Resting

Leila - 042610 - Desat

I had a full weekend of yard work, a wedding, painting a relative's car bumper, and more yard work.  All of these were rewarding and worth doing, but I was saddened to hear about a friend who is being hurt by another. 

My backyard is starting to look good for the upcoming summer.   I removed all the old bark chip from the past four years, repaired the ground cloth under it and then put down a cubic yard of new chip.  There is still one huge task of pulling up a stone area and putting ground cloth under it to keep the clover from overtaking it.  After that, I have to do the usual tree pruning, cutting back the neighbor's invasive bamboo and ivy, harvesting meyers lemons, and general maintenance.

I photographed the wedding for fun.  I was not the designated photographer.  I found that I am much better at capturing the special moments rather than setting up the formal portraits.  Since this was for fun, I did none of the latter.

Leila - 042610 - Color

I've noticed since I took a few auto body classes and did much of the work on my truck many acquaintances ask for help.  I am pretty good at telling them if I can do the job or not and the quality they should expect out of it.  For this project, I assured him a "20/20" job.  The rear bumper will look good from 20 feet away or driving by at 20mph or faster.  It turned out a little better than expected.

I will not go into detail, but I heard from a friend who is being screwed over by a former partner.  The whole situation sucks and from the looks of it, everyone is going to get hurt in the end.  Some have already inflicted pain and I see more hurt coming.  All this makes me wonder who can be trusted any more.  So much for the honorable handshake. 

As for photos, I found this little gem of Leila hiding out in my old computer files.  Sometimes I need to play with a simple image and get back to basics.  Obviously I experimented with it in Lightroom.  The more I experiment with de-saturating the image, but keeping some color tonality, the more I like it.  For this image though, I think I like the color version better.  Nothing against color or b/w in general, but it is fun to play on this new-to-me avenue.  I may have to write more about it later... or not.

Leila - 042610 - BW

Culling the Herd and Montana Moments

The Front Yard I Spent Every Childhood Summer In

I had time to cull the blog herd a bit while waiting for my airplane in Salt Lake City.  I follow 43 blogs according to my blogger dashboard,   Many of these have gone TU or private.  It is time to let those go and reduce down to only the blogs I care about and are truly active.

Among the blogs I stopped following is one that the creator writes almost daily.  Sadly though, this writer/photographer's ego and opinions are getting too big and barbed for me to enjoy.  His photos are great, but just not worth the words surrounding them.

Some of the blogs I wiped away were great, but stopped months ago.  I hope the authors are well, but I need to move on.  Good bye and good luck.

I know some of my readers dropped me over the 16 months I've been writing this pap.  Like all things, we fall in love, we grow close, then we slowly drift apart.  Don't worry, I will not heed my friend's advice,  "When in doubt, take it personally. "  It is OK if you stopped following me.  Maybe my writings and images were as annoying as those of some of the blogs I stopped following.

Montana Trip -
I am back home in California now.  Last weekend I left here to drive to my parents house in a car I was giving them.  They need it more than we do and I am happy it has a good home.  Along the way I photographed four towns  in depth (over 800 photos) for my project.  I published a few of the pics from Wells, Nevada last Saturday. 

I am still unpacking both my luggage and my experiences and emotions.  Visiting my parents is both rewarding and takes an emotional and mental toll. I do not want to write more about those parts of the trip, but the photo project parts will appear as warranted.

A Montana Soap Opera

Site of the Moment - Going by at 80MPH

While driving around Montana, almost every historic landmark records the location’s importance to one of three events in the state’s history:

• The Lewis and Clark Expedition
• The Battle of the Little Bighorn (Custer’s curtain call)
• Chief Joseph and the Nez Perce’s exodus across the state as they tried to escape the US Calvary and flee to Canada

I grew up in the south central part of the state in Billings.  Billings had all three of these historical events happen in close proximity to it. Custer and his cavalry were wiped out about 50 miles to the southeast. Chief Joseph and his tribe had a minor skirmish near the town of Laurel, about 20 miles west. William Clark, Sacagawea, and a portion of the Corp of Discovery came down the Yellowstone River that flows along the south side of the city on their way back east.

