Treatments

 In need of treatment here.  My cold lingers.  My job is threatened again.   Personal issues are boiling over.  One salvation is treatments.  They are a healing time to get to know what I love. 

Here are four treatments of the same photo of Leila. Seeing these makes me want to write her right now and set something up.  We will see.  As for these photos, I am digging the grain and edge that some have.  Click on each for a larger view. 

I wrote a book report on Fight Club over at brother blog Hear Me Roar.  The book is a great read.

Post Fine Art Nude - A self-serving post

Sail on silver girl, sail on by

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way - Paul Simon

When I think of the original photography masters of the fine art nude I can come up with a list of the iconic legends.  I know I am missing a few big ones, but here are the ones I thought of first.

• Edward Weston
• Brett Weston
• Ruth Bernhard
• Imogen Cunningham

Likewise, it is not hard to list a few contemporary fine art nude photographers.

• Stephen Haynes
• Kim Weston
• David Swanson
• Carrie Leigh

Most of the names listed in the first group were key artists in the modern art movement of the first two thirds of the 20th century.  The modern art photographers' work emphasized the following key elements:

• The technically perfect print
• Aesthetic beauty
• Accenting texture, curve, line, shadow and contrast.
• Or as Wikipedia says, ...Modern artists experimented with new ways of seeing and with fresh ideas about the nature of materials and functions of art. A tendency toward abstraction is characteristic of much modern art."

There are many other key elements and I am undervaluing their work by not mentioning them.  Their work, combined with non-nude photographers like Ansel Adams, defined the look of the artistic black and white print.  This value and aesthetic still grips art today and can be seen in the works of the second group I mentioned, even if their outputs are in color.

Starting in the late 1950's, some say with  Robert Frank either ending it, bridging the divide, or starting the postmodern movement, the modern art movement began to be pushed aside.   According to Wikipedia:

Postmodern art is a term used to describe an art movement which was thought to be in contradiction to some aspect of modernism, or to have emerged or developed in its aftermath. In general, movements such as Intermedia, Installation art, Conceptual Art and Multimedia, particularly involving video are described as postmodern. The traits associated with the use of the term postmodern in art include bricolage, use of words prominently as the central artistic element, collage, simplification, appropriation, depiction of consumer or popular culture and Performance art.

A part of this movement I am finding important in my continued artistic growth is the growing away from the absolute aesthetic perfection of the fine print and moving toward works that have deeper conceptual meaning and purpose for me.  Maybe I am starting to grow up into my art, and not another artist's.

Over the years I went through my photography phases where I tried to take photos like those I admired.  Some of these phases were the National Geographic phase, the Ansel Adams phase (I have a photo of a sunrise on the Grand Tetons over looking the Snake River that I took in the same spot as Adams did hanging in my bathroom),  and the Edward Weston phase.  I took a few private classes with Kim Weston and learned so much about the aesthetic of the fine art print and the hard work to create it.  I photographed my first nude model during the first session.  One of those prints is hanging in my home office right behind me.  I truly appreciate what I learned during those phases.  It is now time to move on.

When I photographed Leila, I unknowingly wanted to go beyond the classic fine art nude.  I created a few fine art nudes with her, but also some images that had a deeper meaning to me.  Those early attempts were crude, at best.

I really felt the change when I worked with Candace.  I shot many images that fit the classic fine art nude and were beautiful, but I also experimented with projected imagery.  I found some of them were very good and believe that was the moment I wanted to get away from creating images of pure aesthetic beauty celebrating the lines, curves, shapes and shadows of the feminine form.  I wanted more from my photos.

Since then I've been trying to avoid creating my versions of the modern movements classics.  I love and respect those styles, but they are not my cup of tea to create anymore (although one or two on the side are fun).  While I still find beauty in them, I feel my art needs more to it than that style offers me.

Much of the work I created in New York is getting closer to what I want.  Both Moon and Valya blessed me with their artistic beauty to help me with it.  The city itself blessed me with sharing its little and large treasures.  I am excited about this push away from my prior "pretty pictures" to making things that have a bit more narrative and personal purpose in them.  Not all my stuff is good, but is better for me.

The ones they chose

I always get a thrill when a model I've worked with uses some of our work for their own uses.  It interests me which ones they chose.  Here are some of them. 

Moon - Model Mayhem
Valya - Valya's blog,  Model Mayhem,
Leila - Model Mayhem,

Porn and Drugs

Classic Modern Leila

Dr. L over at What We Saw Today wrote about pornography again.  She discusses how the vague boundaries of porn makes it so hard to discuss and define.  All of this makes me think porn and drugs are related, but not in the way you may think.

