"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

Courtney - 100810

"God, you artists are a defensive, jealous lot."

I overheard that during a critique.  It was not directed at me, but it could have been.  As I swim deeper into the art world I am noticing a few common character traits among artists.  The first trait is a sense of self aggrandizing of the artist's work and the second is a jealousy of other artist's success.

As I grew up, my parents showered compliments on anything I created.  They wanted to encourage my creativity.  Every picture I drew was beautiful and every concert I played in was amazing.

The first time I received criticism on my music or art came in ninth grade.  I took both art and band.  Both teachers were trained in their field and were very accomplished in their talents.  Both teachers wanted to encourage us and gave us time to develop, but also made sure to let us know where we could do better.  It was tough hearing the truth, "Karl, sounds like you didn't practice or put much effort into it.  Is that true?"  Tough feedback pissed me off, especially when it was true.

When you take art in college, you had better get used to the critique.  Most students, but not all, are easy on each other.  The professors are much tougher.  Most of the time I admitted the faults of the work and learned how I could do better.  Once in a while though I got defensive and stood up for my art.  "I did it right.  You are seeing it wrong."  That is a common mantra in my mind during critique.  I bet it is the same one for many artists.

As we develop, we grow our own artistic styles.  We choose our tools, tonal palette, media, materials, subject matter, angles, and aesthetic that speaks to and from our artistic soul.  As a tuba player, I live for playing Bach.  I come alive as I play the contrapuntal bass line that completes the harmonies and gives it a foundation for the whole piece and ensemble.  I don't really care for marches since the tubas only exist to keep the rhythm (Except for some of Sousa's marches.  Listen to the tuba line in Stars and Stripes Forever (check out the video at 1:29).  You can also see the great tradition of when the brass (trumpets, trombones, baritones, and tuba) stand up for the last chorus.  I don't know where the tradition started, but it makes the march come alive at the end.)



I know most artists do not find an appreciative audience who truly understand their work.  They continually have to put up with "that's nice" from family and either silence, obscurity or criticism from the public.  With out that support, the artist has only two choices - fight for their art or drop it.  To remain an artist, he/she must fight for it, believe the art is important,  be open to suggestions, but in the end know it is his/her art. 

This self defensive wall is a big challenge in critiques.  It is important to listen to the criticism and decide how to improve the art.  At what point do you say to the the critic, "You just don't get it." ?  When do you defend your art?

This need to believe in the importance of your art pushes most artists into the second issue, creative jealousy.  I've seen this jealousy in myself and others  manifest in different ways.

The first is a jealousy of another artist's work.  Your colleague created something so amazing that you kick yourself for not having done it first.  Maybe he or she was working on something similar to your work but took it to another level or direction and created masterpieces.  I always ask myself, "Why didn't I think of that?"  I feel deflated when I see that and wonder whether I should even try doing my work anymore because it has been done better by another.  I also feel anger since as I begin to feel they took my idea and went further with it.  At some point though I have to realize that unless they actually stole my idea, it is done and I have to learn and move on.

The second type of jealousy comes from seeing others get opportunities and recognition for their work that you feel is no better than your own.   A month or so ago I found out a friend had orchestrated a major multi-artist exhibit and print edition.  She knew I had worked in the same theme with the same exact materials.  For some reason (and to be honest, I haven't asked) I was not considered for the collaboration.  I've seen a few pieces from the collection and know my work is as good or better.  She even notified me about it after it was done (that felt like a deep cut) so I could contact the people involved since I knew a few of them (and that was salt for the cut).

I felt a deep jealousy and anger toward all involved.  I've supported their art and felt betrayed.  After reflecting on it I came to a sadder conclusion.  I wasn't betrayed or purposefully excluded.  I was either forgotten or didn't even pop into the group's consciousness as a consideration.  It wasn't that I was cast to the side - I wasn't even considered.  It may have been my lack of a name in the community or not having enough ties, but in the end I wasn't even noticed.

My friend James is a writer.  He has had a number of essays and short stories published, but his first novel (a truly great read that needs to get published) keeps getting rejected.  James is a bit more zen than I am.  He believes it will get published by the right publisher at the right time.  He has a collection of the rejection letters and plans to burn them when his book gets published.  

This type of jealousy burns deep and I have to figure out how to deal with it in healthier way like James does.  He believes in his novel and knows it will get out there when the right opportunity opens up and he seizes it.

After reflecting on these two traits, my belief in the following statements grows deeper.  The last three I learned from Duane Michals.  I don't know where the first came from.
1. Luck is when opportunity meets ability.
2.  Nobody really gives a fuck about you, it is up to you to make your art important. 
3.  Don't go against your intuition.
4.  Two choices in life - doing it or becoming bullshit.