Of all three, I’ve studied the Lewis and Clark expedition the most and feel a deep sense of pride of living in the area they explored. Their mission was to explore the Louisiana Purchase and find a Northwest water passage from the Mississippi to the Pacific Ocean. While everyone on the entire trip is worth learning about, my hero of the expedition was Sacagawea and I want to write about her today.

Sacagawea was a Shoshone woman who was kidnapped as a child by the Sioux Indians. When she was a young teenager, a French trapper named Charbonneau won her in a game of chance.  By the time she was fifteen, she had married him and was pregnant when they met Lewis and Clark in current North Dakota during the first winter of their expedition.

Lewis and Clark hired Charbonneau as a guide for the next year’s trek to the Pacific. Charbonneau was a lousy guide and worthless to the expedition.  Sacagawea became a leader, guide, naturalist, interpreter and many-time savior of the expedition while taking care of her newborn son.

One of Sacagawea’s first heroic actions was when she calmly rescued the provisions, scientific equipment, journals and other essential items that had fallen into the Missouri River after her husband’s boat had tipped. Without her quiet determination, much of the important information of the trip would have floated away.

The expedition met other Indian tribes along the trail. Almost all of these interactions were peaceful due to the fact that the local tribes felt the group must be peaceful since they brought a woman along and that she was the interpreter.

While every day was part of the soap opera, the story grew more and more intense as they tried to find a water way over the Rocky Mountains of current Montana. They kept going up the Missouri to its headwaters and then up the rivers that joined to create that river at current Three Forks. They were running out of summer days and knew the winter snows were coming soon. If they did not get over the mountains before the snow fell, they would have to survive the winter in Montana. They did not have the provisions, lodging or other key items to do it though.

At the most desperate moment when they were at the end of the one of the tributaries, they saw some Shoshone braves on a hill. The braves reluctantly invited the explorers back to their camp. As the expedition and the tribal leaders sat around a fire, Lewis and Clark tried requesting help getting more supplies and information about getting over the mountains. Even with Sacagawea’s interpretive help, things weren’t going well.

At one point, Sacagawea became quiet, started shaking and crying as she looked at the Shoshone chief Cameahwait.  She suddenly sprang up, calling his name, hugging him and crying. He looked at her and started crying and hugging her. She had found her brother… the only surviving member of her family from the time she was kidnapped.

With that warm bond restored, the Shoshone offered horses, supplies and a guide for trade to help them get over the mountains. Due to this help, the expedition barely made it to the Pacific before winter.

Now is that the ultimate soap opera moment or what? All was about to be lost and through the love of brother and sister reunited, all was saved. Every time I think of that moment, I imagine being there and witnessing how the moment changed history in the instant.

Sacagawea helped the expedition the whole way. While Lewis and Clark loved and respected her and often treated her as an equal, it was not easy for the fifteen year old woman. At the end of the trip, she and Charbonneau were released from their contract. Sadly, she died almost a decade later.

The location of the family reunion is now under the Clark Reservoir in southwestern Montana. I drove by it on Sunday and remembered the history lesson this place held. Never underestimate the importance of anyone. She or he may become the most important person instantly.

If you want to learn more about the Lewis and Clark expedition, I suggest watching Ken Burn’s excellent documentary about them. Much of it was beautifully filmed in Montana and the story he shares is well worth it.

And the Cause Has Been Joined

 Don't

Joshua Tree National Park

I look to the four compass points
and am starting to see
the division lines for battles
scratched in varying grounds.

Some are for ideals
some are for religion
some are for freedom for some
some are for closing others in

We are heading toour own chosen lines
we scratch with a sharp, ragged stick
to stand behind and look across to the adversary
then slowly turn our backs to
so we no longer acknowledge
they may be more like us than not.