I've written about pornography a bit too.  I've stated that I believe porn can be art, but not all porn is art.  I've made what most would consider porn.  I've viewed porn.  I am not going to define the boundaries between art, porn and erotica since all three can blend a bit for me.  While the content of the pornography varies and can be defended or blamed, I am not writing about content now.  I want to focus on porn usage.  My belief about porn usage is similar to that of drugs.  Neither are good or bad, it is the intention of the use that is "good" or "bad."

Along the way to getting my psychology degree I had to take both Use and Abuse of Drugs and Human Sexuality.  Both were great classes.  Both came with warnings and caveats.  Both courses were held in the largest auditorium on campus, seating 499 people.  Both classes were full. 

Follow the Arc

In the sex class, we were told on the first day that we could not bring friends, family or any other guest to the class unless they were registered.  The professors (one a behavioral biologist covering the physiology of sex, the other a social anthropologist, covering the cultural, historic, and other contextual aspects of sexuality) told us that we would become used to talking about sex openly and seeing explicit imagery in the class.  If we brought anybody from the outside, they would not  be "desensitized" to the this content and may become distressed.  What a titillating hook!  That made me want to attend class even more.  It was a great class where I learned more about human sexuality than the rest of life could teach me.  We always joked that the lectures were good, but the labs were the best!

The drugs course was a tough class.  We had to learn about the different classifications, uses, and outcomes of using drugs.  Twenty-one years later, I think I've forgotten most of that stuff, which is funny since I work for a drug company.  The main lesson I learned was something the professor stated on the first overhead transparency (pre-Power Point days).

Drugs are neither good or bad, it is how we use them that are good or bad.

The Blessed Ludivica Albertoni 1 - Classic Porn?

All pharmaceutical companies have to monitor the safety of their products.  Every drug has side effects and issues.  By tracking each adverse event and determining the risk/benefit of the product in a process called pharmacovigilance, we strive to give the patients and their health care providers the best information to make needed decisions.

Risk/benefit is a very gray area.    Here is a fictional, but common scenario, I have cancer that will kill me in 5 months.  If I take drug X, it has shown to increase survival rates by up to three years.  The major side effects are nausea and joint pain.  There is a toxicity issue that if taken more than five years, the drug will cause serious and permanent kidney and liver damage that is probably fatal.  Those are pretty bad risks, but the probability that I would live past five years is almost nil making the kidney and liver damage issue moot.  As for the nausea and joint pain, I have to decide if the quality of life issues caused by those side effects are worth it to live another few years.   The risk/benefit equation tips toward benefit.

The Blessed Ludivica Albertoni 2 - Detail

Now lets take the same scenario, but make the disease psoriasis.  Psoriasis is a severe disease, but not fatal.  The risk/benefit equation tips toward risk and the drug should not be given.

If we look at risk/benefit for illegal drugs or drugs that can be used for illegal purposes, it gets complicated.  Marijuana has both risks and benefits.  For cancer and AIDS patients, it can help them survive and lessen the symptoms.  For the pot smokers just wanting a great afternoon of watching Threes Company and toking a bowl, the equation is different.  When we look at E, ruffies, heroin, cocaine, crack, vicodin, huffing glue, meth, the risk/benefit equation heavily tilts toward risk.


Good/Bad, Risk/Benefit as related to porn usage.

In Dr. L's post, she mentions that serial killer Ted Bundy blamed porn as the cause of his crimes.  Whether his statement is true and how true it is, his usage suggests a bad use for porn.  I doubt that porn made him do it, but I can't rule out that it had an influence.  With his case, my assessment is bad use, heavy risk.

Many men in committed relationships view porn.  For some it is just a quick tension release and doesn't affect relations with their partners and family.  It is similar to enjoying a beer after a day's work and relaxing.  In that case I would assess it as good use, good benefits.

Stirred 2 (still baffled why you would need wifi at a brothel)

Many men in committed relationships view porn for hours, masturbating with it daily or even more frequently.  They would rather do that than have sex with their significant others.  There could be many reasons they are not seeking their partner (partner is not interested or is unable to have sex, emotional issues, etc.).  If this use of porn is leading to problems and addictions, I assess it as bad use, risky.

Those are enough scenarios, you can look at how it can help couples explore and have more fun or how it leads people into riskier activities in search of the next hot stimulating thing.  All of them are on that good/bad, risk/benefit scale.

So, which is it for you?  Do you abstain from using it?  Are you a recovering addict?  Are you a recreational user?  Do you use it to improve a healthy sex life?


Side not that is barely related to the topic.
My city of 135K+ souls has only two bookstores, both "adult" and neither really have any books in them.  We have Pier One Imports, Best Buy, Home Depot, Petco, Costco, Target, Walmart, Olive Garden, and sales lots for every major car manufacturer, except Ford.  Makes me wonder what our community really thinks is important to consume.  Literature is not on the list.

