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| Wonder Wheel - Coney Island - New York - June 2010 |
Sometimes I celebrate every trip around the yearly ferris wheel. This is my 13th time around it in California. I quit trick-or-treating at age 12. I've been in this state longer than I enjoyed the candy years. Thinking about previous Halloween's and the times enjoyed on them, I start to wonder what has magic any more. Christmas lost it about 10 years ago, about the same time as New Years. I enjoy July 4th mostly because it is my brother's birthday, but that firework of a holiday is losing its shimmering brightness. Even my birthdays are feeling dull.
I am not depressed about these diminished dates. I think it may be due to having lived through 41 of them, they have lost their magic. This may be the only time I lament not having kids is that I may have felt the wonder of these days through and with them.
I am learning to celebrate other days. These days have no date attached to them. I celebrate the days I get a massage, get to photograph, get to help out the charity I support, get to make love, get to eat a great dinner with someone(s) special, and get to sleep in late without worries. Holidays have a faded memory of value. I reflect on them more than celebrate or feel excited about them. Maybe it is time to let go of those dates lacking a purpose instead to celebrate and enjoy those that come and go and are forgotten.
I hadn't even thought what a big deal Halloween used to be. I must be quite immersed in the present. Today I went to the lake, where I won't be able to swim again until late May. The days there have been so sensual and pleasurable, and for me, what matters is the recent past, as in last summer and earlier this fall.
ReplyDeleteI think that's what you meant by celebrating other days, and it's a beautiful thing. Now I wish I had written this post and not the one about attacking dogs.