Quotes about choosing sides, enemies, and art I chose randomly by blindly clicking.  Some I agree with, some I chuckle at.

All sides in a trial want to hide at least some of the truth - Alan Dershowitz

Be truthful, nature only sides with truth - Adolf Loos

Cause and effect are two sides of one fact - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

An artist must be free to choose what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he might choose. - Langston Hughes

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West

He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious. - Sun Tzu

In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.  The Dalai Lama

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. - John F. Kennedy

Along the way

Not so fast there...

At what point did you realize
the number of those miles
you drove across the country
were more than the ones you have in front of you?

There were many off ramps and detours
that looked pretty nice
from the rear-view mirror,
yet you kept to your path.

Would it have hurt
to have stopped,
taken a leak,
gotten a cup of coffee
and moved into a new home
on one of those other roads?

Ah fuck it, the destination
before midnight is still ahead
and that coffee back there
probably tasted like crap.

Concert Review and Hitting the Road

Candle on Our Table at the Concert

I am going to make the 1200 mile drive up to Montana and stay with my parents for a few days.  I haven't been on a solo road trip since 2007, so I am pretty excited.

I will cross California,  Nevada, Idaho and much of Montana along the way.  My hope is to spend some time photographing a few of the small towns along the way for a project I am working on as a potential grad school application portfolio series.  More about that at another time.

We had a torrential storm hit us yesterday and last night.  In between the downpours, we went to a bar by Ocean Beach in the late afternoon to watch the small cloud breaks and the waves hit the sand.  After that we went to a hip little night club on Market called Cafe Du Nord for dinner and a concert.  It is bathed in dark red colors and lit by soft lights and candles.  The two performers were Ryan Starr opening and Serena Ryder closing.

Ryan Star's Breathe
 


Ryan Star is a young thirty something singer/song writer with a huge sound and voice.  His voice sounds like a young Bruce Springstein with lyrics also like the master's mixed with an anthem sound.  I think he overdoes it a bit, but he definitely has chops and talent and with a little maturing could go big.



Serena Ryder - What I Wanna Know - The hair flip starting at 2:11 is awesome.  She did it last night. Her hair is just one manifestation of the energy and passion she puts into her music.  It is also sexy as hell.

Serena Ryder is a Canadian singer/song writer with a beautiful angelic and sexy voice depending on what she needs.  Her range is amazing both in her voice and musical styles.  She is a fun, sexy, talented and great artist.  I highly recommend listening to her and catching one of her shows.

Serena Ryder's song Sing, Sing, Sing.  This song has become the theme song for supporting music education programs in Canada.  It is a great song and it energized the crowd as we clapped with her.  It is my favorite of hers because of her great voice and also the cause it supports.

The Burden of Our Forefathers Deeds

War Statue in Rome

Dr. L wrote a great comment to my last post Speaking in Another Voice, or Even My Own.  

If it isn't acceptable for a woman to write in a man's voice or to tell a story of men at war, why has it been acceptable for men to be the sole crafters of artistic depictions of women over the centuries and across the board - in all the fine arts, literature, theater, opera, and finally film? Not one fine or performing art has been dominated by women since the beginning of time.

Is a woman's voice less authentic, honest, or intellectually and artistically valid than a man's?

I am not arguing it is. I am stating it as a fact. A woman has just as much artistic license to depict the world as she sees it as the other sex has had at her expense. It's 2010. Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman to take the Academy Award for Best Director. What took so long is my question. It's not a question of who has the right to whose voice. It's about art, and I think it's time for men to move over and quit pretending they own the domain of self expression.

I  agree with her comment, especially the last paragraph. Every person has "just as much artistic license to depict the world" as he/she sees fit.  If an artist can create quality work with meaning to her/him in the areas she/he explores, then the world is better for it.  That is my point exactly, everyone should be able to create all types of art.