Legs - A celebration - and a new (to me) way to publish my photos

Piernas (Andrea on the hood of my old truck)

 Last Friday I saw a great photo essay by Magnum Photos on the theme of Legs at slate.com.    I remembered Joe making a movie using images of Dr. L and another model and knew I wanted to experiment. This inspired me to try and make a movie out of my photos as well.  Along the way of creating the movie, I discovered a few challenges and some rewards as well.

I went through all my digital or scanned photos and chose some that I believe the legs are the key ingredient to the image.  After some editing and post production work in Lightroom, I was ready to make a movie.

At first I used the online movie-making service at animoto.com.  While this service is free for 30 second videos, longer videos cost a little bit.  I opted to get the one year membership and made a few movies.  It is a very easy tool.  You upload the photos, choose background music from their free library, set a few parameters and then their program does all the work.  In the end you get a slick video with little work.  The downsides are the music selection is limited, you can not put in custom text/credit screens, and their is very little customization.  The video at the very bottom was my first attempt.

After playing in that, I used iMovie on my Mac.  It allows for much more customization and editing.  I could also choose any song from my iTunes library, which I did.   After a good bit of time of editing and putting in transitions and text screens, I made the movie you see here.

I thought loading it would be the easy part.  First I tried blogger's video upload.  While convenient, the output player was way too small.  I then created a youtube account and uploaded it there with very tight privacy settings (unsearchable and not published publicly).  I have a few concerns about posting this video there, but I doubt I will keep it there for long.

This is my second attempt at making this type of video.  I see room for improvement, but I am happy with it as a beginner's effort.  Any feedback is welcome.  So, without further ado, here it is - Piernas Bonitas (Nice Legs).

vimeo version

Piernas Bonitas from Karl B on Vimeo.

blogger version

Piernas - Candace

Palin - the flash in the pan. Some thoughts on her "celebrity", pregnancy in red and blue states and gratuitious dirty pictures.

Leila 1 - 052010

Part 1
Stephen first introduced the subject of the "conservative feminist" through citing a quote by Sarah Palin.  Dr. L.  took that and wrote a great post discussing the history of the possible blending of conservative values and feminism and then went on about the limitations of some of the beliefs.  Even if you do not read my post, PLEASE read both of theirs. 

Leila 2 - 052010

I cringe when I hear Sarah Palin speak much like I did with our last President.  She is dumber than George W. Bush and even more outspoken.   She hides behind her smarmy wink and "true American gal" persona as she spreads lies and overly-simple statements about complex issues.  Sadly though, she is gaining traction in the ignorant section of the conservative base (as an aside, both parties have ignorant sections of their party that believe the overly simplistic and bombastic messages that fire up their emotions, yet lack the truth and proof to back it up.)

I will not comment on resigned Gov. Palin's statements on "conservative feminism."  Dr. L stated things far better than I can on the topic.  Palin has a right to say them and she may even have an interesting point or two.  What I want to comment on is how she is now the darling of the conservative movement.

Up until Palin was picked as McCain's running mate, Ann Coulter was the darling of the conservatives.  Her abrasive attack dog style wowed her popularity base.  Too bad they often missed her lies because so many loved her sentiment (and probably her physical appearance as well.)  One thing I've always believed about her was that she was mean.  She made it very personal when she attacked someone.  The only time I saw justice was when she was called out on her ignorance and tendency to overstate things.  Below is a great video of her and Al Frankin in a conversation at the Connecticut Forum.   Her expression right after Frankin mentions the holocaust shows she knew she lost the moment.



Palin took Coulter's crown as the Queen of the GOP.  Her influence is much different.  She is not as openly abrasive or caustic as Coulter.  Her mean edge is veiled under a good ol' girl "ah-shucks" persona.  Coulter tried to carry an intellectual persona while Palin mocks intellectual thought.

Leila3 052010

I believe Palin is more dangerous because of her two-sided push.  She not only attacks liberals on their progressive agenda, but also on their intellect.  Her message basically is, "They think they are smarter than us, but they don't understand us real Americans."  This scares me because she is fueling a class war based on intellect.  Scary stuff.

There is one good thing about Palin's growing celebrity.  She is getting so much exposure as a commentator, pundit, and "expert."  Palin is sharing her opinions on everything, including the melding of conservatism and feminism.  With all of this stuff being recorded, she is killing her chances of running for President due to all the contradictory statements she has made.  She will be buried in a debate when any opponent can dig up evidence of her ignorant contradictions to her own statements.  By becoming the conservative darling and reaping the rewards of her celebrity, she probably killed her chances for high-level public office in the future.

Part 2

I've read Dr. L's, Stephen's, Z's and many others opinions about defining pornography.  I've written a bit about it myself sharing that I've created stuff I might even label as porn.   One thing that pisses me off though, why do ignorant people get to define my intent of my images and what I like?

