yosemite National Park. I enjoy seeing them every other day of my stay, but that first view of natural beauty is as close to a religious moment that I've ever experienced. (This also happens in Glacier National Park and Death Valley)
• The first kiss leading to sex. It may be the 5003rd time we made love, but that first kiss sets the mood, tone, atmosphere, and expectations for the next few hours.
• The first time I hear Silent Night and Oh Holy Night during the appropriate Christmas season. Both put me in a peaceful, powerful moment that makes me have hope. Each time after that, they lose meaning due to them being over played.
• The first time I cycle the transmission through all the gears after not driving a stick shift for a while.
• The feeling of me sliding into my lover's wet warmth as I slowly push and she pulls me in. This short moment of pure beauty combines the senses of taste (a kiss) smell ( arousal ) sound (a moan, sigh and breathing) sight (seeing me enter and the beauty of her body, eyes and her taking me in) and of course touch (the richest touch experience for me, the warm, deep embrace of becoming one with her) This one I didn't bring up with Mel... would have been awkward.
• The first photo I take of a new subject. The exhilaration of starting out a new photographic adventure.
• The first dinner out on a trip. It sets the mood for the rest of the eating adventures ahead.

These are some of my favorite repeated firsts. Do you have any?

David Found the Answers to Hamlet's Questions

I learned today of David Carradine's death. From early reports, it looks like it was suicide. Carradine was not the greatest actor, but he was one that I liked.

In a recent post I wrote about Hamlet's soliloquey "To be or not to be." If Carradine's death was by his own hands, then I guess he answered so many of the questions Hamlet pondered. He knows the undiscovered country.

"But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will..."

Here are a few quotes from an interview with Carradine in 2004.

"You're probably witnessing the last time I will ever answer those questions," Carradine said. "Because this is a regeneration. It is a renaissance. It is the start of a new career for me.

"It's time to do nothing but look forward."

I hope he is regenerating.

In my mind, his best work was this scene from Kill Bill 2. If you haven't noticed, my blog profile pic has always been a photo from this scene.

If you have not seen the movie, Uma's character (Beatrix Kiddo) was an assasin working for and the lover of David's character (Bill). She discovers she is pregnant with Bill's daughter and goes into hiding. This is the scene of her wedding rehearsal and where Bill finds her.

The cinematography is beautiful. Uma and David's chemistry are perfect.

Too Much Yapping

When

Photo by SB

I feel like I've been talking too much lately. Sometimes I have to remember to shut the fuck up and just look at stuff. Here are some photos.

The Scale of Size and Age
Tui, Galicia, Spain
Photo by SB

Storm and Joshua Trees
Death Valley
Photo by Sb

My Life

Duck Lake Road - Rocky Mountain Front - Montana
Photo by SB

Forms
Death Valley
Photo by SB