My forefathers, in all aspects of culture and history, dominated the areas of science, art, politics, culture, religion and most every other aspect of humanity.  If you were not a white male, your voice was at best tolerated and many times squashed.

In the past century, many people worked hard to overcome and break down these barriers put before them.  We are better for it.  Sadly there are still remnants of the dominating culture oppressing the majority.  We are obviously not in a post-racial or post-gender world.  We must strive to eliminate the powers that be putting limitations on others. 

I am concerned about the ongoing backlash against individuals of the dominant oppressors demographic set even though we have not personally perpetuated the sins of the forefathers.  It is not as blatant or damaging as what other groups have faced, but it is real and prevalent.  This is an unpopular argument since some believe I should have to suffer the penance of the past by not being allowed to participate at all.   I support and defend the rights of free speech and creativity for everyone.  What I am asking is that the historically wronged don't limit me, like my forefathers limited them, just because of the color of my skin or my gender.  Even though I am part of the historically dominant race and gender, that does not mean my voice is not important about issues of race, gender, and other areas.  No one should assume I will only regurgitate thousands of years of dogma just because of my physical characteristics.

While my forefathers wrongly hogged the stage for thousands of years and everyone deserves to participate on it, the remediation should not eliminate my turn.  I am not a direct copy of my forefathers.  I am not doing what they did.  I do not defend the oppression they inflicted on others.   It is crucial I remember the repressive culture my forefathers created and sustained and ensure I don't perpetuate it, but I refuse to feel personally guilty about it if I am not guilty of it myself.

It's about art, and I think it's time for men to move over and quit pretending they own the domain of self expression.

I don't own or pretend to own the domain.  I am not giving up my right to be part of it.  My voice is just as important, but no more so, than of my fellow humans.  Viewers do not need to like my work, that is their right as I hold the same right about theirs.  We need to remember no one should be held back from creating it because of who we are or what our forefathers did.

Speaking in Another's Voice or Even My Own

LH - 040810 - C

Who gets to write or create other forms of art outside of their own demographic groups?  Can I write a story about a woman, or an Asian immigrant, or a any other person other than a white male?

A dozen years ago my wife and I read She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb.  It is a first-person story of woman from childhood through mid-life.  My wife asked, "Why do male authors writing through a female character always focus so much on their period?"

I thought about it and offered up that men often process visual and physical information and the period is a physical female characteristic.  It is also something we have no first-hand knowledge about so it is a curiosity we want to explore through writing.  These authors often go into detail about the physical manifestations of female arousal as well by including descriptions of wetness and nipple hardness.  I am guessing it is again the physical things we see, but have not experienced.  Few male authors go into the feelings behind these physical items and events.

My wife responded that focusing on these events from a man's view lowers the credibility of the author's writing and character development.  I agreed.

Kathryn Stockett's book, The Help,  takes place in the South during the civil rights movement.  Many of the characters are black housemaids and domestic servants.  Most critics and readers praise the book, but some feel that a white woman can not and should not write in and for the voice of the black woman since she is not of that background and is at best waxing nostalgic and worst writing in a condescending or patronizing way about these issues.

LH - 040810 -DeSC

Dr. L wrote an interesting movie review of The Hurt Locker which is the Oscar winning story of a US ordinance disposal group in the Iraq.  In her review she wrote about how the female director's telling of the story made this movie unique:

"Bigelow handles this grim subject matter with a woman's sensitivity and attention to the smallest details. The story is told by the images - a fly on the eyelashes of a sniper, the defiant faces of people in the street, a peddler of pornographic DVDs set up in a marketplace next to a butcher displaying sides of meat, bright wires spread out like a spiderweb to a ring of deadly explosives. "

and

"I will argue that only a woman's eye could have given us this film"

I've read criticism of The Hurt Locker from ordinance disposal veterans and soldiers stating the themes were sensationalized, hokey, preachy, or off mark.  Some of these criticisms may stem from having to make an entertaining movie and some due to the political views and focus of the director and story.  Should a woman tell the story of men in war?  If yes, why is that acceptable?