I am tired of the conservative side getting to frame the issues and the progressives always being on the defensive.  Fuck, I thought we decisively won the last election, but we sure don't act like it.

Leila 3b - 052010

There have only been two times since the new administration came in that I felt the progressives framed the issues.  Pelosi and Obama took charge and framed the issue in the last months of the health care legislation battle and got the thing passed.  It is not a perfect piece of legislation, but much better than the prior systems.  The second was when progressive lawmakers made banking officials and conservatives squirm during the recent financial reform battles.  Thanks to the shenanigans of Goldman Sachs, AIG, and other big institutions, they made it even easier to point out the need for more discipline.  As a lady on the bus told me yesterday, "Any game, whether football, life, or the banks, needs lines to set the boundaries and referees to keep an eye on the game.  Without them, it would stop being an organized system and go into chaos."

It is time we frame the argument.  Instead of defending our art, culture, and lives, why don't we ask the Palins/Coulters, "Why are you ashamed of your bodies?  Why should we be ashamed of enjoying and seeking sex?  Why are you ruining it for everyone?  What are you trying to teach your children?  Sex is the devil's toy??  Does all that moral teaching of the dangers of sex work?"



On NPR, I heard a story that blue states tend to have people getting married at an older age (late twenties and older), having children at an older age, and staying married longer and in higher numbers than red states.  (Please listen to the story) Red states tend to socialize their children that sex is bad and avoid giving realistic education in general, and sex especially, to them.  That is part of the reason young adults in red states tend to get pregnant much younger (under 25), getting married before they have defined who they are as adults, and then divorcing when they discover they married the wrong person for the wrong reasons.  I wont even get into how many of these divorces are caused by people who got married too young and finally accepted they were gay as they grew older.  I wonder if Bristol Palin would have learned something living in a blue state?

How can the red states defend this track record of crappy "family values" of unwed mothers, early marriage and divorces?  The blue states are the ones truly supporting family values by educating their kids better in both sex and all other subjects, teaching them to enjoy life, be careful, find out who you are, establish yourself as an adult and then maybe get married and have kids.  Who cares if your spouse is the same sex or not.  At least you are more likely to stay together.

I offer up this deal to all of Palin's  uptight followers.  I promise I will not judge your plain vanilla, under-the- blankets, in-the-dark, without-foreplay sex if you don't judge my sexual interests, fetishes, kinks, and practices either.  The funny thing is though, I know most of you do the same "dirty" things too.  The difference is I enjoy mine without guilt.  Can you say the same thing?

Leila and Hanna - Triptych of the same image 052010

Now, a note on a few risque photos.  Some may define them as porn, but I put them here for both artistic and prurient pleasures.  I am not ashamed of enjoying such images in both artistic and erotic ways.  Why should I be, Ann and (resigned) Gov. Palin?

NOTE - On Leila3b, a enlargement of Leila3, I love the four or so pubic hairs that are rebelling out of the top of her panties.  It brings back memories of the rich posts from last year cherishing the beauty of pubic hair.  It is damn sexy.

Resting

Leila - 042610 - Desat

I had a full weekend of yard work, a wedding, painting a relative's car bumper, and more yard work.  All of these were rewarding and worth doing, but I was saddened to hear about a friend who is being hurt by another. 

My backyard is starting to look good for the upcoming summer.   I removed all the old bark chip from the past four years, repaired the ground cloth under it and then put down a cubic yard of new chip.  There is still one huge task of pulling up a stone area and putting ground cloth under it to keep the clover from overtaking it.  After that, I have to do the usual tree pruning, cutting back the neighbor's invasive bamboo and ivy, harvesting meyers lemons, and general maintenance.

I photographed the wedding for fun.  I was not the designated photographer.  I found that I am much better at capturing the special moments rather than setting up the formal portraits.  Since this was for fun, I did none of the latter.

Leila - 042610 - Color

I've noticed since I took a few auto body classes and did much of the work on my truck many acquaintances ask for help.  I am pretty good at telling them if I can do the job or not and the quality they should expect out of it.  For this project, I assured him a "20/20" job.  The rear bumper will look good from 20 feet away or driving by at 20mph or faster.  It turned out a little better than expected.

I will not go into detail, but I heard from a friend who is being screwed over by a former partner.  The whole situation sucks and from the looks of it, everyone is going to get hurt in the end.  Some have already inflicted pain and I see more hurt coming.  All this makes me wonder who can be trusted any more.  So much for the honorable handshake. 

As for photos, I found this little gem of Leila hiding out in my old computer files.  Sometimes I need to play with a simple image and get back to basics.  Obviously I experimented with it in Lightroom.  The more I experiment with de-saturating the image, but keeping some color tonality, the more I like it.  For this image though, I think I like the color version better.  Nothing against color or b/w in general, but it is fun to play on this new-to-me avenue.  I may have to write more about it later... or not.

Leila - 042610 - BW

The Nature of the Beast

 Menage a...

Last night I wrote a long post about the rights of the models and the subjects of photos.  I was in a pretty defensive mood and felt undervalued as a photographer when I wrote it.  This morning I was very enthused to see Dr. L had left two great comments.  Both were very enlightening.

When I look at glamor and celebrity (not paparazzi) photography, I know the purposes of the images are about the person and/or what they are wearing.  The photographer is usually the silent partner in the final image and is rarely given credit to the photographer.  The reader of the magazine turns the page or the driver passes the billboard never knowing, needing to know, or caring about who took that photo.  Any photographer in that line of work knows their name will not be known outside the industry, but will be known inside by the media companies, models, and other photographers.  That is the nature of the beast of glam/fashion/celebrity photography. 

On rare occasions, media companies will hire big named photographers like Annie Leibovitz, Richard Avedon  or Dan Winters to create fashion and/or celebrity images.  In those instances, it is the media company's desire to leverage the names of the products, celebrities and photographer.  If they can hire all that talent, it would be foolish not to use all the names.  It is the nature of that beast.

When art models work with photographers, the balance is very complicated.  I've been blessed to work with Candace Nirvana and Leila Swan.  They are two very different models.  Candace's work celebrates the beauty and subtle eroticism of the female form.  Leila's work has a much more explicit erotic touch.  It is what makes them unique in their industry.

Both Candace and Leila have much bigger names in the industry than I do and I felt honored by their modeling for me.  In both cases I payed them a fair fee which I was happy to do.  I knew I was working with professionals that would work hard with me to create the best we could together.  They both also had more to lose if I took lousy images of them.  As you can guess, I do have a few bad images of them.  The lighting and composition was poor, they were just about to sneeze and their eyes were half closed, or a range of other mishaps occurred in that moment.  I deleted them because it would hurt all of our reputations if I let them out.  Since they are better known and searched for more often, they have more to lose.  Along those lines, I always give the models I work with digital copies of our work for their own promotional needs.  Since I am a small fish, their name helps build my reputation.

If my last name was Weston and I came from that great lineage, I would probably have the recognized name.  I would need to make sure every image I put out in my name was as good or better than my previous work.  So much of my business and reputation relies on keeping the name, the brand, and the quality up.  I am sure many models would want to work for me due to these high standards and to help beef up their resumes and portfolios.  In those cases  I would allow them to use the images for self-promotion, but would need to keep a tight control on other uses of the image.  It is already too easy to steal others' work on the internet.

This balance of model and photographer name value needs to be considered to protect both parties.  Even though I am a artistic nude neophyte, I need to protect my reputation.  I hope the models I work with will respect that and also protect theirs as well.  That is why I would never sleep with a model or break comfort boundaries when working with them.  We may want to push the boundaries a little to see what edge we can create, but in a safe environment.  I admit that I can get aroused during a session, but I also get deeply engrossed in the moment, the light and the image.  It all has to balance out for the art.

Sadly though too many amateur photographers out there are GWCs, guys with cameras.  They are there to get "hot pics of smokin' babes."  I admit that I like the voyeuristic feel of being behind a camera, but my intent goes a bit further.  Too bad though so many gwc's are fucking it up for us decent amateur photographers, but I guess that is the nature of the beast.

While reading Dr. L and Alex's post I was trying to find another professional relationship to compare it to.  One I can think of is the relationship of the chef and the wait staff.  The chef is the artist creating the culinary marvels.  The challenge though is to create the marvels the customers want and that they feel they want to make.  The wait staff is the special liason between the customers and the chef.  The customers do not get to see the chef or talk to her since that is the job of the waiter.  The waiter though must be skilled in knowing the food, what to suggest for the varying palettes, pairing everything with the right wine, and ensuring the flow of the kitchen to the table is paced perfectly.  Both are crucial to making the dinner perfect through a deep symbiotic relationship.  The chef gets the notoriety and the waiter gets the tips.  Neither really expect to receive the others' rewards.    It is the nature of that beast.

I am not sure if the photographer is the waiter or the chef as with the model.  Maybe they are not completely analogous, but I like the example since it shows the true symbiotic relationship for success.  The rewards for both are very different, but that is nature of the beast.

I have not had the privilege to be requested by an art model to photograph their concept and then work with them directing the session.  I was asked by one model to photograph her nude while she held animal entrails.  She wanted to make a statement about pornography and being a piece of meat.  Sadly though she had a family tragedy that took her out of the area and we never got past the concept stage.

In that type of relationship between model and photographer, I would probably download my images to her computer, sign a contract, take my fee and hope she sends me some samples of our work.  In my mind she would own the copyright to those images.  Sadly though, this is a beast that has no nature because I doubt I will have that opportunity again.