So, with all of these opinions and criticisms, when is it acceptable to write or create art in a non-native voice?  Even if the quality of the product is lauded, some may feel it is not right since the creator can not correctly produce work since she/he is not part of that community. 

I find this challenge to acceptance very challenging in my art  due to being a white male.  When I tried to create something from a different voice, I received the criticism listed above.  When I created something from my own voice that has erotic or nude content, I've been challenged that my work exhibits the (white) male's gaze.  It is part of the dominant culture's work, so it is not new and  perpetuate white male dominance in culture or even repress the voices and objectify other groups.

LH - 040810 -BW

In a recent discussion/portfolio review, a female artist showed her work consisting of an erotic nature.  Some of her work was similar to mine and other male photographers work I've seen.    I showed some of my photos of Candace and received reviews and criticism.  I am open to how others view my work because art is a subjective personal experience.  I appreciated the interpretations.  I had to ask though, why is Victoria's photos of similar themes accepted differently than mine?  The answer was because I am a man and my motivation and message was different than hers due to my gender (which I do not argue against).  That is probably true, but why is my art criticized as being of less value?  No direct answer was given, but being part of the dominant cultural voice (white male), my work is not innovative for my background and hers is.

Can I create art that comes from my artistic voice even though that voice is of an unpopular majority member?  I was told if I continue with these streams of art during an MFA program, I would be challenged and have a difficult educational journey.  I could create art with environmental, economic, bends with little problem since they tend to be gender/race free.  I could try creating erotic art with a queer theme, but would be challenged since I am not gay.  My acceptable themes appear to be much narrower than other groups' since the history of white men have spoken enough about them.

So what?  Maybe it is time to create the "unacceptable."  Isn't that part of the purpose of art is to push what is acceptable or even break it?  If a woman wants to make a war movie, she should go for it and create the best she can.  If I want to create art that is either outside of who I am or deeply inside my identity, I can do it because that is the art I need to make.  It may not have an audience now, or never that appreciates it, but that is not my purpose for creating it.  Sometimes art is naive and needs to grow up to be relevant.  Sometimes it is the world that needs to grow up and stop limiting thoughts of old issues in order to appreciate the art.

Epiphany

Natures Graveyard

Sierra Foothills

Epiphany (feeling) - An epiphany (from the ancient Greek "ἐπιφάνεια", epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something...   ...for example, Albert Einstein was struck as a young child by being given a compass, and realising that some unseen force in space was making it move.               Wikipedia

As I've written in previous posts, I attended the Society for Photographic Educators conference last year in Oakhurst, California.  My mentor, coach, friend, and former instructor, Beth,  drove me along the the three hour drive home.  We stopped a few times to photograph the beautiful California foothills of the Sierras.

During these stops we would get out and spend some time taking photos of something, each going our own way.   Each stop was a moment to be with the area and find something special to capture.  After a sensed appropriate amount of time, we would return to the car by some artistic homing beacon that told us it was time to move on.

 Sierra Foothills

After the last stop we started to discuss where we wanted our art to go.  I was thinking of the big project I want to start in grad school exploring masculine roles and stereotypes.  A few minutes into the discussion I told her, "When I get some time, I want to do an art project for me.  I want to take a few weeks to photograph the area of Montana where the plains meet the Rocky Mountain front.  That area is very personal to me."

Beth was quiet for a second and then said, "Karl, all your art should be for you."

Most artists will think that is an elementary/cliche bit of artistic wisdom that is pretty obvious, but it was something I had never thought of before and needed to learn.  She gave me a gift of an artistic epiphany.  Thanks Beth.

 Sierra Foothills - Real Colors