In the end, all of these relationships have been defined by the nature of the beasts we work with.  Usually one of the participants, the photographer, model or agency, has the power and leverage.  While we may try to protect ourselves and our name, we can't control it all.  The best we can hope for is that all parties communicate their needs and desires up front and then respect each other after the moment is over.


PS - Tomorrow we are in for a special treat as a surprise guest to this blog answers the questionnaire.  I feel it is a major coup to introduce this fine person...

Four Inches into Space

Being Small

Technically, space begins at 100 km (about 62 miles) above the earth's surface. There are other measurements that define barriers as well. Two thousand pounds is a ton. The distance from the earth to the sun is an astronomical unit (1 au = 93 million miles). For human males, I think the height barrier measurement for being tall is six feet.

Last month I was walking out of my class and Mollee and Andrea were chatting in the parking lot. As I got my car keys out, Mollee asked, "Karl, how tall are you?" I replied with my standard 6'4"-unless-I-am-wearing-heels answer. Mollee's only response was, "Damn. You are tall." I hadn't heard that one before.

When you are over 6', you are tall. It is curious how people have to tell me the obvious. It seems a bit absurd. They don't tell me, "Karl, you are white!" That is just about as obvious as my being four inches into space.

I do not complain about being tall. It is just how it is. I can reach objects on the top shelf and see the dust on top of the refrigerator. I've learned to either bend with my knees or squat when I have to do low-down work. My back is healthy and I need to keep it that way.

While I try to respect the people I meet, I do look down on them... literally, not figuratively. I have no choice. Sadly, most tall people compensate by slouching, which looks bad and is very harmful to our backs. After someone once told me to stand tall and be proud, I thought about how silly it is to slouch. There is no reason. I am tall, you are shorter. It doesn't mean anything except the obvious physical differences.

On rare occasions I meet people taller than me. It is odd to look up and see someone. On a few very rare occasions (only twice that I can think of) I've met women taller than me. One was my date to prom. It was awkward at first dancing with someone a half inch taller than me. It felt good. We both commented on how it was to be with someone similar. Nothing became of that relationship, but our prom pics are still unique for both of us. Here is an interesting article at the blog, The Other Tall Girl. It is good to read it from the woman's perspective.

Interestingly, all my girlfriends have been under 5'1". It is not that I seek out women that are over a foot shorter than me, but it is what I am unconsciously drawn to and that seem drawn to me.

A few years ago, my hair stylist told me my hair was thinning up top. I was getting "too tall for my hair." She said, "Don't worry, you are tall. No one will see it." I had to remind her that when I was sitting in her barber's chair, she could see it. So, when sitting, tall does not mean much

Another interesting place where tall does not matter much is in bed. Since both of our heads are on the pillows, we are the same height. So when sleeping, I am not tall. Sex though is another story. Being tall opens certain possibilities and rules out others. I've learned what works.

It is funny, there aren't too many tall jokes other than comments about the weather up there. I've heard short jokes though and wonder why short people get teased for that. Being tall does not make me a better person than others. Tall people get teased about having big feet. I have size 13 shoes. My dad, who is two inches taller than me and wears 15s, was nicknamed "acre foot" by his coworkers. I have to admit, that one is funny. I am sometimes called the "gentle giant." When I hear that I think about the song Behind Blue Eyes by The Who and wonder if those who call me that truly know me.

Speaking of "Gentle Giant" and other tall names and stereotypes, here are a few more.

• Tall people are natural leaders. Untrue. I am not a great leader. I can lead when needed, but I am not better at it because I am tall. I've been lead by short people and followed them because I believe in them. It is the charisma and intellect, not the vertical measurements.
• Tall guys are good at basketball and football. There is a reason I threw shot put and discus and did not play basketball or football. I am lousy at those team sports.
• Tall people are physically awkward. Sort of true. I think we are no more clumsy or awkward than anyone else, especially growing up. The awkward part though is having to fit into small chairs, hit our heads on things, and deal with a world that is not designed for our height. I would not be surprised if short people have the same issues, just in the opposite direction. Where I can not set my car seat back far enough, they can't get it forward enough.
• Tall men, or those with big feet, are generously endowed. I like that one and will neither confirm nor deny it.
  

I used to be a math and science teacher. I now teach science and federal compliance stuff at my job. Whenever I am debuting a new course, I always wear my black cowboy boots (my version of high heels) for good luck and also because they are my most comfortable shoes. Once, a coworker noticed this trend and asked me about it. I told him I did that to feel taller and to have more of a presence in the room. He did not know I was joking and stammered out, "But Karl, you are already tall." I had to laugh at that one.

As a photographer, I've noticed many of my photos are taken at my eye level. If the subject is a person, you will see what I see. At the conference I attended last month, I showed two photos of Candace where I am above her. Some of the viewers took a feminist reading of my message of male dominance over the subject. I am not consciously trying to show a dominance in these photos, just sharing what I see. Too be honest, the subjects or models in my photos often have just as much power as I do in the moment. I wonder if shorter photographers are told their work shows a submissiveness message because they are looking up?

At times, I would rather be shorter. Clothes would be easier to find. My knees would be comfortable when sitting in chairs. I would have more choices in the cars I could drive. I wouldn't bump my head on the overhead luggage bins every fucking time I stand up in an airplane. While these are huge inconveniences, I am not about to have six inches cut out of my legs to fit better.

So, what is the point of all this tall talk. Not much. I just saw Avatar, and after seeing the tall blue main characters, I got to thinking about height. To paraphrase a saying from an old post of mine, "It is okay to be recognized as tall or short by those who notice it, just please don't stare."

One Year On

It Started with Leila

December 15, 2008 Mission and Vision of the blog

I am pulled to simple messages, photos, images, sounds, and art. Sometimes the simplest things say the most things. The sensual world around us is so sweet and simple, yet will mess with our mind for days and make us wonder "what the fuck was that?" Those are the delicious moments I live for.

I am going to post my writings, photos, thoughts, moods, or whatever is needed for the time. My spelling is nominal, my grammar is almost acceptable. That will not be my point. I will also share works of others (and of course cite them) that I find important for the moment. This will not always be a daily blog, but I hope to contribute things that took some time to create or find and not just post something to show I posted.

What it was and what it became:
I was searching for clarity about what I wanted and desired in my art, creativity, sensual needs, and tried to create an outlet for all of these. I wrote some half-baked, long, sort-of haikus, sort-of poems, and rambled on about being randy. Now it feels like it focuses more on art and less on other life stuff. It has kind of reversed over the year.

I look back to the early days and see an edginess that I really like and kind of miss. It was much more raw. My writing had a yearning to express things I had never shared in my life. I also was trying to find my writer's voice. I dabbled in everything, especially sex and art. I am not sure if I regret the evolution of this blog to where it is now. I miss the old reckless abandon of the early posts though. I wonder if these changes reflect my efforts to avoid alienating readers with unpopular topics and imagery or just said all the wild things I needed to say?

Some of my most personal blogs shared a story of a friend's suicide, my bi-sexual curiosities, and a certain erotic story from Galicia, Spain. I still feel a bit raw when I read them and wonder of their value.

One of my favorite series of posts came from a comment someone left disparaging Katie's beautiful abundance of underarm hair. Dr. L wrote some great posts about it and that issue kept creeping back a couple of times. I hope some good came out of that discourse. My preference for women and body hair, if you are happy with it shaved or fully grown, then I am too. Both are sexy because the woman hopefully feels sexy with or without it.

I noticed many posts were inspired by reading others' blogs. Some of these bleed-over topics included censorship, sex, artist's anguish, and erotic imagery. I want to thank those who helped me carry on a conversation they started. I hope my additions pushed the topics further or in new directions.

Thanks to this blog and the many appreciated comments, I am starting to understand my artistic voice. I am not sure what the future of this blog holds. I appreciate the outlet and the many readers I've learned from. You kindred spirits are very important to me.

Resting

By the numbers:
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First photo of mine uploaded: 1/25/09 Leila and Hana (Ying and Yang)


Date of first comment: 1/24/09 Chris St. James Also first follower!
Date of last comment: 12/10/09 Dr. L.
Followers: 20

Holding the Precious

What is too far and or too soon? Part 1

Learn Me

Photo by Igor Amelkovich

I recently saw a series of photos showing erotic, sensual romantic love, passionate erotic sex, aggressive controlling sex, and violent domestic abuse with possible rape. Many agreed the content in the last photo illustrated the horrors of domestic violence.

In another venue, I saw someone joking about Michael Jackson's death. That person was chastised by the audience members shouting, "Too soon!"

At what point does culture decide that something is appropriate or has stepped over the line? In the same way, how does culture decide that enough time has passed that we can look at an event more objectively and maybe even with humor?

In a recent photography class, we had an assignment to photograph veterans. During the critique, we all gushed over how stoic, anguished, powerful, heroic, and great each photo was. Some of the subjects were in current service, others older and retired. There were men and women of different races and ages. We all gushed.

At one point the instructor, a Vietnam War veteran, asked, "Is it because of the subject matter that we can not criticize the photos?" He had a point. Were we afraid to criticize the quality of the image, the subject, the composition, and other aspects because we may fear it would reflect our inner beliefs about veterans? Are veterans so revered that we must soften our attitudes out of deference to their sacrifice and service?

Their was an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and his girlfriend could never find time alone. The only time they could was while at a movie. They made out during Schindler's List. The girlfriend's family found out and were disgusted by the lack of respect for the movie. For a show about nothing, they brought up an interesting point about freedom of thought and speech. Can the holocaust, September 11th, or any other tragedy be joked about? If yes, when, how, why, and by whom?

Now, let us talk about sex. What is too far? We know the old statement about porn, "I know it when I see it." Some see erotica and art, others see porn. I may be a freak, but I've seen erotica that was not art and porn that was.

Her Favorite
Photo by Igor Amelkovich

In a relationship, what is defined as right for the couple may be defined as "too much" or "too far" by culture. Which is right? At what point is bondage abusive? What if I put a blindfold on my lover and then kissed, massaged, tickled, and pleasured her with my mouth? What if I did that same thing but she was blind folded and softly tied up with silk bows? What if I pinned her arms under my hands? What if they were leather straps? What if I was pinching? What if she wanted and desired this? At what point does the transfer of power in a relationship, sexual or not, constitute abuse? Let us ask the same questions if the roles were reversed and I was the submissive one? Is it OK if the submissive is male?

Kinbaku
Photo by L0chai

This then brings up the question, why does the submissive partner want to be treated like this? What is his/her history? If their was prior abuse, does that make it absolutely wrong to act on it? If there was no abuse, just curiosity and desire, does that make it right?

Let us look at the roles of the stripper and the client. Men going to a strip club are seen as "dogs" at the worst and "shallow" at the least. Bachelor parties with strippers are looked down upon, but are understood as a "traditional objectification of women" right of passage. Married guys going once, or continually to strip clubs are leches and unfaithful.

How about the reverse? What are the perceptions of women seeing male strippers? How about the bachelorette party? Married women going to see the Chippendale dancers? Some say it is wrong and disgusting. Others celebrate that women can finally celebrate their sexuality and desires. It brings equality to the misogynistic history of the men going to see strippers. At that point though, isn't it misanthropic?

Restrained
Photo by D Photos

I am a libertarian on most of these issues. What floats your equally accepted and desired boats is your business. That is true for most things, but I have to take issue when we delve into the reasons we desire such things. At that point, when is it OK to go too far or when is it too soon or soon enough to go into taboo areas?

Up Time
Photo by Dee Selaris

I've posted a gamut of photos here, one mine, most not. Some may seem tame and some may be defined as violent or abusive. At which point did they cross the line? I know I have my own definitions for that line, but how do we as a society decide where to put that line?

That Time
Photo by Karl

Touching the Flesh

PJ Harvey and Nick Cave - Henry Lee
Photo by Rocky Schenck
See the sensual music video here

I learned in my photography class to think about how the model(s) touch skin is important to the photo. We need to see how lightly or tightly we touch the flesh of ourselves or others. This touching adds to the narrative of the story by showing relationship, emotion, alertness, and closeness.

In my work, there are three levels of contact between flesh. They are:

"Kiss the Flesh" - This is when one touches the flesh so softly it is like a butterfly kiss. It is the softest touch around. It can be sensual, comforting, or just getting someone's attention.

Discovering
Photo by Karl

"Caress the Flesh" - This is when you rest your hand, or other body part, caresses the skin, maybe even cupping it. This can be a reassuring touch, a sensual caress, or just resting your hand.

Sigh
Photo by Karl

"Press the Flesh" - This is when one presses into the skin. This could be a grasp, a push, or many other possible examples. This can be sensual hold, a violent grab, or just the photographer resting his chin and jaw in his hand.

Prosperina
Bernini

While there are three degrees of touch, not including pinching, scratching, and other types of contact, there are numerous different messages from each. They can communicate love, caring, anger, caution, arousal, ecstasy, danger, sympathy, and concern among many other messages.

I think showing the touch is a crucial part of the photo. It helps make it human.

Below are examples of the three types. You decide the message sent by it. As you can see, they aren't always erotic, or even caring.

Other Times
Photo by Karl

A Taste
Photo by Karl

Truman Capote, New York, 1965
Irving Penn

Adjustments
Photo by Karl

Richard Avedon
Photo by Irving Penn

"Self Titled"
Photo by Karl

" "

Photo by Karl

Ian Mckellen
Photo by Nadav Kander

Waiting
Photo by Karl

Arm Grab
Photo by Pete Colm

Glamour?
Photo by Karl
Katie 3
Photo by Karl
L and H
Photo by Karl

Couple
Photo by Photobunny

Candace Nirvana 103109
Photo by Karl

Massage
Photo by John Wright

Resting Between Cameras
Photo by Karl

Untitled
Photo from Getty Images

Preliminary Motions
Photo by Karl

Andy Warhol's Scars
Photo by Richard Avedon

Untitled
Photo by Peter Denman

"F O"
Photo by Karl